Can't Stop This Thing We Started Outtakes
by makesmyheadspin
Summary: A collection of outtakes from the Can't Stop This Thing We Started universe, co-written with Scribeninja. AH
1. Tighten Up

**Hi friends! So this is just one of many outtakes that Scribe and I have written in the last couple of months that has kept us from finishing _After the Storm_ in the time frame we thought we would. We decided to go back and recreate various points in history that explain how Eric and Sookie met, and how their relationship got to the point that it did when _Can't Stop This Thing We Started_ begins in Mexico. So the first of these outtakes goes back to the very first time they met when Sookie showed up at the bar looking for a job. Keep in mind that the usual still applies. I wrote Sookie's part and Scribe wrote Eric. We'll be getting his POVs in some of these outtakes as well, so you get to see both sides of the story in some places. Hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

Outtake: Tighten Up

"Oh good, you're wearing red," Pam said with a smile and a tilt of her head when I stepped out of my bedroom.

"I don't really see-" I started, but was cut off.

"You have great tits, Stackhouse. You should display them more often," Pam said appreciatively.

"Uh, thanks, Pam. Can we go now?" I asked her.

She smirked, crooked a finger at me and I followed her out of the apartment I was sharing with Amelia. The financial aid I'd scored was doing its part to pay for the educational part of college, but since I was living off campus that meant I had bills to pay. My parents were kicking in a little bit for the utilities, but they had warned me that if I wanted to get an apartment that I would be responsible for paying my share of the rent. That meant getting a job ASAP, and it was lucky for me that Pam's brother co-owned a bar with her. Even better, they were looking for help.

Pam had a hell of a lead foot, so a trip that should have taken about forty-five minutes only took about twenty. The bar was impressive, and in a good neighborhood. It was two stories, and decorated like a modernized Irish Pub. I liked the atmosphere of it immediately, even if I technically shouldn't really have been in the establishment. I was only nineteen at that point. The bars closer to campus were much more lax about checking to make sure the pictures on the IDs matched the person flashing them, but I was pretty sure this bar was a different story.

"Come on," Pam waved me inside.

"Nice bar," I shouted over the crowd and the music once we were in.

Pam snickered and said, "We're redecorating the dining room. Eric has zero taste."

"I like it," I shrugged, and followed her.

The bar was crowded, and the servers were making their way through like the professionals they were. I wasn't a complete klutz, but I wasn't the most graceful person either. I had horrible flashes in my mind of dropping hot soup on someone, or accidentally stabbing a customer with a steak knife. I wasn't sure that waiting tables was my thing, but I told myself my options were limited. Pam swore the waitresses did well, and because I was her friend her brother would at least give me a chance. I was determined not to be a fuck up.

"Eric!" Pam screeched, and I looked over in time to see a guy that was male model pretty lift his head.

Holy fucking hell. Pam had mentioned her brother a few times, and I knew they weren't related by blood, but Jesus... she really needed to warn a bitch better from that point on because damn. He was gorgeous. Easily a foot taller than me, or so it seemed from where I was standing, and he had the prettiest blue eyes I'd ever seen. I felt the sudden urge to see if my tree climbing skills were still good.

"That's your brother?" I tugged on Pam's hand and nodded toward the guy who lifted his head.

"Not genetically, but not everyone's perfect," she smirked, and pulled me through the crowd to where Eric was standing.

"Pam, I don't have time for this shit right now. We have a full house here. Mooch later."

"Ugh, change your tampon, Eric. This is Sookie," Pam shoved me toward the bar. "Remember, I told you I was bringing her by tonight? Sookie, this is my pain in the ass step-brother, Eric. Eric, this is Sookie with the great tits. I'll be in the back."

I smiled nervously at Eric and said, "Well, at least it isn't just my life she likes to make miserable."

"Another blonde with a nice rack, huh? Can you actually wait tables, or will you spend all your time trying to fuck my bartender?" he asked with an arrogant smirk.

"Depends. Are you the bartender?" I asked brazenly, and felt my cheeks flush.

One of his eyebrows rose, and he gave a little chuckle. "No, but now I wish I was."

"It's probably for the best. I usually go for the tall, dark and handsome types," I said, and then realized I had just insulted him without really intending to. "Sorry, I didn't mean-"

"No, no," he interrupted me. "You want to fuck me too. You're just lucky, or not so lucky, that you're Pam's friend. I don't go there."

"I'm not one of those friends, just so we're clear, not that Pam hasn't tried to convince me to switch hit once in a while," I confessed, and then wondered where in the fuck my brain to mouth filter went. Luckily, Eric seemed to find me charming instead of mildly socially retarded.

"See? Now you're trying to get to me by informing me that you're not a lesbian. I'm sorry, Cookie, I'm not one of _those_ bosses," he winked.

"It's Sookie," I corrected him, just in case he hadn't heard her right the first time. "But it's good to know I don't have to worry about doing time on a casting couch."

"Sorry, I thought Pam said Cookie," he said genuinely. "That's why I assumed you were a lesbian. And you're right, there is no sexual harassment involved in being one of my waitresses."

"So what does it take to be one of your waitresses?" I leaned over the bar a little since it was hard to hear him over the music and the people talking around us.

"Can you carry a tray and be nice to customers?" he asked.

"You mean at the same time?" I tilted my head and twirled my hair like a dumb blonde, and got a smile out of him. Damn, he had a nice smile.

"You're hired if you can answer this one question," he said with that smile still on his kissable lips. "A customer says you brought them the wrong thing, even though you know 100% that it was right. What do you do?"

"Mentally, I curse them out for being an asshole, but verbally I apologize and bring them what they claimed they really asked for?" I said, and hoped it was the right answer.

"When can you start?" he asked.

"As soon as I get my brain to mouth filter working properly again. It seems to be on the fritz tonight," I admitted. "But I don't see why I can't have it in line by Monday."

"Good. Can you come by on Sunday for orientation?"

"Sure," I grinned. "What time?"

"Ten in the morning would be best. I'll get you to fill out some paperwork, get you a uniform, and have one of the waitresses show you around."

"Sounds great," I bounced a little and extended my hand to him. "It was very nice to meet you, Eric."

His large hand almost engulfed mine as he shook it. "Nice to meet you too. Oh, and Sookie?"

"Yes sir?"

I swear his eyes darkened a little when I said that, but he just smiled and said, "Try not to fix that brain to mouth filter. Your personality is refreshing."

"Thanks," I said, and realized his hand was still holding mine. I cleared my throat and started to take my hand back, even though I didn't really want to. "Well, I've taken up enough of your time for one night. I'll see you Sunday."

"I'll be here," he said.

I backed away from the bar and got swept into the crowd. I glanced over at the bar to see Eric's eyes were following me, and I looked away quickly before he saw me giggle or turn any redder than I already was. So far it was a good night... met a hot guy (who I'm pretty sure was flirting with me) and got a job. I was pretty sure Pam would find a way to ruin it.

* * *

**EPOV**

Watching my newest waitress walk away was just as awesome as watching her walk toward me. Out of most of the girls Pam brought me for jobs, this one was the hottest. She had my type written all over her. She was blonde, had amazing cleavage, filled out her hip hugging jeans like Penelope Cruz, and was wearing red, my favorite color.

I would have loved to fuck her, but there were now a couple of problems with that. First and foremost, she was now my employee, and no matter what, I never went there. You just couldn't come back from that, not to mention how dangerous it was in a legal sense. Secondly, she was Pam's friend. Lesbian or not, I had a rule not to ever go after a friend of Pam's.

There was only one way out of this. If Pam ever had a friend I wanted to fuck, I found a girl that looked like her, and got it out of my system. I would have to take a round on the dance floor for a curvy blonde, and would be crossing my fingers that I could find one wearing red.

About a half hour later, I did just that, and instead of finding a lookalike, I found the one I really wanted. Sookie was shaking her ass to Shakira, and it was fucking sexy. After a few moments of debating it in my head, I decided that she wasn't an employee yet, which meant I could at least dance with her. So that's just what I did.

"You again?" Sookie smiled, her head craned back so she could look me in my face. She'd ditched the denim jacket she'd had on earlier, and there was a lot of skin on display.

"Me again," I smiled down at her, and put my hands on her hips. God, they were glorious.

"You always get fresh with the help like this?" she asked, but didn't move my hands away.

"You're not technically the help yet, and I couldn't let you dance this well alone."

"I see," she smiled, and then turned around so her back was pressed against my chest.

"Why did you have to be Pam's friend?" I said in her ear.

"Because I drew the short stick," she deadpanned.

I threw my head back and laughed loudly, glad that the music was so loud. Sookie was definitely funnier than any of Pam's other friends.

"I think I like you," I said.

"Is that an uncommon occurrence?" she asked, and the sway of her hips against me... not good for the self-control.

"It's very rare that a woman can make me laugh genuinely. Especially when I have no plans to get into her pants."

"So no female friends, huh?" she guessed, and her hands started roaming over her body while she danced.

"Not at the moment," I said. "Unless you count my mother."

"Uh oh... you're a mama's boy? I knew there had to be something wrong with you," she shook her head and laughed quietly.

I laughed, and said, "I'm not a mama's boy in the sense that I still live at home and make her do my laundry, but in the sense that she raised me right and is the only woman I trust."

"That's fair," she nodded, and in a sincere tone continued, "I think that's good. Then again, I'm a daddy's girl, and have no problem admitting it, sooo..."

"Does your dad clean his shotgun when you bring boys home?"

"No, just his service revolver. Daddy's a cop," she winked at me.

"Ooooh, so you're totally a Daddy's girl. I see how that works."

"I'm not your average Daddy's girl though. He taught me how to fire a gun when I was thirteen just in case," she revealed, and my eyebrows raced for my hairline. "I was rocking a C cup by the time I was twelve. It was for my own safety."

"So these are definitely homegrown," I said, and brushed my knuckles against the side of one of her boobs.

She shimmied and said, "Shake what your mama gave ya."

"Mama gave you the good stuff."

She laughed and said, "They're just boobs. Actually, they're kind of a pain in the ass a lot of the time, if I'm being honest. I've thought about getting a reduction."

"Don't you dare!"

"Excuse me?" she stopped dancing, but she didn't seem offended.

"It would be a crime to reduce those," I said.

"I'm sure my chiropractor would agree with you," she snickered, and then started to back away from me. "I'm just going to go get some water. I'm all sweaty."

"Here, come with me," I said, and put my hand on the small of her back to lead her off the dance floor. She'd get water faster if she was with me.

"So, is that the bartender you were wondering if I would fuck earlier?" Sookie asked, pointing to James, the guy who fucked every waitress I ever hired.

"That he is," I nodded. "Unfortunately, I can't prevent the staff from fucking each other, so long as it doesn't happen at work."

"Good to know. He's kinda cute," she said, and walked toward the bar ahead of me.

"It's your STD," I shrugged once we were both standing at the bar.

She elbowed me and said, "That's not very nice. Besides, for all you know I do a high volume of guys. That doesn't mean I'm a disease ridden whore."

"If you do him, you will be disease ridden at least," I said, and signaled the man in question.

"Is that a warning or jealousy?" Sookie smirked, but didn't look up at me. She was too busy staring at James as he swaggered toward us.

"Call it a friendly warning," I said, and before James could say anything, I asked him for two bottles of water.

"Coming right up, boss," he reached into the cooler. "Who's your friend?" he glanced up and his eyes settled on Sookie's rack.

"Sookie Stackhouse," she said with a bright smile, and when she extended her hand to take the bottle of water James offered her, he kissed the back of it. Fucker.

"James, a little professionalism," I said sternly.

"Sorry, boss. This your girlfriend?" James asked.

"Whether she's my girlfriend or not, you shouldn't be kissing the hands of customers," I said. "But no, she's not. Sookie here is our new waitress."

"One of Pam's?" James asked cautiously.

"Yep," I nodded.

"Fuck," he muttered, and shook his head. "Are you Pam's girl?"

Sookie's eyes went wide and she said, "She wishes. She tried to give me a breast exam last month. I may have accidentally spilled cranberry juice on her Chanel bag. Woops."

"You ruined her Chanel?" I asked. I was impressed. "And you're still friends?"

"She doesn't know it was me. I did it when we were at a frat party so she thinks some stuck up sorority cunt did it," she grinned, obviously proud of herself.

"Oh Sookie," I laughed. "At the risk of sounding like Rick, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"Does this mean I should expect for you to start calling me Louie?"

I grinned appreciatively. I loved when a younger girl knew her classics. "Naw, I think Sookie is unique enough."

"Yeah, don't ask how I got that name. My brother's name is Jason," she rolled her eyes.

"Isn't Sookie some kind of nickname for Susannah?"

"How did you know that?" she grinned, clearly impressed with my knowledge.

"I picked it up somewhere," I said. "Could have been a book, or a TV show, I don't know."

"Well I'm impressed. Most people just assume my parents were stoner hippies," she said, and uncapped her water to take a drink.

"Weren't they?" I asked, teasingly.

"Daddy's a cop, remember?" she reminded me, and I took a drink of water at the wrong time. "That just means he got his pot from the evidence locker."

I totally snorted, and spewed water all over Sookie's awesome boobs.

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry," I said, and reached for a napkin at the bar to give to her.

"It's okay," she laughed, and mopped up the water. "I've had worse things on my chest."

"Oh?" I asked.

"Yep, and that's all the detail you're going to get," she said, and walked away from the bar.

I followed.

"Not even a hint?" I asked.

"Nope, not even a hint," she said, and slid into a booth that was vacant.

I slid in on the other side, and smiled. "Then I'll just assume it is what I think it is."

"What do you think it is?" she asked.

"I would tell you, but I have a sneaking suspicion you wouldn't confirm it if I was right."

"I might. You never know," she shrugged, and took another drink of her water.

"Alright. Obviously the first thing I pictured was something rather naughty, but I'm guessing the real answer is something like baby vomit."

She blushed and said, "Your first guess was a little more like it."

Color me surprised. "I'm surprised. And a little jealous."

"The story surrounding it isn't that great, believe me."

"By all means, share," I smiled.

"I don't think I've had nearly enough tequila to tell that particular story. Besides, aren't you sort of my boss? That would be crossing a pretty big line if I started talking about that part of my life too much."

"I'm not your boss yet," I grinned. "And I think, unfortunately, that you're a little too young to know what tequila tastes like."

"I'm a college student, Eric. Tasting things is like part of the job description."

"That's very true," I nodded. "But I'm going to put my boss hat on for a second."

"Oh?"

"First and foremost here, we follow the law. We card everyone. You will not let any of your college buddies drink underage, or you will be out on your ass. I won't tolerate it, and if I lose my liquor license... Let's just say you don't want to see me pissed off. There will also be no drinking on the job, or off the clock. If you're still working here when you turn twenty-one, you can come here and have a few drinks, but you are not going to get plastered here. Understood?"

"Yes sir," she nodded.

"Good," I said. "Boss hat is officially off again."

"You're a real hard ass," she smiled at me.

"I'm fair too," I grinned.

"And easy," she added.

"How so?"

"My entire job interview consisted of you staring at my boobs and asking me if I can carry a tray while being nice to customers," she laughed quietly.

"That's just because you're Pam's friend," I said, and then added, "and because you have a phenomenal rack."

"Get it out of your system, because come Sunday I can file a lawsuit," she threatened, but the smile on her face told me she wouldn't do that.

"Understood," I said, smiling as well. Finally, a friend of Pam's with a personality.

"Besides, don't you have a girlfriend that'll get pissed at you for being so... attentive, for lack of a better word?" she asked curiously, but didn't seem too much like she was fishing for information. I wasn't sure if I was happy about that or not.

"I don't do the girlfriend thing," I said. "So yes, I can be as attentive as I want."

"What does that mean, you don't do the girlfriend thing? Are you... no, never mind. That's none of my business," she waved her hand dismissively in front of herself and took a drink of her water.

"No, I'm not gay," I laughed. "I just don't like relationships. And while we're on the topic, I need to put my boss hat back on for a second."

"Okay, but I wasn't going to ask you if you're gay," she said.

"What were you going to ask?"

"Never mind," she laughed. "You were putting your boss hat on?"

I wondered if I should press her, but I decided not to. "I don't care if your boyfriends come in here, but there will be no PDA. They are to be treated like any other customer. You will also not give them free anything."

"Done and done, but I don't really see that as being a problem."

"Why is that?"

"Well, I'm seeing someone at the moment, but I wouldn't invite him to come and see me at work. He lives on campus, so it would be a little inconvenient. Besides, I don't really need that kind of distraction. When I'm working, I'm working," she shrugged.

"Good. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders."

"I'd like to think so, but I've got a lot to learn."

"I have a feeling you'll be fine," I said. "Anyone who can sneakily ruin Pam's Chanel is a smart cookie in my book."

"I also might have let Amelia's cat sleep on her Prada jacket," Sookie confessed with a sly grin on her face. "She doesn't know about that either."

I laughed so hard I almost snorted.

"You are officially my new best friend."

"See what I mean about being easy?" she shook her head, but was laughing along with me.

"I'm not usually. It must just be you."

"So, can I ask you a personal question?" Sookie asked after a few moments of silence passed between us.

"Sure," I nodded. I was very curious about what it would be.

"Pam didn't tell me how old you are, but you can't be more than twenty-five... how did you come to own a bar already?" she asked, and seemed a bit nervous about it.

No one had ever asked me that before, and I wasn't really sure how much to share with her. I decided to just give her a basic form of the truth.

"I had a little help from my father."

"So then this is a family business?"

"Not really. He just left me some money when he passed," I said.

"Oh," she said, and got that sympathetic look on her face. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, it's alright. It was ten years ago. I just wanted to do something that would make him proud, and I worked in a restaurant as a teenager and loved it. I wanted to own my own."

"Well, you didn't blow the money on something frivolous. You invested it in your future, which is more than most people would do. Obviously I didn't know your dad, but I would think he'd be proud of you. I mean, how many people own successful businesses in their early twenties?"

"Not many, that's for sure," I smiled. "I had to be a hardass to achieve it, but I'm proud of the result. And thank you, for what you said about my dad. It … it means a lot."

"I try to look for the good in everyone... the jury's still out on whether or not that's a good thing," she said, and I got the feeling there was a story behind that.

"You sound like you speak from experience."

"Long story short, Girl and Boy grew up together and fell in love, and then Boy moved away and broke Girl's heart. Girl spent way too much time nursing a broken heart while Boy was already married to someone else," she said.

"Ouch," I said. "If it helps, Boy sounds like a fucking idiot to break your heart."

"Yeah well," she shrugged, but turned her face to try and hide the tears pooling in her eyes.

I'm not totally sure what compelled me to do it, but I reached across the table and took her hand in mine.

"Really, he's a fucking idiot, and he's sure as hell not worth your tears."

Sookie nodded and quickly wiped her tears off her cheeks with her free hand. "I don't even know why I'm getting so upset. It's been a year since it happened," she blew out a deep breath. "First love... it's a bitch."

"You'll have a second love before you know it," I said, and pulled my hand back. "A guy would be stupid not to fall for you."

"That's sweet of you, Eric, but you don't really know-" she stopped mid-sentence and managed to dig a cell phone out of her pocket. "Shit, sorry, it's Pam," she apologized and then answered the call.

Knowing Pam, Sookie wouldn't get a chance to talk before the call ended. I was right.

"Pam's ready to go," she sighed, and started to scoot out of the booth. "I'd stick around, but she's my ride back to campus."

"It's alright," I said, and scooted out of the booth with her. "I'll walk you out."

"Just so Pam doesn't get the wrong idea," she said and then, much to my surprise, hugged me tightly. "Since you're not officially my boss yet, thanks for the dance, the water and the conversation."

I hugged her back in a way that I hope wasn't too awkward. I didn't get many hugs in general. But it did allow me to feel her boobs pressed up against me.

"Thank you, too," I said, then mentally kicked myself.

"For what?" she asked when she let go.

"All the same things," I chuckled. "I haven't had a decent conversation like that in a while. Or a dance like that."

"You're welcome," she said, and then her phone went off again. She groaned and rolled her eyes, but ignored the call. "I swear to God, her pink Louboutins are going to pay for this."

"Ha! I'm looking forward to seeing what you manage to do there," I said. "We better get out there before she scares off the customers."

"If you hear a shriek in the morning, assume that I was successful," Sookie said over her shoulder as she started to make her way through the crowd.

"I will," I said. "And I'll laugh my ass off."

Pam was waiting impatiently, toes tapping by the front door. "About fucking time. My clothes are about to go out of style," she looked us up and down before turning her eyes strictly to Sookie. "So did you have to blow him to get the job?"

"Nah, just a hand release in the bathroom," Sookie shrugged like it was no big deal.

"You're slipping, big brother," Pam smirked.

"Hey, her hand was magical," I said. "I have time to uncover the rest of her skills."

Sookie nudged me slightly and said, "He did warn me there would be an oral exam on Sunday before orientation, so I guess he'll find out then."

"I'm very much looking forward to that," I winked at her.

"Can we go now, Pam? My hand is all cramped up," she said, and flexed her hand dramatically.

"I'm just waiting for you two to finish up your little performance," Pam rolled her eyes.

"Oh calm your tits," I said. "Just be glad you brought me a girl with actual personality this time."

Pam snorted, looked at Sookie's chest and said, "Yeah, she's got great personality."

Sookie slapped Pam's shoulder, which was ballsy of her, and said, "Eyes up, Ravenscroft."

"Don't worry, Pammy. She called me out on it too."

Pam glowered and said, "Don't call me Pammy."

"Does that bother you, Pammy?"

"Fuck you," Pam said, and spun on her heel to leave.

Sookie laughed and gave me a wave as she followed Pam out. "See you Sunday, boss man."

"I'll be here," I nodded, and enjoyed the view one last time.

After they left I was more sure than ever that I needed to fuck Sookie out of my system. She was amazing. Beautiful, sexy, had actual personality and humor. Thankfully whoever I slept with wouldn't have to talk much because I knew they wouldn't live up to her.

I went back to the dance floor and scoped it out before finding a somewhat curvy blonde to dance with. She was wearing red too, and even though she wasn't nearly as hot as Sookie, she would do.

I made my way over to the bar, where she was standing with her friends, and asked her to dance.

"Sure," she smiled, and took my hand when I offered it.

I led her out to the dance floor, and let her set the allowance for me. There was nothing like assuming you could grab a girl's ass only to get slapped for it. She was definitely more than okay with it though, because she almost immediately turned and started grinding her ass in my crotch. It wasn't as nice as Sookie's, but it would do.

"What's your name?" I asked her, almost shouting over the music.

"Kimmy," she answered.

Yeah, her parents hated her.

"I'm Eric," I said. "I own the place."

"I know who you are," she smiled up at me. She had lipstick on one of her teeth.

"You wanna get out of here?" I asked.

"Lead the way," she said eagerly, and had no problem letting me pull her through the crowd.

She had to call her friends once we were outside, and didn't bother being quiet when she told them she was taking the owner back to her place. I resisted the urge to fake a kitchen emergency. She offered to let me drive her to her place, or to drive me, but I was smarter than that, and a couple minutes later I was following Kimmy to her place so I could pretend she was Sookie for a little while.

A couple hours later she was passed out on my arm, snoring. I managed to get out from under her and dressed without waking her, and left a note on her nightstand thanking her for the 'awesome' night before I left as quickly as possible.

By the time I was back home, showered, and in my own bed, I only had one thought on my mind; I really hoped Sookie did something absolutely awful to Pam's shoes.

* * *

**SPOV**

I wasn't really sure what to wear for orientation. Eric hadn't been specific about that, and Pam was at the apartment but I wasn't going to go in there and wake her up. She was still pouting over the broken heel on her favorite pair of Louboutins. I had no idea how it happened... scout's honor.

So since Eric had been wearing jeans and a t-shirt on Friday I figured he probably wasn't too big on formality, so I found another pair of low-rise jeans but paired it with a black Nirvana t-shirt and a pair of well-worn chucks. I threw my hair back into a knot, and just for the heck of it I wore glasses that had non-prescriptive lenses in them. I made sure I got my ass to the bar ten minutes before ten, and I was knocking on the door a minute after that.

The deadbolt on the door flipped over, and then Eric appeared. Shit, he still looked good. I had been hoping it was just the lighting in the bar, or a lack of sleep from pulling an all-nighter the night before I met him. No such luck. He was a fucking hottie... and now I worked for him.

"Hey," I said casually with a small wave.

"Early," he smiled, and looked me up and down. "I like that."

"It's one of my worst habits..." I said, and then lifted my bucket 'o Starbucks to my lips to take a drink.

"Good one to have," he said. "Come on in, and I'll get you started on some paperwork."

"Sweet," I said, and squeezed past him to get into the bar. "Wow... it's different when it's empty. Annnd I just realized how stupid that sounds. Sorry, I'm not completely awake yet and my coffee hasn't kicked in."

"Not stupid. I'm glad you're able to say that, actually," he said, and gestured for me to follow him. "If you couldn't it would mean we're not nearly busy enough."

"Good point," I smiled, and lost the battle with the yawn that wanted out. "I swear you're not boring me. I pulled three all-nighters this week, and not for fun reasons. I think it's starting to catch up to me."

"It's alright. Try to get some rest tonight. We stay pretty busy here through the week too."

"That's good to know," I followed him back to his office.

"Also, if you ever need me to cut back on your schedule due to school, just let me know. I'm really flexible about that stuff."

"Yeah, when Pam first mentioned this job I told her that I probably wouldn't be able to work on Tuesdays and she said that shouldn't be an issue. My classes are mostly in the early afternoon, except for Tuesdays and Thursdays, and Tuesdays I'm pretty much in school from sunrise to sunset and now I'm rambling. Jesus," I muttered, and had to wonder if I was rambling due to the lack of caffeine, or the fact that a hot guy was staring at me.

"It's alright," he chuckled. "Have a seat."

I wanted to flop down on the comfy looking couch, but I restrained myself and sat in the chair across from his desk instead. Eric went around to the other side of the desk and pulled a clipboard from one of the drawers that had the paperwork on it that he needed me to fill out.

"Need my driver's license and social security card, right?" I asked as I took the clipboard from him.

"Yep," he said. "I need to make a copy. And while you fill that out I'll write down your schedule availability."

"Good deal," I said, and balanced the clipboard on my thigh while I dug into my purse for my wallet so I could get him the identification stuff he needed.

Once it was handed over, he left the room to make the copies and I started filling out the paperwork between sips of coffee. It took me a minute to remember my phone number since I was giving him my cell number. I almost had to look it up on my phone. I was in the middle of debating over who my emergency contact should be when he came back into the office.

"Here you go," he said, and passed me back my cards. He went over to his desk and pulled a blank file folder out to put the copy in. "About how many hours are you needing a week?"

"What I need is probably like sixty. What I can actually work is probably more like twenty-five," I sighed, and sat back in my chair. "Being an adult did not look like this in the brochures."

"Yeah it's not as easy as our parents said," he smiled. "What would be the best days or nights for you?"

"I actually don't have class at all on Mondays, believe it or not. I don't know how I lucked out with that, so I can work anytime on Monday. Tuesdays are no good. Wednesday I can get here no earlier than five, but I have an early lab class on Thursday this semester, and then I have a later afternoon lecture that day so I could probably do lunch if you're open at that time of day. Then on Friday I can be here at three, and you can own me on weekends," I said, and took a big drink of coffee.

"Is that a promise?" he asked.

I almost choked on my coffee thanks to the expression on his face. It took me a moment to swallow properly. I was speechless so I just nodded. My mind raced in a couple of different directions, and rather than letting loose lips sink my ship, I decided to just button up for the time being.

"I'm just fucking with you, Sook," he chuckled. "I should probably stop though. I'm your boss now."

I cleared my throat and said, "Eric, is it okay if I call you that? I don't know your last name or I'd-"

"Northman," he said. "And it's okay if you call me Eric."

"Eric," I nodded and smiled, "I have a pretty thick skin most of the time, and I also have a brother that's five years older than me and he's never met a poop joke he didn't like. So barring you throw me down on your desk and molest me against my will, I'm pretty sure I can take whatever off-color comments you make. Just so we're clear."

"I'll remember that, thanks," he smiled. "But while we're around other employees, you're just one of them to me, though I think I'd like it if we could be friends."

"As long as you don't give me any special treatment," I winked at him, and then handed over the clipboard with the completed paperwork on it.

"Definitely not," he smiled.

"So..." I leaned forward and uncrossed my legs. "Did you hear the shriek yesterday morning?"

"I did," he said with a huge grin. "Care to explain that one? She was screaming so much I couldn't understand what she was saying and didn't dare ask."

"I don't know exactly how it happened since I wasn't there," I cleared my throat, and Eric chuckled. I wasn't fooling anyone and we both knew it. "But I heard that the heel was broken off of the pink Barbie Louboutins that Pam considers to be her prized possession."

"Oh my god, I want to worship you as my own personal goddess," he laughed. "That's fucking genius."

"She's been walking around my apartment with a veil over her face," I told him, and then pulled my cell phone from my pocket to show him a picture. "I mean seriously, they're just shoes."

"This does not surprise me," he said. "When we were kids, she held a funeral for her designer clothes that she outgrew. Then Mom dug them up and donated them to Goodwill."

"She's... I don't even know what word describes Pam accurately. I think one needs to be invented," I sighed, and put my phone back in my pocket.

"I would agree with that."

"I'll work on it," I promised.

"Sounds good. Now let's go over the uniform. We will provide you with the T-shirt, and I'll start you off with three. When you need a replacement, let me know. I don't make employees pay for them, so don't try to steal any."

"Don't be a klepto, check," I smiled.

"The rest of the uniform is darkwash jeans, but you can wear tasteful shorts in the summer if you choose. You need non-slip shoes, black. A belt is optional, but if you choose to tuck in your shirt, I would prefer if you had a belt on."

"Gotcha."

"I do have a cell phone policy, and it is to leave it in your locker or car while you are on the clock. The only exception is in cases of emergency, such as an ill family member. I'll show you your locker, but you'll need to purchase your own lock for it."

"Okay," I nodded. I had an old combination lock at my parents' house from my gym locker in high school that I could use for that.

"Alright then, follow me, and we'll get you set up," he said, and stood up. "And I'll have a schedule for you by tomorrow."

"Great," I smiled, and got up to follow him out of the office.

He led me to a storage closet first, and asked me my shirt size.

"Mmm... I think I medium should work. It's hard to say with these," I gestured to my chest, and even as the words were coming out of my mouth I could feel the heat creeping up my neck. I really needed to stop saying stuff like that.

"They shrink a bit the first time you wash them," he said. "So you may want to try one on to boob check it first."

"Good idea. Aren't you glad you told me not to fix that filter?" I said as he handed me a shirt.

"Very," he grinned. "There's an employee bathroom just down the hall to the left."

"Thanks," I said, and went down the hall to the bathroom.

The shirt fit, but it was a little on the tight side. I walked out of the bathroom and back to the closet where Eric was standing, leaned up against a bank of shelves.

"This fits, but it probably won't after I wash it," I said, and the guy who was lecturing the bartender Friday night about being professional was having a hard time practicing what he preached.

"Maybe you should wash it and wear it just for me," he smirked.

"You mean on weekends when you own me?" I retorted without missing a beat.

His eyes did that darkening thing again, and he seemed like he wanted to lick his lips, but resisted.

"I wish," he said, then turned around and handed me a large. "Try that on just to be sure."

"Yes sir," I said, and I swear he groaned.

I went back to the bathroom and tried on the large. It was loose on me everywhere but around the girls. Not that it wouldn't have been entertaining to watch Eric have a small stroke every time I walked into work, but I wanted to be comfortable while I was there. In the end, the large shirt won out, much to Eric's disappointment, I'm sure.

"Remind me to ask for a medium shirt before your birthday or something," I teased when I handed the medium back to him.

"Already planning for my birthday, huh?"

"I... wha... no, I..." Yeah, I was just that smooth. He totally got me.

"It's okay, I don't really celebrate it anyway."

"You don't? Why not? I love my birthday. You're going to laugh when I tell you why," I said, and figured I'd already made a total dork of myself with all the stammering so I didn't really have anything else to lose.

"Tell me why," he said.

"Okay, but you have to tell me why you don't celebrate yours, deal?" I asked, and he nodded his agreement. "I realize how incredibly cheesy it sounds, but I've always thought of my birthday as my own little New Year. Every year I tell myself that I'm going to do something new, or something that scares me... you know, take something off my bucket list. So yeah... that's it."

"Why would I laugh at that?" he asked. "It's admirable."

"Most people think it's stupid, but that's probably because I don't announce what my thing for that year is to everyone. It's just something I do for me," I shrugged.

"I like that. Maybe it's something I need to start doing."

"If you want... copycat," I stuck my tongue out at him. "So, come on... spill it."

He shrugged, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and said, "I don't know, really. I think it's because I forgot it was even my birthday when I turned nineteen until my mother called me. I hadn't done anything, no one else remembered to wish me a happy birthday, and I'm not saying that they should have, but it just … I don't know. Made it feel less special. I'd gone the whole day without feeling any different. It's just another day to me."

"You are so adorably Molly Ringwald right now," I smiled up at him, and his eyes narrowed.

"How so? Oh wait, _Sixteen Candles_?"

"Yes!" I grinned, but then reigned it in. "It's really... that's shitty that no one remembered. When's your birthday? I promise I won't forget."

"It's July 31st," he said. "But really, you don't have to remember it."

"Yes I do," I said, and grabbed two more black t-shirts from the pile of large ones. "So which locker is mine?"

"I'll show you," he said, and gestured for me to follow him again.

I followed him down the hall to another room that was lined with the same kind of lockers we'd had back in high school, and he gestured to a vacant one toward the back.

"This will be yours," he said. "You can keep your purse in here, or if you need to change here you can use it for that. The male employees have a separate room, so feel free to turn this room into a hot lesbian orgy porn scene. Just invite me to watch first."

I cringed and said, "With Pam around? I don't think so. She's also tried to convince me to let her do my bikini waxing."

Oh my God, why couldn't I shut the fuck up?

"Ew," he shuddered. "It would be hot if it wasn't my sister doing the waxing."

"I hate to burst your bubble, but there isn't really anything sexy about that process no matter who's doing it. But I promise if any half naked pillow fights break out in here, you'll be the first person I call to referee," I promised him.

"Does that mean you're waxed?" he asked, and wriggled his eyebrows at me.

I threw my head back and laughed because I should have seen that coming. When I stopped laughing I looked him dead in the eye and said, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Oh, I would," he said. "I would."

"See this is why you need a more extensive screening process before you hire a girl," I clucked my tongue and shook my head.

"Why the hell didn't I think of that?"

I shrugged and said, "Remember it for next time. Maybe put it right on the job application."

"Only if it's you applying again," he said.

From there he showed me around the restaurant, and I hadn't realized just how big the place really was with all the people packed into it two days before. After a while he left me with another one of the waitresses who briefly went over things with me. I hoped that wasn't all the training I was going to get because I really had no idea what I was doing. But then they were open for business and the waitress had to get back on the floor, so she dropped me off at Eric's office again.

"Knock, knock," I said from the open doorway. Eric was behind his desk, filling out some paperwork of his own, but he looked up when he heard my voice. "Sorry to bother you, but Amber had to get to work."

"It's alright, what can I do for you?"

"Nothing, really. I didn't know if there was anything else, I needed to get my sweater and my purse since I left them in here before," I said awkwardly, still standing in the doorway like a goon.

"Oh yeah, come on in," he said. "Did Amber get to show you the ropes?"

"Yeah, but I hope there's more training than that. I've never worked in a restaurant before," I admitted, and wondered why he never asked me that before.

"Oh that wasn't your training! Sorry, I should have told you that. It was just to kind of let you know a little of what to expect. When you get here tomorrow you'll basically be shadowing one of the girls for a few days before we send you off on your own."

"Oh thank God," I deflated a little with relief, and then went to grab my sweater.

"Feel better?" he asked.

"Yes, absolutely," I smiled, and slipped my arms back into the sleeves of my comfy old hoodie before grabbing my purse off the floor. "So when should I come back?"

"Can you be here thirty minutes before we open?"

"What time do you open, and which day?"

"Tomorrow. We open at 11."

"Yes, absolutely," I nodded, and slung my bag over my shoulder.

"Great. I'll see you then," he smiled.

"Okay. Thanks again, for everything," I said, and started to back up toward the door.

"You're welcome."

I flashed one more smile at him and then turned to go. At the last minute I paused in the doorway and glanced over my shoulder, having determined I was going to get him back for that comment about owning me on weekends earlier.

"Oh, and Eric?" I said innocently.

"Yes, Sookie?"

"Landing strip," I said with a smile, and then walked away.

I was a couple feet away from his door when I heard him call out, "Tease!"

I just cackled and kept on walking. Working for Eric was going to be all kinds of fun.

* * *

**No joke guys, while we were writing these outtakes we started to wonder how they managed to make it as long as they did without jumping each other. Obviously there was that one exception when they were drunk, but yeah... it just boggles the mind. So now you know how they met. I'll post another one of these puppies tomorrow. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Don't Look Back in Anger

Outtake: Don't Look Back in Anger

"Eric, you have to do something about her," Amber complained to me for probably the third time. "The customers are adapting. You can see that they're afraid she's going to spill something on them."

"Is it really that bad?" I asked. I knew it was. Sookie was an awful waitress. Just awful. But I really didn't want to have to fire her.

"Are you blind? How much money has she lost you in food alone by dropping trays?" she asked.

I sighed. "I know. I keep hoping she'll get better."

"Look, we can all appreciate her rack, and she's sweet as pie, and the old folks love her as much as the young guys, but she's a shit waitress."

"Alright. I'll … figure something out," I said, and she seemed satisfied with that and left.

One of the most important parts of being a boss was listening to your staff and really taking what they say into consideration. And Amber wasn't the first one to tell me Sookie wasn't working out. She was awesome with the dealing with customers part of the job, and always had a smile on her face when customers could see her. The kitchen staff loved her, except when they had to re-cook the food she'd just dropped. But I could understand why it was frustrating for the other wait staff to see someone not as great at the job stay on when they did it right.

I didn't want to fire her. Not at all. We'd become friends, and I really hoped that would stay the same if it came to me firing her. I went out to the restaurant just in time to see Sookie knock a glass of water on a customer while setting a plate down in front of them. I did my best not to laugh, but knew it was time. I had to put on my authority pants and let her go. I waited until her shift was over to approach her.

"Hey, Sook. Can you meet me in my office before you leave?" I asked.

"Sure thing," she smiled brightly at me. "Mind if I get changed first? I got steak sauce on my shirt a little while ago."

"Yeah, that's fine," I said. "I'll be in my office."

This was gonna be brutal.

* * *

**SPOV**

I changed clothes quickly after my shift. I was exhausted, and I had a shit ton of homework to get to when I got back to my apartment. Mostly I wanted to get the restaurant stink off me and curl up in my own bed. Too bad Kyle was such a self-absorbed jerk of a boyfriend, or I might have been able to get a much needed foot rub out of him. Asshole. I really just needed to break up with him already because that relationship just wasn't working for me.

Once I had my dirty shirt stuffed into my purse I pulled on my favorite old hoodie, took my hair down and headed for Eric's office. I wasn't worried about whatever it was he wanted to talk to me about. It wasn't really unusual for me to stop by on my way out anyway. What I presumed would be a quick five minute conversation had a tendency to turn into an hour. We probably shouldn't have been that friendly with each other since he was my boss, but he was easy to talk to and we made each other laugh.

When I got to his office I knocked on the door and waited for him to answer before walking in the way Pam would.

"Come on in," he called out.

I opened the door and stuck my head in so he would know it was me, and then I opened the door a little wider and leaned in the jamb in a casual way.

"What's up, boss?"

"Will you shut the door and come sit down please?" he asked.

"Uh oh... either I'm in trouble or you've got some super juicy Pam gossip," I smirked, but when Eric didn't smile back at me I knew option number one was the reason he'd asked me to stop by. I closed the door and sat down across from him instead of on the couch like I usually did when I stopped in there to hang out and bullshit with him.

"First of all, I want to tell you that I think you're a wonderful people person, and that you're very personable," he began. "But unfortunately, I don't think you're cut out to be a waitress, and I'm going to have to let you go."

I couldn't avoid being disappointed, or letting it show. I knew I was a disaster as a waitress. I was always spilling things, or knocking something over. I'd broken a ridiculous number of dishes and I knew I was pissing off the kitchen staff on a daily basis. Frankly, I was shocked Eric hadn't fired me sooner, and I figured it was mostly because we had become friends.

"Eric, it's okay," I sucked in a deep breath. "I'm ... you're right, I'm not cut out for this."

"I'm really sorry-"

"No, don't apologize! You have a business to run, and part of that means not letting me run it into the ground. Really, it's fine. I found out there's a research assistant position open that I might qualify for, and that would actually be better since it's something I could do on campus. And no, I'm not just making that up to make you feel better," I added that last bit in because I knew by the expression on his face that he felt guilty, even though he had no reason to.

"Well … if you need to file for unemployment, you won't have any complaints from my end."

"I should be okay, but I appreciate that," I smiled softly at him, and then started to get up to leave since it was just plain awkward between us.

"Wait," he said, stopping me.

"Yeah?" I turned back around to face him. "Oh, do you want your shirts back? I can bring them in when I come pick up my last check."

"That's fine," he said, then stood up. "Look, I just … Can we still be friends?"

"I didn't think you were firing me from that too," I winked.

"Want to meet up for breakfast tomorrow?" he asked.

"Sure," I nodded. "Where at?"

"That twenty-four hour diner you like?"

"Okay. I have class at eight so I probably won't be able to get there until close to eleven. Is that cool?"

"Yeah, that's awesome," he nodded. "Are you sure we're okay?"

"Yeah, we're cool," I waved him off. "This was going to happen sooner or later."

"Then can I give you a hug?"

"Yes, you can give me a hug," I laughed, and dropped my bag on the couch so I could give him a hug.

Eric came around from behind his desk and I wrapped my arms around him tightly. He was adorable for being worried that I would freak out and tell him to fuck off, but that wasn't going to happen. I knew better than to let our personal relationship be dictated by our working one. To me one wasn't fed by the other. They were two separate entities, despite how often they seemed to bleed together.

"Thanks for not being such a woman about this," he said.

I laughed and looked up at him so I could ask, "This wasn't just a ploy to get me to reapply so you could check my bikini wax, was it?"

"No, but now that I'm not your boss anymore, I might be able to convince you to let me see your boobs."

"Ha!" I laughed, and put an end to the hug. "You're just going to have to settle for feeling me up through hugs. Don't think I don't know that's why you want them."

"How dare you?" he asked. "I'm just a sensitive, hug-loving guy."

I coughed and said, "Bullshit," and then coughed again.

"Nice, Stackhouse," he laughed, and just like that, the awkward was gone.

"Well someone with a vagina has to give you grief around here besides Pam," I smirked, and he cringed. Hard.

"Sookie. Never, ever, use Pam and vagina in the same sentence."

"Even if that sentence is something like Pam is pissed because you saw my vagina and she didn't?"

"That, however, is the only instance in which it is okay," he smiled. "Now take off your pants."

I threw my head back and laughed. "I need a job, but not that bad, Eric."

"If only," he sighed. "But seriously, if you need a recommendation for anything, just let me know. Just, not waitressing."

"Good deal," I moved ninja quick to tickle his side, where I had discovered he giggle like a little girl if I touched him, and then quickly moved away to grab my bag while he recovered.

"You're evil."

"And you have a tickle spot," I scrunched my nose at him over my shoulder. "I have to go give James the news that my tatas are back on the market. I think he's going to be more devastated than you are to see them go."

Eric rolled his eyes. "I don't know what anyone sees in that guy."

"Me either, to be honest. I just flirt back because he makes my drinks quicker," I shrugged.

"Smart girl," he winked.

"It's kind of nice, actually, to know that if I was ever in the market for a cheap one night stand James wouldn't be a bad choice. A few of the girls have told me he's pretty good in bed," I told Eric, and there went those eyes of his getting narrow again.

"I would really hope that you'd be a bit more picky than Mr. STD."

I tilted my head, prepared to point out that Eric wasn't exactly Captain Celibacy, but decided it was a moot point.

"I'm breaking up with Kyle tonight," I decided to tell him instead.

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

"The short answer is that he's just not the right guy for me," I said, and dropped my purse on the couch before sitting down. So much for going home right away.

"And the long answer?"

"He seemed like a nice guy when we first started seeing each other, but as I've gotten to know him better I've realized he's really not that interesting or entertaining. I feel like I could have a better conversation with a cardboard cutout of you than I have with Kyle most of the time. And he's not that good of a kisser, which I know sounds kind of shallow, but those things add up over time because let's face it, if it's a long-term relationship kissing is going to factor in there somewhere. Oh, and I think he's jealous of you," I threw in that last bit, and that really got Eric's attention.

"And why might that be?" he asked, fighting a smirk.

"Because we hang out a lot and Kyle thinks you want to fuck me," I said honestly, and I knew for sure the first part was true. The second part... it was hard to tell sometimes if he was just yanking my chain, or if he just wanted me to think he was yanking my chain.

"Kyle's both a stupid and smart boy," he grinned.

"What does that mean?" I asked, and curled up a little on the couch so I was facing Eric more.

"It means that he's smart enough to know that I want to fuck you, and stupid enough to be jealous over it."

So Eric did want to sleep with me. Huh. I was going to have to think about that later because I really didn't want to have that talk just yet, and definitely not in his office where any number of people could walk in at any given time.

"I prefer people who show their true colors in the beginning. If you're going to stab me, do it in the front instead of my back," I shrugged, and stuffed my hands in my pockets since they were getting cold.

"Understandable," he nodded.

"Anyway, a relationship is supposed to be a bonus in life, you know? It should be a good thing that makes me happy instead of feeling like a weight around my neck. When it starts to feel like a drag, or like I would rather grate my toes with a cheese grater than spend time with my boyfriend, it's time to cut him loose."

"Ouch."

"Yeah," I sighed, and let my head roll to the side. "So why don't you do the girlfriend thing? You're a nice guy. You're funny, smart, have your own business... some cultures might consider you to be good looking..."

He snorted. "I just don't."

"No offense, Eric, but that's kinda lame," I told him. "Don't get me wrong, I don't think everyone has to be in a relationship in order to be happy with their life, but... I don't know, don't you ever feel like you're missing out on something?"

"Missing out? No. You can't miss what you've never really had," he said. "I guess I just don't feel the need to be in one."

"Fair enough," I nodded.

"What's so great about them anyway?"

"Well, if you're in a good one," I shifted a little on the couch, "It means having someone to share your life with. Someone you can tell your secrets to that you trust, and hopefully it's someone who accepts you for exactly who you are. It's nice to feel... wanted, connected, you know like you don't have to do it all alone?"

"But I feel all that with you, and you're just a friend," he said.

My breath caught at that. I didn't know what to say, or how to react so I slapped on an emergency smile since it was better than nothing.

"That's sweet of you, Eric," I patted his hand.

"See? You can have all that just being friends with someone. Why make it into a relationship?"

My smile started to falter, and thankfully there was a knock at the door that saved my ass from having to explain anything. Saved by the fucking bell, so to speak.

"Come in," Eric said, and the door opened to reveal one of the other waitresses who had a customer issue. "I'll be right there. Sook? See you tomorrow?"

"Absolutely. I'll call you when I'm getting out of class so you have time to do whatever it is you need to do before we meet up," I said, and got up off his couch. My feet were immediately whining. I wasn't going to miss standing for hours on end. "Want another hug before I go, Mr. Sensitive Hug-Lover?"

"Only if you really want to press your boobs against my manly chest," he grinned.

"Eh," I shrugged.

"Get over here," he smiled, and opened his arms.

I hugged him tightly and while we were standing there I quietly said, "Someday some girl is going to turn your world inside out and you won't even see it coming. When it happens, I really hope I'm there to see it."

"I doubt that," he said. "That it'll happen, not that you'll be there."

"We'll see," I said as I let him go, and reached for my bag. "I'll call you in the morning. Have a good night."

"You too, Sook."

He followed me out of his office and I paused to wave at him and one of the other waitresses before walking out of the bar for the first time as just another patron.

* * *

**Can I just say how much I personally love that line about the girl someday coming along and turning Eric's world inside out and neither of them knows that it's already happened? *le sigh* It makes the world reek of marshmallows. Unicorns skip when things like that happen, don't they? I should ask kjwrit and her Skarsicorn. Thanks for reading!**


	3. You Say it's Your Birthday

Outtake: You Say it's Your Birthday

I had promised Eric I wouldn't forget his birthday, and I didn't. At the time I made that promise he didn't really know me so I suppose he had no reason to think I would make good on it, but then we actually became friends in spite of my epic failing as a waitress. I never held it against him that he fired me. Truthfully, I thought we got along better once I wasn't working for him. What little restrictions we had put in place for the sake of appearing to be professionals when I was on the clock were gone.

Of course that meant he felt like he could sexually harass me at will, and without worry that I would sue him, but it was fine. Eric teased me like we were second graders, but I gave as good as I got. Only I tried not to get too sexual on him. I liked Eric a lot. We had become good friends. I liked hanging out with him. There was this level of comfort between us from the very beginning that I had never experienced with anyone else.

People asked all the time if he was my boyfriend and they were always shocked when I said he wasn't. Eric didn't do the relationship thing, and I supposed that was part of what prevented me from taking his flirtations too seriously. It was fine that he didn't do the relationship thing, but I did. That difference was pretty significant, and it was for that reason that we never went beyond flirting with each other.

It got a little confusing sometimes because there were definitely moments when he treated me like I was a girlfriend. I had become his "go-to" girl for a lot of things. When his mother called to tell him she was making him dinner for his birthday it wasn't to ask him to come over, but to tell him. I happened to be sitting there, and without asking me if I was free first, he told his mother he was bringing me along. I didn't mind it, really, but that was before I met Angela. I had seen her around the bar a couple of times, but I hadn't been formally introduced to her.

I was good at the meeting the parents thing. My friends' parents always adored me, thanks to having been raised with good manners and being taught to show respect for my elders. I was polite and knew how to keep my random brain in check. I gave Eric shit for committing me without asking, but only because it was rude. The dinner went well, and I got along famously with his mother. I think Eric actually regretted introducing us because it meant there were two women in his life urging him to not be so guarded all the time.

I tried not to give him too much shit about it. I wouldn't have said anything at all if it didn't seem like he was hiding from something. It wasn't like Eric was suffering from a lack of options. Pretty much every girl that came into the bar seemed to know who he was, although Eric was hard to miss and he wasn't shy about admitting the bar was his. A part of him, I thought, liked the attention that came along with it. He certainly didn't seem to mind reaping the benefits of it. True, flirting with customers was a way to keep the cash flowing, but that wasn't the whole reason why he flirted.

It was actually kind of amusing to watch the girls throw themselves at him. Eric was lucky enough to be in a position where he could be extremely picky, but his set of standards didn't seem to be very high. I had no idea how many girls he'd slept with, and it wasn't any of my business. I didn't talk to him about my sex life, for the most part, and I sure as hell didn't tell him about making out with James the week before Eric's twenty-third birthday.

Ultimately it was all Eric's business who he slept with. I didn't judge him for his choices. I wasn't Eric's girlfriend so I felt like I had no right to try and police his dick. Where he put it, or what he did with it was his choice, not mine.

The morning of Eric's birthday I woke up early, and with a plan. I had remembered his birthday not just because I had promised him I would, but because I had come to realize that ever since I met him that the hurt I'd felt over losing Alcide had disappeared. Without either of us knowing he was doing it, Eric had helped to heal my broken heart. I couldn't possibly repay him for that, but I could try. I got out of bed with a plan in mind, and went to the bathroom to start getting ready.

By that point I had been to Eric's house plenty of times. He didn't live too far from the bar, and his house was my ultimate destination. I showered, dressed and then headed out to get the things I needed. I stopped at a party store and got a bunch of red balloons, and then I stopped at a bakery near his house to pick up the cake I'd ordered. After that I was on my way to Eric's house. I let myself in with the code for the garage door, knowing he wouldn't hear it since he slept like the dead and his bedroom was at the other end of the house.

When I got inside I took the balloons to the kitchen and let them float up toward the ceiling so their red ribbon tails hung all over the room. I unboxed the cake and put it onto a platter to take it upstairs. Since Eric wasn't a coffee drinker I had picked up some chocolate milk for him instead, and poured it into a glass that I decorated with a goofy, bright orange crazy straw.

I grabbed the cake cutter and a pair of forks to add them to the tray I was planning to carry. My only worry was that when I got upstairs I would find Eric sleeping naked. I'd be lying if I said I never ogled his ass, but I didn't need to see all of his bits. His bedroom door was open, and I was also relieved to see that he was sleeping alone. He hadn't left the bar alone the night before, so there was always the chance I'd be intruding on something. Thankfully he had fallen into bed with a pair of boxer briefs on.

I breathed a sigh of relief and set the tray down on his dresser. It wasn't quite ten, but the day was wasting away and we weren't getting any younger. I kicked off my sandals and carefully climbed up onto Eric's bed. My brain suggested straddling him, but that didn't sound like a smart idea. Giving him a birthday fuck wasn't in the plan. Instead I sat on my feet with my legs folded under me, and reached over to tickle that spot on his side that made him squirm.

He shifted, but didn't wake up. I giggled silently and said, "Eric, wake up."

Waking him was going to be the hard part. He was a real grumpy gus when he first woke up, especially if someone else did the waking.

"Eric," I tried again when all I got was a grunt.

Finally, he cracked his eyes open slightly, and motioned for me to come closer. I leaned down slowly, careful to keep my hands to myself, since I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if he tried to tackle me or something.

"Closer," he grumbled.

I moved a little closer and didn't stop until we were nose to nose. "Close enough?"

I knew what he was going to do by the smile in his eyes only a split second before he did it, which didn't give me enough time to get away. He reached up suddenly, and pulled me down to lie next to him, wrapping both his arms around me and swinging a leg over mine. Bastard had me pinned against him.

"Go to sleep," he said.

I laughed quietly and said, "It's wake up time. We are not going to waste today laying around. Come on, get up." I tried to free myself but that just wasn't going to happen. Iron Grip Northman had me right where he wanted me.

"No. Early. Sleep."

"It's almost ten!" I argued.

"Late night."

"I saw. She had pretty hair," I said lamely.

"We didn't fuck," he sighed. "Bad kisser."

"Oooh that sucks," I patted his arm. "Well, I'm sure you'll figure out a way to make up for it later."

"I just want sleep right now," he said. "But you keep talking."

"Is that really how you want to spend your birthday?" I turned my head back as far as I could, but could only see a little of his face.

"Ten more minutes?"

"Fine," I sighed. "Let me up, and I'll come back in ten minutes."

"No, you sleep with me."

"Seriously?" I asked incredulously.

"Yep," he said. "I like to snuggle."

"Alright, ten minutes... but don't get used to this," I said, and turned my head back the way it belonged.

"Shhhh," he said.

I smiled and closed my eyes with the intention of cutting off his snuggles in ten minutes. Unfortunately my coffee hadn't kicked in, and the next thing I knew I was out cold. When I opened my eyes almost two hours had passed, and Eric was still wrapped around me like a drowning man clinging to a buoy.

"Eric," I scratched his arm lightly.

"Hmmwhat," he mumbled behind me.

"Time's up," I whispered.

"What time is it?"

"Almost noon," I said, and tried to shift a little since my side was getting numb.

He loosened his grip on me and said, "Shit, I have afternoon wood now."

I squeezed my eyes shut and wondered how I could unhear something, only I must have said it out loud because Eric answered me.

"You can't unhear it," he said, and I could tell he was smirking. "But you can take care of it for me."

I rolled over and pushed him, which made him laugh. "So not happening, Northman, but I will gladly leave the room so you can handle it yourself."

"Oh I'll take care of it in the shower," he said, and rolled out of bed.

I sat there wondering how long it would take him to figure out there was a birthday cake sitting on his dresser. Obviously it hadn't been there the night before. I also wondered how long it would take him to make a crack about me successfully carrying a tray without breaking anything.

He walked over to his dresser, pulled some clothes out of it, scratched his ass, then went to the bathroom. About three seconds later he came back out and looked right at the cake.

"You brought me cake?" he asked, a huge smile on his face.

"A cake is customary to commemorate a person's date of birth in many cultures," I said sarcastically.

"I haven't had birthday cake in years," he said. "Well, I've had other people's. But not one of my own. Can we eat some? Are there candles?"

"No candles. I didn't know how many were supposed to be on the cake," I confessed. We'd been friends for about six months and I still didn't know how old he was. "But I figured what inner child doesn't want to eat birthday cake in bed?"

"I'm twenty-three this year," he said. "Can we have it before I shower?"

"Sure," I smiled, and scooted back against his headboard. "That was why I brought it up here, but someone derailed my plan."

"Sorry," he said, still smiling. "Did you bring forks?"

"They should be by the cake cutter," I craned my neck, not that I could see from where I was sitting.

"Are you going to sing me Happy Birthday?" he asked as he went to pick up the cake and the two forks, leaving the cutter where it was.

"Only if you were hoping for hearing loss as a birthday present," I said as he climbed up onto his bed, and handed me one of the forks.

"Oh alright," he said, then stuck his fork into the cake and took a bite. "Mmmmm."

"It's marble with ganache between the layers. I restrained myself from going all chocolate, but I was tempted," I told him, and watched him take another bite, digging a little deeper that time.

"Dig in," he said. "We don't need plates."

I dug in and took a bite of the cake. "Damn, that's good," I rolled my eyes in a blissful way.

"This is probably the best birthday I've ever had."

"If that's true, then that's sad. You haven't even really gotten out of bed yet," I said, and took another bite of the cake. If he didn't want it to be gone when he got out of the shower he'd better hide it from me.

"And I'm not going to once we finish this cake. It'll be time for a nap."

"Oh no, you need a shower. You stink a little," I scrunched my nose at him.

"I do not!"

"Do too," I argued, and took another bite of the cake.

"Well I can't go now. You'll eat all my birthday cake. Plus the wood is gone."

"If only it had taken the stink with it," I smirked, but he took away the cake for it. "Hey!"

"Say you're sorry," he said.

"For what?" I scoffed.

"Okay fine, I'll just take my cake into the bathroom with me," he said, and started to get off the bed.

I rolled my eyes and said, "I'm sorry I said you're stinky," and then added under my breath, "even though it's true."

"Good enough," he said, and settled back in next to me.

"So what do you want to do today?" I asked as I crossed my legs at my ankles.

"I don't know," he shrugged.

"Pam wanted to throw you a surprise party tonight at the bar," I informed him. "She was going to hire you a stripper and everything."

"Ew. I hate strippers."

"You really would have hated this one," I said, and took another bite.

"Why's that?" he asked as he dug his fork in again.

"Because it was a dude," I said with a smile, and Eric's eyes narrowed. "Wasn't even close to being my idea," I couldn't help laughing a little.

"You told her not to, right?"

"I told Pam she could fuck right off with that."

"Good. And we're not going there today. If we do, I'll end up drinking, and you can't do that, and I'm not letting you babysit me, so we'll do something else."

"Okay... and there's something else you should know..." I trailed off.

"What's that?"

"Remember how Pam was bitching about the mystery bisque on her Ralph Lauren trench coat?"

"That's it," he said. "I fucking love you."

"You just love that I fearlessly torment Pam by damaging one article of clothing at a time," I laughed, and reached for more cake.

"I love that, and that you come up with these things and do them fearlessly," he said, and got another bite of cake on his fork. "You're awesome."

"Well thank you," I smiled. "I'm glad I amuse you."

"I'm glad too. Life was boring as shit before you came along."

"Oh come on, it couldn't have been that bad. You're twenty-three and you own a bar. That's pretty bad ass, Northman."

"Having things isn't shit unless you have someone to share them with."

"See, that's why you should have a girlfriend!" I nudged him, and he just rolled his eyes. "I'm serious! I know you think it's stupid but-"

"I don't think it's stupid, I just... I'm twenty-three, Sookie. I'm well off, I own my own business... I'm not going to find a woman that wants to settle down with me when everyone I've met just wants to settle down with my money or say they got to sleep with me. And frankly, I'm not really ready to settle down anyway."

"Well you don't have to get married," I shrugged. "And it's too bad I'm not in the market for a sugar daddy."

"You never will be," he said. "You're not that kind of girl. Much too good for me."

"What? Why would you say that?" I lowered my fork.

"It's not a big deal," he said. "I just think you're a good person, and you deserve a guy that wants what you want."

"Well thank you, but what does that have to do with me being too good for you, or for anyone, for that matter? I'm just... I'm just a girl. I don't think I'm anything too extraordinary."

"You don't see you through my eyes then."

"Ditto," I smiled, and then got off his bed to put my fork back on the tray.

"What, are you done?"

"Yep, the rest is all yours."

"Well I don't want to put myself into a sugar coma," he said, and held the cake out to me. "Will you put it in my fridge while I shower?"

"Yes sir," I said, and took the cake from him. "Oh, so I was thinking, if you didn't have any other plans, or things you wanted to do today we could go crash my parents' pool, but it's totally up to you."

"I'm all yours today," he said. "We can do whatever you want."

"No, no, no it's your birthday. You get to pick what we do," I insisted.

"How about we just drive around and see what we see?"

"If that's what you want, that's what we'll do," I nodded, and picked up the tray to take it downstairs. "Go shower so we can get out of here."

"Alright, alright," he grumbled, and headed for the bathroom.

I took the tray downstairs and put the cake back in its box, and then into the fridge. I rinsed the glass out that was still full of chocolate milk, and put it into the dishwasher. Eric's house was remarkably clean considering he was twenty-three-years-old and lived alone. My brother was a complete slob by anyone's standards, but next to Eric... Once I had everything back where it belonged I went out to the deck and sat on one of the chairs out there to wait for Eric. He found me out there ten minutes later, sunning myself.

"Alright, I'm up, I'm clean, and I have a sugar rush."

I got up and was relieved to see he was dressed for the hot summer weather.

"You haven't been in the kitchen yet, have you?" I smirked.

"No, why?"

"No reason," I shrugged, and skipped past him into the house. "Come on, let's go! Day's wastin'!"

"What did you do?"

"Nothing!" I said in a sing-song tone of voice, and looked over my shoulder in time to see him going into the kitchen.

"Oh my god!"

I just stood in the hallway leaned against the laundry room door and smiled.

"Are these helium?" he called out to me.

"No, they're lead!" I called back. "That's why they're floating."

The next thing I knew, Eric made a sucking noise, then started singing Happy Birthday sounding like a chipmunk. I burst out laughing and went to the kitchen to find him sitting on the counter with a balloon in his hand and a cheesy grin on his face.

"You're adorable," I shook my head, and he handed me the balloon.

"You do it too," he said, then laughed.

I rolled my eyes, but it was his birthday and I promised to do what he wanted, so I sucked in a breath's worth of helium and said, "Happy now?" in a fucked up voice.

"Sing with me!" he said. "Christmas, Christmas, time is here. Time for joy, and time for cheer."

"We've been good, but we can't last," I laughed, and he joined me in singing the rest of the song.

"Ahh, this is awesome," he said, his voice going back to normal.

"You're such a goof."

"Thanks," he sighed. "Let's save the rest of these for later."

"Good idea," I agreed, and let the rest of the helium out of the balloon.

We walked out to the garage, and I got into the passenger's seat of his car. Eric opened the garage and started the car. He backed out of the driveway slowly, and I reached over to turn on the radio.

"Alright, rules are, if you see anything that looks like fun, shout it out and we'll vote on it."

"No voting. You pick," I insisted.

"You're putting pressure on me."

"There's no pressure," I kicked off my sandals and put my feet up on the dashboard, which got me the hairy eyeball.

"Were you raised in a barn?"

"No, why?"

"You don't just put your feet on a man's dash."

"Why not? They're clean," I shrugged, and started to pull my hair back into a knot since the windows were down, and Eric had a lead foot.

He just rolled his eyes, and kept driving.

I put my feet down and said, "I'm sorry I put my feet on your dash."

"You can put them back up," he said. "I'd actually only be mad if you did it with your shoes still on."

"And scuff my shoes?" I huffed.

He snorted, then the car swerved as he said, "Oh my god, mini-golf!"

"Seriously? Mini-golf?" I asked as he parked the car.

"My birthday, my choice," he said. "Now get out so I can whoop your ass at it."

"Oh bring it on. I am a fucking mini-golf champ," I said, and put my shoes back on. "But I'll let you win since it's your birthday."

"Oh no you won't. If I don't win, then we'll have to come back on my next birthday. I'll have had a year to hone my mini-golf skills and to learn your weaknesses."

"I have no weakness," I said, and got out of the car.

"Everyone does."

"Not me... prepare to be owned."

"Ditto."

* * *

**EPOV**

"Oh. My. God."

I couldn't believe I'd never had funnel cake before. It was so simple, yet so, so good.

"Food of the gods, right?" she smiled, and pulled off another piece.

"And you just have this lying around?"

"Yep. Every once in a while I need a fix," she licked the powdered sugar off her fingers.

"Where can I buy some?" I asked.

"Pretty much any grocery store. I usually only have them at state fairs or carnivals, but sometimes I get impatient," she admitted, and reached for more but I was done sharing.

"No, no. Make your own."

She gasped and left her mouth hanging open. "You greedy little-"

"It's my birthday."

"Ugh, fine. You win," she grumbled, and started pouring batter into the pan for a second cake.

"Yes I do," I smiled. "It's my birthday."

"Whatever helps to unchap your ass after that spanking you got at the mini-golf course," she gloated.

"You're really going to keep rubbing that in? On my birthday?"

"Yes, I really am."

"You're not very nice."

"I brought you birthday cake in bed and I have now introduced you to the magic of funnel cake. I think I'm pretty freakin' awesome," she said, and turned her funnel cake over in the pan.

"Yeah, yeah," I grumbled, and took another bite of my cake. "You've given me a lot of cake today."

"You're complaining? You know, it's a shame you passed up on going to my parents' house earlier."

"Can't we still go?"

"I'll have to call and check with them. They weren't home earlier, but they are now."

"Oh, damn. I wanted to see you in a bikini."

"I've been wearing one all day," she smirked, and then turned so I could see the ties around her neck.

"You could still strip that dress off and show me the bikini," I grinned. "Or we could find a pool around here."

"I am not stripping for you," she laughed, and pulled her funnel cake from the oil.

"It was worth a shot."

"My complex has a pool though," she offered. "I only suggested my parents' house because there wouldn't be any little kids splashing around or screaming the whole time."

"We can tell your parents to go to the restaurant for supper on the house so we can use the pool."

"You really want to see this bikini, don't you?" Sookie pushed herself up onto the counter, and tore off a piece of her funnel cake.

"Of course I do," I snorted. "You're fucking hot."

She laughed and said, "Just when I think you're not the typical male."

"When the heck did you ever think I wasn't a typical male?"

Sookie set aside her plate and slid off the counter, and then sat across from me at the table. She had a serious look in her eyes.

"Quite frequently, actually, and while I was in Michigan camping with my parents I had a lot of time to think. I spent a lot of time on the beach just watching the water, and I thought about how different things are now from what they were a year ago. A year ago I didn't even want to get out of bed because I was so depressed about losing Alcide. I didn't think I would ever get over him, and while I was sitting on the beach I realized that all the hurt is gone. I have you to thank for that," she said with tears in her eyes. "You've been a really great friend, Eric. I'm really glad I met you."

I was shocked to say the least. There was no way I was expecting her to say something like that. I hardly knew what to do with a crying woman since I was never around them, so I just set my cake aside and went over to her and gave her a hug.

"I'm glad I met you too," I said. "And I'm glad I helped you, even though I didn't know that's what I was doing."

"I didn't either," she said with a smile. "But I think that's why it worked. You didn't have an agenda, maybe other than hoping to see me naked at some point."

"But not for sex. I hope you know that," I said. "I wouldn't use you like that."

"I know," she nodded, and wiped the couple of tears that had escaped her eyes off her cheeks.

"You know you're my best friend, right?" I asked.

"You may have mentioned that once or twice."

"Good, cause you are."

She smiled and said, "Well, I guess I'll call my parents and see if I can talk them into going out for dinner."

"Sounds good," I smiled back, and hugged her once more.

Sookie called her parents while I finished off the last of my funnel cake, and started eyeballing hers. She pushed her plate toward me while she talked. It took some convincing on her part, but her parents eventually gave in and agreed to go out.

"I get the stubbornness from somewhere," Sookie said when she hung up. "They also said to thank you for dinner, considering it's your birthday and all."

"Well I'm a generous guy, what can I say?"

"Are you sure that's what you want to do? We don't have to go hang out there if you don't want to," she said, and took another bite of her funnel cake.

"Oh it's what I want to do. I have to see you in a bikini before this day is over."

"Alright, if that's what you want," she sighed, and sat back in her chair. "I'm done with that if you want the rest."

"Thank you," I said, and quickly devoured the rest of her cake. "Do I have to wait a half hour before getting into the pool?"

"No, you don't, but we're probably going to need to stop back at your place to get your swim trunks since there's no skinny dipping allowed in Daddy's pool," she smirked, and got up to dispose of the used oil.

"That's fine," I nodded. "Are we leaving now?"

"Pretty much, unless you wanted to hang out here for a while?"

"I'd love to, but we probably shouldn't keep your parents waiting. Plus, I'd like to meet them."

"Okay, well then let's get going. I'm sure you'll catch them before we leave later on," she said, and grabbed her stuff off the counter.

We drove over to my house, and I ran in to get my trunks real quick. I smiled when I spotted the balloons in the kitchen. I was glad I'd met Sookie. She'd finally given me a memorable birthday. When I got back in the car, she had her bare feet up on the dash again. What bothered me was that it didn't annoy me as much as I thought it would.

"All set?" she asked.

"Yep," I smiled as I tossed my trunks in the back.

"Good. Then get on 90 and head east," she instructed.

"Yes, ma'am."

I followed her directions and it didn't take too long to get to her parents' house. Finding parking was a bit tricky since they lived across the street from a shopping mall, but we managed to get a space. The houses all looked pretty similar in that neighborhood, like they'd all been built at the same time during the 1940's. There was a short flight of steps leading up to the front door, and the metal railings on either side were painted red.

Sookie went in first and called out to her parents, but there was no answer.

"Guess they already left," she shrugged, and gestured for me to follow her through the living room and dining room, and into the kitchen. "This house is in serious need of rehabilitation. I hate the tiles on this floor. It's like staring at a giant checkerboard."

"I like it," I said. "It feels like a home."

"That it is," she sighed, and looked around. "There's a bathroom over there if you want to get changed," Sookie pointed to a door at the far end of the kitchen near the old stove.

"Thanks," I said. "And I'll call the restaurant while I'm in there so they know your parents aren't supposed to pay."

"Okay. I'll be outside by the pool. Just go through the addition back here. You'll see me through the windows when you're done," she smiled, and started toward the back door of the house.

I called the restaurant and got that squared away, then changed into my swimming trunks in the bathroom. After I was ready, I headed toward the windows and saw that she was pulling her dress off. My god. I wanted to worship her body. She was what I would consider the perfect woman. From her ample cleavage to her amazing ass, I would be lucky to spend just one night with her, but I would need so, so much more than that.

I tore my eyes away before I started a happy party in my swim trunks, and went outside to join her. And by join her, I mean cannonball into the water. I came up to see Sookie was sitting beside the pool with just her legs in the water.

"Not too cold for you?" she asked, and kicked her legs slowly.

"I love the cold," I said, and splashed some water up at her.

"You're such a little boy sometimes," she laughed, and then got up out of the water entirely.

"And? What's life worth if we can't act like kids?"

"Truth," she said, and disappeared into the garage. She re-emerged a minute later with an old transistor radio and a devious smile on her face.

"What's that?"

"Just a radio," she turned it on, and then tuned it in... to country music.

"It's. My. Birthday."

"Yes, I know," she said, and sat at the edge of the pool again, bouncing along with whatever god awful song was on the radio.

"Then why are you playing this crap?"

"Because I like it."

"But I don't."

"Are you throwing down a birthday veto?" she looked at me over the top of her aviators.

"Yes, yes I am."

"You're no fun," she sighed, and grabbed the radio. "So what do you want to listen to then?"

"Anything but country, and opera. And rap. Though I can appreciate a little Busta Rhymes."

"You like Busta Rhymes?" she asked incredulously, and then burst out laughing.

"What? He's good!"

"I'm not saying he isn't," she said when she stopped laughing. "It's just... I never would have guessed you were into that sort of stuff. You're so... so..."

"So..."

"I don't know... just not what I picture the average Busta Rhymes fan to look like."

"I wouldn't call myself a 'fan' really," I said. "I just liked that one song. Anyway, put the good shit on, and get in here with me."

"You're extra bossy on your birthday," she said, and tuned the radio in to classic rock instead. Much better.

"That's perfect. Now, let's see what you look like wet."

Sookie took off her sunglasses and pretty much threw herself off the side of the pool so she was in water up to her neck.

"I think I look the same," she smirked. Smart ass.

"I think you look even more fuckable," I grinned. "Now if I can just figure out how to accidentally get that top off."

"I don't think you could handle it, Northman," she said as she treaded water.

"I'm not sure I could either, to be honest," I said, and swam toward her. "You do have the best rack I've ever seen."

"Thank you," she said, and started to float on her back.

"Would you be opposed to being dunked?" I asked her as I continued to circle her like a shark.

"I don't really see what the difference would be at this point. Why?"

"Because," I said, and pounced.

"Eric!" she squeaked, but then we were underwater.

I released her as soon as we were under, but was very proud that I managed to cop a feel during. What I wasn't expecting was for Sookie to pounce right back at me as soon as she came up for air.

We went under again, and I felt her body, her sexy, wet skin, rub against mine, and when we came up, she was laughing, but I was feeling a little awkward.

"I'm a little disappointed, Northman. I thought you'd be a better water wrestler than that," she clucked her tongue at me, and adjusted the top of her bikini a little.

"I would have wrestled more if I didn't care about you thinking I was turned on by it."

"Oh," she said awkwardly, and then backed away from me a little.

"I can't help it," I smiled. "You're sexy, all wet in a bikini and I didn't get to take care of my morning wood."

"It's fine," she gave me a small smile, but continued to retreat to the wall of the pool.

"Oh Jesus," I rolled my eyes. "It's big, but it's not that big. Gimme a minute, it'll go away."

Sookie pushed herself up and out of the pool, and went to grab one of the towels on the wicker table a few feet away. She wrapped it around her waist, and sat down on one of the chairs, but she didn't say anything.

I swam to the edge, and asked, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," she tilted her face toward the sun. "Just got a little cold in the water, that's all."

"I'm calling bullshit."

"Eric, I'm really fine. I just got cold," she insisted.

"You're really going to lie to me on my birthday?" I said, hoping to guilt her into telling me the truth.

She looked like she was struggling with something for a few seconds before she finally lifted her head and said, "We're friends, right?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"I want to keep it that way, which is why I got out of the pool," she said.

"We wouldn't be friends if you stayed in?"

"Not if I'm going to keep turning you into a human sundial."

"Sookie," I sighed. "You have to look at it this way. I'm twenty-three. I still regularly get wood. I get wood when I'm watching The X-Files because Gillian Anderson is hot. I get wood looking at the Victoria's Secret catalog. Just because you're hot and occasionally give me wood doesn't mean I want to fuck up our friendship by having sex with you."

"Okay, but it's just awkward, don't you think? I don't want to make it worse, so I got out of the pool. It's not a big deal."

I snorted. "It's only awkward if you make it awkward."

"Look, I get that it's a physical response that you can't exactly control. I have a brother, remember? He turned twelve and a locked door became his best friend, so I get it. I'm just... I'm trying not to send out any mixed signals or anything. Does that make sense?"

"So what you're saying is, you don't want to have sex with me?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. We're friends, but that's as far as it goes."

"Ditto," I said. "I promise I don't want more than that."

"Okay," she said, and tilted her face toward the sun again.

"Now will you please get back in with me?"

"But it's nice and warm out here," she smiled up at the sun.

"All the more reason to cool off."

"I'll get back in when I get hot," she said, and stretched her legs out to cross them at her ankles.

"Oh fine," I sighed, and kicked off the wall of the pool to float on my back, wood long gone.

About ten minutes later Sookie dove back into the water and swam straight for me, and pushed up from under me, knocking me to the side.

"Hi," she grinned while I got my footing back.

"Hello there, buddy," I laughed. "Finally get hot enough?"

"Like a rotisserie chicken," she dipped her head back to wet her hair.

"You really have given me an awesome birthday, you know?"

"Good," she said. "I'm happy it's been a good day for you."

"I'm looking forward to my next birthday now."

"It's okay if you want the dude stripper next year," she teased. "I won't be offended."

"Ha! Not likely."

"But there's a chance?" she giggled.

"Only if he's really, really good looking."

"So don't let Pam pick, is that what you're telling me?"

"Yep."

"Deal," she smiled.

"Perfect."

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**


	4. In Da Club

Outtake: In Da Club

I wasn't expecting the sneak attack, but I should have been. Ever since that first birthday when I let myself into Eric's house to surprise him, we had taken turns waking each other up. Generally speaking it was in pleasant ways. There was no throwing cold water on each other, or rigging up some awful prank so we'd end up with a face full of shaving cream, or putting a hand in warm water so we'd wet our beds. But that morning Eric had opted for the option of playing the role of human blanket. The problem with that was that he weighed a damn ton and I was lying on my stomach with a full bladder.

"Ugh, Northman!" I tried to elbow him, and ended up getting tickled for it. That was so _not_ helping me.

"Happy birthday, Stackhouse," he smiled down at me.

"Thank you, now get off of me!" I squirmed under him, but that didn't seem to help.

"Not until you say that I'm the master of the world."

"Oh my God you're the master of everything, but if you don't get off of me you're going to find out what a golden shower feels like," I threatened.

"But I haven't given you your birthday spanking yet," he pouted.

"I'm two seconds away from peeing on you," I warned him and tried to push myself up, but that wasn't happening with 200 pounds of manchild on my back. "Seriously..."

"Oh alright," he said, and rolled off of me. "But spankings after you relieve yourself."

"Ha!" I laughed, and then slid out from under my covers to run for my bathroom. I didn't even care that I was only wearing boyshorts and a tank top at that point.

"Lookin' foxy on your big birthday!" Eric called out to me.

"Bite me!" I shouted back, and closed the bathroom door to the sound of his laughter.

Peeing had never felt so good in my life. When I was done I brushed my teeth and pulled my hair up into a ponytail before going back to my bedroom. Eric appeared to be serious about that whole spanking thing since he was sitting on the edge of my bed and patted his knee.

"Oh I don't think so, perv," I rolled my eyes.

"Perv? This is a time-honored birthday tradition."

"So is someone buying a newly minted twenty-one-year-old a drink, and Pam beat you to it," I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Well Pam didn't get you drunk, and that's what I'm going to do."

"So I've been told repeatedly," I sighed, and flopped onto my bed. "Did you really have to wake me up this early?"

"Yes, yes I did," he smiled. "We need to start having fun you might remember tomorrow."

"It better include either going back to sleep for a couple of hours or a metric fuck ton of coffee, or I am not going to be amused," I warned him.

"You want to nap?" he asked. "We can nap. I won't be like you on my birthday and fight you on it."

"Okay, in my defense, I had never slept in your bed before, and we sure as shit had never snuggled so it was weird. Now I know where you stand on that and it's not so weird," I explained.

"Plus, I already dealt with my morning wood situation before I came over here."

"Ugh, gross. I don't want to hear about any withdrawals from your spank bank," I cringed next to him. It was like hearing my brother talk about jerking off. I just... no.

"Clearly you don't understand how hard it is to take a morning piss with a hard-on. We just have to take care of it. And for your information, even though you don't want to know, it was to the new Playboy."

"I'm very happy for you," I said, although I know my face clearly showed my disgust.

"No you're not, liar."

"Do you want to hear stories about me... never mind," I stopped myself. I knew what he answer would be.

He grinned. "Yes, yes I do. Please tell me."

"So not happening," I said as my cheeks flushed, so at least he knew there were stories to tell. "Now either cork it, or go away so I can go back to sleep."

"Oh fine, I'll shut up. Now snuggle me."

"Jesus, you're bossy on my birthday," I turned on my side and pulled the ponytail out of my hair.

"Just returning the favor," he smiled.

I gasped and said, "I am not bossy on your birthday!"

That was going to change in a couple of weeks, though. I'd be a damn drill sergeant if he wasn't careful.

"You were a little bossy."

"You are such a liar!" I argued. "I just wanted you to get up and not be a slug all day. Besides, I seem to recall you weren't complaining once I was in a bikini and soaking wet."

"No, no I was not," he grinned. "Let's do something today that requires you to be in a bikini."

"Nope, not happening. I am going to spend the day relaxing. Besides, you haven't seen the dress I bought for later," I smirked, and closed my eyes.

"Relaxing? I thought we weren't allowed to be slugs on our birthdays."

"That was when we couldn't go out drinking together, but today that's all different," I pointed out. "My big plan for the day was to give myself a pedicure," I tell him, and Eric looks slightly horrified. "Oh, I'm sorry... did you want one, too?"

"You suck," he frowned. "Fine though, it's your birthday. I say we nap, then I'll order pizza and you can do that pedicure thing while we watch TV."

"Fine, but you're leaving at 4:00, even if I have to kick you out," I told him.

"Why?"

"Because I need to get ready for tonight, and I don't need you offering to help zipper my dress," I rolled my eyes.

"But I'm already ready, and we're spending the whole day together."

"Nope, you're out of here at four," I argued. "I'll meet you at your house when I'm ready."

"I can just watch TV while you get ready."

"Why are you being so stubborn about this?" I glared at him.

"Because I want to spend the whole day with you. I don't see why it's a big deal if I'm here while you get ready."

"Eric, you're going to have plenty of time with me. Besides, Amelia and Pam are going to be here too, and it's just going to be really crowded. Not to mention, Pam has a tendency to walk around the apartment naked. Do you really want to see that?"

"Why do they have to be here? I thought it was just going to be me and you today."

"Amelia lives here!" I reminded him in exasperation. "And I never said it would just be the two of us. God, you're being a big baby right now."

"Fine, let's just nap then."

"Ugh, are you going to pout all damn day over this, because if you are, you can just go home now," I said, not at all in the mood for his bullshit.

"No, I'm fine. I just imagined today going a little different. I did wake up early, you know. I probably just need a nap."

I was curious as to what he had imagined the day was going to be like, but rather than arguing further with him (a common side effect when both of us were tired) I flipped over onto my other side so my back was to Eric.

"Don't be offended if I put a pillow over my head. I need new curtains in here," I sighed, and tried to get myself situated so the light wouldn't bother me but I wouldn't be smothering Eric either.

"Why don't I lay on the side with the windows, and you can just bury your face in my chest," he said. "I've got to have these broad pecs for a reason."

I snorted and said, "Nah, I'm good right here, Captain Modesty."

"Alright then," he sighed. "Good night, birthday girl."

"Sweet dreams," I yawned, and snuggled into my pillow a little more before dropping off into sleep.

I woke up a couple of hours later with Eric wrapped around me, and carefully wiggled out of his grasp to let him keep on sleeping. I had no idea what his issue was, but he was being extra clingy with me for some reason. I got up and went to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee, and then turned on the TV to see what was going on in the rest of the world. Since I had no idea how long Eric was going to be passed out for and I was starving, I poured myself a bowl of cereal and sat down on the couch to eat it.

I was a dozen bites into my Cocoa Pebbles when Eric emerged from my bedroom with a scowl on his face.

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Because you were sleeping," I shrugged, and took another bite of my cereal. "I've only been up for about twenty minutes."

He came over and sat next to me, then sighed, but didn't say anything.

"Okay," I reached for the remote and muted the TV. "What's your problem?"

"Do you ever imagine how something is going to go, a conversation, or someone's reaction to good news, and then when it happens, it's nothing like you imagined?"

"Of course," I said casually, and took another bite of my cereal.

"That's what's happening to me right now."

"Well what did you think was going to happen today?" I asked him, putting my feet up on the coffee table.

"I just thought we'd spend the whole day together, like we did on my birthday."

"Eric, we're talking about two hours and that's it. It's not that big of a deal," I said, not understanding what the problem was.

"I know, it just feels weird," he shrugged. "But it's your birthday, so it's whatever you want."

"Are you going to be grouchy all day?" I asked him, yet again, because I really didn't want to deal with him if he was just going to spend the day pouting over a two hour separation.

"No, but I am hungry. I thought we were ordering pizza."

"We still can. These Cocoa Pebbles are just an appetizer. I didn't know how long you were going to sleep for and I didn't want to wake you," I shrugged.

"Alright then," he said, and pulled out his phone. "What would you like on the pizza today?"

"Where are you ordering from?" I asked, since that would determine my topping choices.

"Alfredo's Pizza Cafe," he said.

"Then I think we should get the house special," I grinned, since the house special was a chicken Alfredo pizza.

"Done," he said, and dialed the number.

Eric ordered the pizza, and I went to get in the shower before Amelia and Pam showed up so we weren't all competing for the bathroom at the same time. When I got out I threw on a tube top sundress and found Eric still parked on my couch watching Cartoon Network.

"I forget what a seven-year-old trapped in a man's body you are sometimes," I snickered, and retrieved a Dr. Pepper from my fridge. "Want one?"

"Yes please," he said. "And I'm more like a ten-year old than seven."

"Nah, ten-year-olds don't want to snuggle," I smirked, and handed him a soda.

"Touche."

I set my soda down on the coffee table, and then went back to my bedroom to get the glittery red nail polish I'd bought to match my dress later. When I got back to the living room I sat on the couch, carefully propped my foot up on the table and shook the bottle of polish.

"Just so you know, I'm wearing red later," I warned him.

"Oh really?" he smirked. "Surely not just for my benefit."

"Not at all for your benefit. The dress just happens to make my ass look good," I said, and started painting my toes.

"Then it's totally for my benefit, even if unintentional."

I laughed and kept on painting. It had to be boring for Eric to sit there and watch while I painted my toenails, but it was his idea to spend the night getting wasted and I intended to look good doing it, if only for a little while. I had just finished the second coat on my toes when the pizza arrived, and Eric got up to answer the door. I closed the bottle of polish and got up to get plates for us since chicken Alfredo pizza was way too messy not to eat with a fork, at least for me.

"Oh my God, I think I just had a foodgasm," I said when Eric set down the pizza box on the kitchen table.

"You haven't even tasted it yet," he chuckled.

"Oh, but I've had it before and I know how amazing it is," I said as I opened the box. "Hello, lover," I purred at the pizza.

Eric rolled his eyes at me. "Women."

"Shhh... don't listen to him, baby, he's just jealous of you," I said, and petted the crust a little before plucking a slice from the box and putting it on my plate.

"You just pet a pizza, Sook."

"So?" I asked with my mouth full.

"Just sayin'."

I didn't even care. The pizza was delicious. He could judge all he wanted and it wouldn't change that one bit.

"Thank you for lunch," I smiled at Eric, still talking with my mouth full. My mother would have been so proud.

"You're welcome," he smiled, and put a piece of pizza on his plate.

**oOoOoOo**

I looked pretty damn good if I do say so myself. Finding the dress I ultimately bought had taken some searching, but it was perfect. It was red, strapless and hugged me perfectly. It was a dress made for a girl with curves, and I had them in spades. My favorite part was my shoes. Black strappy sandals with a five inch heel and red peony attached to the strap near my toes that matched the red in my dress perfectly. I got out of my car and strutted my stuff to Eric's front door.

I had a bag with me for the next day since I was pretty sure I was going to feel like shit in the morning, and if I happened to puke on my dress I'd have something else to wear. I didn't bother ringing the doorbell. Eric and I had long ago given up on those types of formalities, and so I let myself into his house and called out to him.

"Northman?" I shouted, and dropped my bag by the foot of the stairs.

"Upstairs!" he called back.

"If you're naked I'm not coming up there!" I shouted, still standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Why not?" he shouted.

"Because I don't need to see that!"

"Yes you do!"

"No, I really don't!"

"Just get your ass up here, I'm not naked!"

I slowly climbed the stairs, hoping he was being straight with me. Just in case he wasn't, I covered my eyes with one hand and peeked between my fingers. "Where are you?" I called once I got to the second floor.

"My office," he called.

I walked down the hall with my hand still over my eyes just in case. I knew I got to the right doorway when he started laughing.

"You can uncover your eyes, Sook, I'm really not naked. I was just fucking with you."

"Yeah, I was just being safe," I said, and uncovered my eyes. "For all I know you were watching porn up here to pass the time."

I stepped into his office and his eyes were glued to me. He looked me up and down, then noticeable swallowed and shifted in his chair.

"I don't watch much porn, and not usually in the middle of the day when I'm expecting someone to come over."

"Good to know. So what are you doing then?" I asked, and walked around behind his desk to snoop.

"Bars," he grinned, and gestured to the computer. "Looking for the one that has the best deal on bucket drinks."

"Why don't we just go to your bar?" I asked, and sat on the edge of his desk.

"We'll end up there eventually."

"Gotcha," I nodded. "Find anything good so far?"

"Yup, and we're going to go see if you get carded."

"I'm sure I will. Most places have to scan the barcode on the back of your license now."

"That's why we're going to a dive bar first," he smiled.

"I'm following your lead," I shrugged. "Your job is to play my personal bodyguard and keep scumbags from trying to rape me on the dance floor."

"Don't worry about that. I'm all over it."

"I know you are," I patted his shoulder. "So where should I tell Pam and Amelia to meet us?"

"At my bar, later."

"You got it," I nodded, and pulled out my phone to send Amelia a text to let her know what was going on. No doubt she was going to be pissed that Eric was keeping me to himself for a couple of hours, but she knew about our little birthday tradition.

"Until then, you're all mine."

"Yes I am."

He got up, and opened his arms. "Happy birthday, best friend."

"Thanks, buddy," I hugged him tightly. "So, are we going now?"

"Just after you do a circle in that sexy scrap of fabric you're wearing."

"This old thing?" I smirked, and backed up to turn around for him.

"You sure you didn't dress for me?"

"I'm sure. I think you just got lucky," I said as I turned to face him again. "Besides, it's just a dress," I shrugged.

"That is not just a dress," he said.

"Oh really?"

"It's... well, it's something."

I snickered and said, "Come on, Northman, let's get going before something in your brain explodes."

"Yeah yeah..."

Eric followed me downstairs, and we headed for his garage. Twenty minutes later we were pulling up to dive bar I'd never seen before, and I was very clearly overdressed compared to the regulars that were already inside, but I did get carded when I tried to order a drink. Then when I tried to pay for said drink, I got the stink eye from Eric.

"You're not paying for anything, it's your birthday."

"Thank you," I said, rather than arguing with him. We'd already done enough of that for one day.

"You're welcome," he smiled, and paid for our drinks. He was just having soda since he was my sober protector all night.

"You know, if I would have known we were going to a dive bar first I would have worn jeans instead of this," I said while we looked for a table.

"We're only here for first drinks," he said. "Every new twenty-one year old should have their first drinks in a dive bar."

"That isn't a rule I was aware of."

"It's my rule," he smiled. "I take all my twenty-one year olds here."

I laughed and said, "So just me then."

"Yeah, just you," he laughed.

"Well, here's to getting so fucked up tonight that you'll have to tell me all about it tomorrow," I said, and raised my glass.

"Cheers," he smiled.

I took a sip of my appletini, which was delicious, and said, "You know, I don't really see what the big deal is about getting drunk. I've done it a couple of times... it's not really that great."

"You'll see by the end of the night."

"You're just hoping that I get so drunk I get naked," I smirked, and took another drink.

"Believe it or not, I don't always want to see you naked."

"Uh huh," I nodded along, knowing that was total bullshit. It was a guy thing that I had accepted a long time ago.

"I'm serious!" he laughed. "Tonight, I just want you to have fun."

"Me too," I smiled back at him.

I finished my first drink a short time later, and that was when Eric decided it was time to call in the bigger guns since I was warmed up.

"Oh, this could be dangerous," I said when he came back to the table with Patron shots, a salt shaker and some lime wedges. "Are you taking one with me?"

"Just one."

"Good," I said, and followed his instructions on how to take the shot. "You know, any drink that comes with instructions is probably trouble."

"But you're going to love it," he smiled. "You ready?"

"Yep," I said, slightly nervously with my shot in one hand and a lime wedge in the other.

I followed his instructions, and licked the salt off my hand, slammed back the shot and immediately stuck the lime wedge in my mouth to get rid of the awful taste of the tequila.

"Ugh, that was..." I didn't even have words.

"Give it a second," he smiled.

About two minutes later I felt my face flush, and I was pretty sure I was as red as my dress.

"Okay, there's no way I'm taking two more of those," I said, staring at the tray he'd brought back with him.

"Yes you are," he smiled.

"Dude, do you want me to be wasted by the time we get to your bar?" I snickered, and contemplated going to the bar to get a glass of water.

"Fine, I'll do one more," he said.

"Good," I said, and resalted my hand.

"Ready?"

I sighed and said, "Let's get this over with."

I grabbed another lime wedge from the tray along with one of the shots, licked the salt off my hand, tossed back the shot and sucked on the lime wedge. The face I made had Eric laughing.

"Ugh, this is so gross," I groaned.

"It's okay, you don't have to do any more of those. We're going to another bar to dance, then back to mine."

"Lead the way," I said, since I figured we were done at the first location.

By the time we got to bar number two I was definitely buzzed, and well on my way to drunk after a kamikaze shot. When Eric yet again wished me a happy birthday, a small crowd of frat guys overheard and ended up buying me a drink. It was nice of them, and I accepted it only because they were so insistent. It was fine until one of them followed me to the dance floor while Eric made a quick trip to the bathroom.

His name was Shane and he was studying marketing at some school nearby. He wasn't a bad dancer, but then he started to get a little too close to me for someone I'd just met.

"Is that tall guy you're with your boyfriend?" he asked me.

"No, just a friend," I said, and figured out pretty quickly that I should have lied since Shane decided to capitalize on that information, and tightened his grip on my hips.

I was subtly trying to separate myself from him when Eric found me, and stared at Shane with an obvious 'back the fuck up' look on his face.

"Are you ready to go, Sookie?" he asked me while still glaring at Shane.

"I thought you wanted to dance?" I looked back over my shoulder at him.

"Don't go yet," Shane leaned into me.

"Back off, asshole," Eric said, and pushed Shane's shoulder.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Shane glared at Eric, and I put my hands up to keep the two of them separated.

"Boys, boys, let's all play nice," I smiled, looking from one to the other. "Shane, thank you for the dance and the drink, but I'm here with Eric."

"You said he isn't your boyfriend," Shane reminded me.

"He's not, but that doesn't mean I'm going to ditch him," I scoffed.

"Let's go," Eric said.

"It was nice meeting you, Shane," I waved.

"Sookie, hang on, can I at least get your number?" Shane started to follow us.

I took a couple of seconds to consider it before I said, "Sure."

"What the hell?" Eric said.

"Why don't you back off?" Shane looked at Eric, and I was amazed there were no punches thrown.

"Because I promised her to keep assholes away from her tonight, and when I walked up she didn't look very comfortable with you. You're a dick, and you don't deserve her number."

"Eric, it's fine," I turned and patted his chest. "Shane, give me your phone so I can put my number in it."

Shane smiled victoriously while I'm sure Eric was glowering away behind me. I entered a number into Shane's phone and handed it back to him.

"Happy birthday, Sookie," he leaned forward and kissed my cheek, which I'm sure had Eric ready to stab a kitten.

"Thanks," I said, and then let Eric pull me outside. "Just so you know, I gave him a fake number."

It took him a second to let his anger mellow out so he could smile at me. "Really?"

"Well, it wasn't a fake number, but the only one that came to mind was the Empire Carpet number," I giggled, and started to sing it.

"Two three hundred, Empiiiiire," Eric finished with me, then laughed.

"Swear to God that guy would have dragged me into a dark corner if I would have let him," I said, stumbling toward Eric's car.

"I'm glad you recognized that. I was kinda pissed when I thought you gave him your number."

"I noticed," I snorted.

"You'll do a lot of things you'll regret tonight, I'm sure."

"Does that mean I should go back and find Shane?" I asked as Eric opened the car door for me.

"Get in the car," he glared.

I giggled and awkwardly folded myself into the front seat, and leaned over to unlock Eric's door for him. When he got in the car he started the engine and looked over at me, his eyes locked on my chest. I looked down to see my dress had come down a little bit too much.

"Oops," I giggled, and tugged it back into place.

"That dress is dangerous," he said.

"Yeah, but it's easy to lose when I need to," I giggled some more, and rested my head against the back of the seat. "I could use a nap right about now."

I was warm and everything felt like it was spinning. It was safe to say I was drunk by that point, but I knew Eric wasn't finished with me yet. We had at least one more stop to make before I got to go home and sleep it off.

"No napping," he said. "And no losing that dress tonight until you're back at my place."

"I knew you just wanted to see me naked," I rolled my head to the side. "It's okay, you know. I look pretty good naked."

"I'm sure you do," he smiled. "But I'm not letting you do anything even close to a one-night stand tonight. You'd never forgive me."

"So if I try to fuck you later, you'd say no?" I smiled at him.

"Yes," he said, rather tensely.

"You're a good friend, Northman," I closed my eyes and absently patted his leg.

"It's why I'm your favorite," he said.

"That's true," I agreed, and reached to turn on the radio so I wouldn't fall asleep in the car.

I don't know how long it took to get to Eric's bar, but I do know he practically had to carry me inside when we got there. I was giggling over nothing, and stumbling all over the place when we walked. He deposited me in a booth where Pam and Amelia were already sitting, and I did the silly, girly squealing thing when I saw them. I hugged each of them tightly, and didn't even say anything when Pam shamelessly tried to cop a feel. Eric, however, was none too happy.

"How many drinks have you had, Sookie?" Pam asked me.

"Plenty," I gave her a sloppy smile. "Eric gave me tequila."

"She's already drunk," Eric smiled proudly.

"You think?" Pam snarked. "She let me feel her tits."

"Pam!" I admonished, but then giggled some more.

"Told ya."

"You wanna feel?" I turned toward Eric.

"Yes please," he said, and reached his hands out.

I stuck my chest out and my boobs were almost immediately covered by Eric's enormous paws.

"Wow, they're much more firm than I thought they'd be," he grinned.

I gasped and said, "You thought I'd have mushy boobs!"

"Well they are quite large."

I looked down and said, "I sometimes think about getting them smaller."

Amelia snorted beside me while Eric and Pam both said, "No!" at the same time.

"That's like, sin."

"Sook, I think you need another drink," Amelia slid out of the booth. "Come with me," she held her hand out.

"I want to dance," I said as I slid out of the booth and took her hand. "Eric made me leave the last place because I danced with another guy who wanted my number."

"I made you leave because the guy was making you uncomfortable," Eric argued.

"Yeah, but you didn't like him anyway," I waved him off, and leaned closer to Amelia. "He doesn't like it when other guys stare at my tits too much. He said he wouldn't fuck me later if I asked him to."

"I will!" Pam offered and I burst out laughing.

"Oh hell," Eric said, shaking his head.

"Well if you aren't going to tap that ass, someone should," Pam tilted her head to the side.

"Pammy, I don't do girls," I pouted at her. "But I appreciate the offer."

"I'll be here if you change your mind, sugartits," Pam winked at me.

Eric just banged his head on the table.

I giggled and walked away with Amelia. She bought me a round of lemondrop shots, and then helped me up the stairs to the dance floor, pausing at the bar to buy another round first. I completely zoned out on everything going on around me and just laughed hysterically at nothing while dancing with her. Pam appeared a short time later, and when I spied Eric standing off to the side just watching us I disengaged from the girls to go get him.

"Come dance with me," I batted my eyelashes at him.

"Pam might get jealous," he said.

"Fuck her," I waved it off. "Besides, she's all up in Amelia's shit right now."

"Alright then, but don't think you can touch me inappropriately."

"I'll be a good girl," I grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the dance floor.

Of course, my definition of 'good' was a little bit different from everyone else's at that point. My hands behaved themselves, for the most part, but my ass was another story since it kept backing up and rubbing against him. Everything started to become one big blur, punctuated by more drinks until I finally almost fell over on the dance floor. Eric caught me before I actually fell, and decided it was time for us to get going.

"Alright, drunky, it's time to go home."

"Okay," I giggled as he got me back on my feet. "Can I say goodnight to Pammy and Amelia first?"

"Only if you call Pam, Pammy," he grinned.

"Deal!" I hugged him, and then went to go find Pam. Eric followed behind me as I wiggled my way through the crowd to where Pam was. I hugged her from behind and said, "Pammy, we're going home now."

"So soon? What about my offer from earlier?" she turned her head.

"I still don't do girls, Pammy," I kissed her cheek.

"How about motorboating?" she countered, and I swear I heard Eric growl behind me.

"Just say goodnight, Pam."

"Goodnight, Pam," she mimicked, and I moved over to give Amelia a hug.

"I'm sorry about Pam," she apologized to me.

"I'm used to it," I giggled. "You know, just to piss her off I should have you motorboat me."

Amelia laughed awkwardly but said, "Nah, just let Eric do it already. He's been giving you fuck me eyes all night."

"No, he's too nice," I said, and gave her one more squeeze before I let her go.

"You drink plenty of water before you go to sleep, you hear me? And if you feel like you're gonna puke, don't fight it," Amelia said.

"I won't! Besides," I moved back to Eric's side and hugged him around his waist. "Eric's going to take very good care of me, aren't you?"

"Yes I am," he smiled, and wrapped an arm around me.

"I'll call you tomorrow," I promised Amelia, and after a quick wave Eric was helping me across the dance floor and down the stairs so I didn't break my neck.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Drunk, happy, dizzy and a little horny," I said, seeing no problem with being completely honest. "It's been too long since I had sex last."

Eric coughed, and said, "Then feel free to diddle yourself tonight. I'll wear my earbuds to bed."

"Did you just say diddle?" I giggled, and nearly lost my footing on the steps when I looked up at him. Intoxication and five inch heels don't mix.

"I did," he laughed as he steadied me.

"Stairs are not my friend tonight," I pouted, and thankfully we were downstairs two steps later.

"I'll carry you the rest of the way if you want."

"No, I can walk," I said, although that was definitely debatable.

"Did you have a good birthday?"

"Very good!" I grinned up at him as we walked out of the bar. I looped my arm around one of his. "Thank you for everything."

"We'll see if you're still thanking me in the morning."

"Oh I will," I nodded as he led me to the car. "You should have had more drinks though. I feel bad for being drunk alone. Did you have fun?"

"I did," he said. "You were very amusing."

"Why thank you," I curtsied, and nearly fell again.

"Okay, you have to stop making sudden movements."

"It's not my fault! Fucking gravity," I cursed while Eric steadied me again, and dug into his pocket for his car keys.

"Damn that gravity," he mumbled as he unlocked the passenger door, then helped me into the seat.

"It's a real bitch," I agreed, and he closed the door for me. I leaned back against the seat and closed my eyes for a few seconds until he got in on the other side. "I forgot to tell you something last week," I giggled as he started the car.

"Oh?"

"Remember that guy I told you I've been bantering slash flirting back and forth with in that summer seminar thing I was taking?" I asked as I started to unbuckle my shoes.

"Yeah."

"We kinda got caught making out in the library last week," I giggled, and dropped my first shoe on the floor. I started unbuckling the second shoe and said, "I haven't talked to him since."

"Are you interested enough to date him?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "But since he hasn't called me I don't think anything's going to happen. He was a really good kisser, though."

"He's an idiot if he doesn't call you."

"Yeah he is," I agreed, and dropped my other shoe. "I think the librarian enjoyed what he was seeing a little too much, though. I don't know how long he was standing there before he cleared his throat."

"Was he old or young?"

"Old. Not like, life support old, but like, old enough to be my dad old," I explained.

"Nice. Middle age boner."

"Probably," I sighed, and rolled down my window. "It's way too hot outside. It needs to be colder or I need to be wearing less clothes."

"Sookie, you're barely wearing any clothes already."

"It's still hot," I whined a little. "Why doesn't this stupid car have air conditioning anyway?"

"Excuse me? Did you just call my car stupid?"

"Did I stutter?" I asked, a la John Bender.

"If you weren't a girl..."

"If I wasn't a girl what?" I put my feet up on the dashboard.

"You just don't insult a man's car."

"Hey, don't get mad at me because the car is stupid! It's my not fault it doesn't have air conditioning or a stereo that doesn't take twenty minutes to tune into a new station."

Eric gripped the steering wheel tighter, and gritted his teeth.

"Oh cool your balls! It's just a stupid car," I rolled my eyes.

"I'm so glad I know how you really feel about it."

"Are we going to fight again? Didn't we do that enough this morning?" I leaned closer to the open window.

"No, we're not gonna fight again," he sighed.

"Good because it would be stupid to fight over a car," I said, and closed my eyes.

"It's not just a car!"

"Yes it is," I giggled, and stuck my arm out the window.

"I'm not sure I like you drunk anymore."

"Because I said something about your car?" I picked my head up. "Eric, seriously..."

"It's a guy thing."

"I guess," I said, and that was the last thing either of us said until we got back to his house.

Eric pulled into the driveway, and I collected my shoes off the floor. I was careful getting out of the car so I wouldn't dent a door or something. God forbid his precious get damaged in any capacity. He still seemed annoyed with me when we got inside, and in my drunken state I came up with what I thought was a great idea to get him to calm down.

I dropped my shoes and bent over the back of the couch. I looked over my shoulder at Eric and said, "Okay, I'm ready for that birthday spanking now."

"Very funny," he said, but I noticed him tense up.

"Come on," I wiggled my ass at him. "I know you want to."

"If I do that, we're going to end up fucking," he smiled. "And we're definitely not doing that."

"Tease," I said, but didn't straighten up. "Guess I wore sexy red underwear for nothing."

He looked like he wanted to say something suggestive, but managed to rein it in.

"Come on, let's go get you in some PJ's."

"You're sure you don't want to?" I asked, and gave him one more wiggle. "I did insult your car."

"I'm sure," he said. "I'd rather still have a friend in the morning than get laid tonight."

"Oh fine," I muttered, and then stood up straight so I could get my bag. "Are you going to stop being mad at me then?"

"I'm not mad at you, I promise."

"Good because I don't like it when you're mad at me," I said as I bent over to pick up my bag.

"I don't either."

"Will you unzip my dress for me?" I asked when I stood up.

"Let's go up to the bedroom first," he said.

"Mmm...I don't know if stairs are a good idea. Maybe I'll just sleep on the couch," I suggested.

"You're going to feel better if you sleep in a bed. I'll carry you up the stairs."

"Eric, you're not-" I started to argue, but then I was tossed over his shoulder and up the stairs we went. We were upstairs before I could have finished my lame ass argument anyway.

"See, that wasn't so bad was it?" he asked after setting me back on my feet.

"Thank you," I said, and headed for the guest room so I could change clothes.

"You can change in there, but you're sleeping in my room," Eric said.

"Eric, I'm a big girl. I can sleep in a bed all by myself," I argued, and started to tug my dress down.

"You're going to appreciate my bathroom though. Just trust me."

"There's a bathroom right across the hall," I pointed, and wiggled the rest of the way out of the dress.

Eric turned around suddenly, then said, "But I really don't want to clean up puke in my hallway."

"Gravity and your logic are both bitches," I grumbled, but Eric snickered.

"Yes they are."

"Okay you should go away now while I'm naked," I told him, and pulled my pajamas out of my bag.

"I'm not looking," he said.

"Fine," I shrugged, and took off the rest of my clothes so I could get a little more comfortable. Comfortable didn't include the bra I was wearing, that's for damn sure. I put on a fresh pair of tiny shorts and a tank top and then said, "Okay, not naked anymore."

Eric turned around, and smiled. "You're not wearing a bra anymore."

"I never sleep in a bra," I said as I stuffed my things back into my bag, minus the dress since it would just be a crumpled ball of wrinkles if I did.

"I know, it's just a nice view. Now come on, let's go to my room."

"Coming," I followed behind him and left my bag in the guest room.

Eric turned on his bedroom lights and I went to the bathroom to finger brush my teeth. I didn't want the taste of booze in my mouth all night. I think I went through about ten Dixie cups worth of water before I had enough, and went back to the bedroom. Eric was down to just boxers.

"You know, it's really not fair to share a bed with someone who looks that good when they won't even touch you," I shook my head, and climbed up onto his bed.

"I'm glad you think I look good," he grinned. "But I made a promise and I'm going to keep it."

"Yeah yeah," I muttered, and flopped back against the pillows. "It's hot in here, too."

"I'll turn on the ceiling fan," he said. "And there's a trash can on your side if you need to puke."

"I'm fine. I don't need to puke," I rolled onto my side.

"For now," he smirked.

"You just want me to puke."

"No I don't."

"Whatever," I closed my eyes. "Your bed is so comfy."

I felt like I was floating and everything was spinning. I couldn't really feel my legs very well, so the idea of walking anywhere at the moment didn't sit well with me at all. Otherwise, I felt pretty good.

"Enjoy it while it lasts."

"You are such a party pooper," I slurred, suddenly feeling all kinds of sleepy, and yawned loudly.

"Sorry," he said, and rolled on his side to face me. "Try to go to sleep. Shouldn't be a problem."

"Thank you," I stretched forward and kissed him on his lips.

He smiled a little dopey smile, and said, "You're welcome."

"Night, favorite," I snuggled into my pillow.

"Night," he said, and decided to snuggle me.

I was fine for a while. Sleeping felt good. Two hours later, it was another story. I woke up feeling this insane pressure in my stomach, something like if I had been trapped in a washing machine while it was on the spin cycle. All I could think was that Eric had been right, and just to be on the safe side I went to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me so I wouldn't wake him up if I did puke, and decided it was probably a good idea to put my hair up just in case. The elastic that I kept on my wrist was there for a reason, and I piled my hair on top of my head.

I'd spent about ten minutes, at least I think it was that long, kneeling in front of the toilet before it all came up. I never in a million years thought it would feel that good to throw up, but once I did, I felt immensely better. I vaguely recalled something from an old Bill Cosby routine about people thanking the toilet bowl when they're drunk, and in that moment I was one of those people. The toilet bowl was my best friend.

But then the bathroom door opened and a sleepy giant appeared at my side.

"You were right," I said, and then puked again.

"And I'm sorry about that," he said as he kneeled next to me, and started rubbing my back gently.

The whole thing really was disgusting since I kept spitting in between heaves, but Eric hung in there with me, making sure I didn't get puke in my hair. When I reached up to flush the toilet he got me some water and a damp rag to wipe my face with.

"I'm never doing this again," I muttered the same five words spoken by millions of people all the time.

"I know," he said supportively.

I leaned against the cabinet by the sink and said, "I feel so much better, though."

"Yeah, that happens. Just be glad you didn't have the dry heaves."

"Shhh... maybe if we don't mention them they'll stay away," I whispered, and took the water he handed me.

"With any luck," he smiled.

I drank my water and when I was ready, Eric helped me back to my feet. He handed me another little cup that had mouthwash in it, and I hadn't even seen him pour it for me.

"Thanks," I smiled weakly, and then swished that around in my mouth.

"You're welcome," he said. "I've been in your shoes before."

"I'm sure you have," I said after I spit the mouthwash out. He handed me a pair of aspirin and some more water. "You're too good at this."

"Like I said, I've been where you're standing."

I drank the water and took the pills. Eric escorted me back to bed and reminded me the trash can was there in case I needed it, but I felt a million times better. I climbed back into bed with him, and just as before he snuggled up behind me.

"Goodnight, birthday girl."

"Night, favorite," I mumbled in response, and dropped off to sleep a few minutes later.


	5. Your Boyfriend Sucks

Outtake: Your Boyfriend Sucks

It had been more than three years since the last time I saw Alcide. Then the annual camping trip came up and it turned out Alcide was there too. His marriage had ended already, and he had moved back to his parents' house temporarily while he got settled. At first I dodged him. After years of silence, I wasn't really sure of what to say to him. He'd broken my heart and married someone else in the span of six months.

I was over him, thanks to the passage of time and my friendship with Eric, but seeing him was unexpectedly awkward. Three days had passed before I decided to suck it up and break the ice. We made small talk at first, getting caught up on the fringes of what was going on in each other's lives. He wasn't seeing anyone, obviously, since his divorce wasn't even completely final yet. I was only dating casually. My last boyfriend and I had parted ways a few months prior, but the breakup had been mutual. We just weren't going to work in the long run.

Alcide and I talked a lot during the trip, and he apologized for the way he treated me. He told me it was a major regret of his, and I could see the guilt in his eyes when he talked. I accepted his apology and forgave him for what he'd done. I realized I needed that closure. I needed to really let it all go once and for all, and the only way to do that was to forgive him. I felt lighter after that.

We agreed to try and be friends in the wake of that trip. I wanted to take it slowly with the occasional phone call, or by trading texts or emails. I didn't want to hang out with him all the time, and he certainly wasn't my go-to person on a shit day. But I slowly started to remember what it was about him that I had fallen in love with in the first place. The hard part was telling Eric that Alcide was back in the picture.

A month had passed since I got back from Michigan, and it started to weigh on my conscience that I hadn't come clean and told Eric about what had happened while I was away. I'd never lied to Eric before, and I didn't feel good about doing it. So I decided it was time to tell him everything, especially since my feelings for Alcide were starting to shift. I bit the bullet one rainy Thursday afternoon and went over to Eric's house. I didn't want to talk to him at the bar. There were too many distractions there, and I had a feeling he was going to be pissed at me. He had every right to be.

I parked in his driveway, took a deep breath and then went to the front door and rang the bell. I stood there awkwardly while I waited for him to answer the door.

"Oh hey, Sook," he said after he opened it. "Come on in."

"Sorry, you're not busy right now are you?" I asked as I stepped into the house.

"Nope, I was just about to get on the treadmill," he said. "What's up?"

"I have something I wanted to talk to you about, but if you're busy it can wait," I said. I was such a fucking chicken.

"I'm not busy," he smiled. "Come sit down in the living room."

I followed him to the living room and wished I would have had the forethought to bring a bottle of tequila with me. It would certainly make the conversation go much easier.

"So, how was your day?" I asked, stalling as much as possible.

"Fine," he said. "What are you avoiding telling me?"

"I've been avoiding telling you for like a month," I confessed, and plopped down on his couch.

"Are you pregnant?"

"Eric, if I was pregnant I would have been in full panic mode for the last month, believe me," I sighed, and rubbed my eyes. "What I have to tell you isn't really that bad, I just wasn't sure how to bring it up."

"Then rip the band-aid off."

I took a deep breath, blew it out and said, "I saw Alcide while I was on the camping trip with my parents. We talked things over and decided to try giving the whole being friends thing a shot, but I think I have feelings for him again."

"You..." he started, then stopped, and just stared at me.

"You think I'm crazy, don't you?"

"Yeah, frankly, I do."

"I thought it was crazy at first too, but he apologized for the way he treated me before. He's getting divorced and he's moved back here now. I just... I don't know... he's different, but the same in all the good ways."

"So what if he just found new bad ways to fuck you over?"

"I know," I sighed, and leaned forward to put my head in my hands. "I don't know what I'm going to do about all of this, but I just... I felt horrible for keeping this from you, and I wanted to know what you think about it. I mean, I know you don't know Alcide so you're probably not really the right person to ask, but I trust your judgment and-"

"You trust my judgment? Okay, then I'm telling you that this is a bad, stupid idea," he said, his voice getting louder. He was pissed.

"I'm sorry I lied to you, Eric," I said, making sure to look him in his eyes.

"I know you are," he said. "I trust you. But how can you believe that he's sorry for anything other than being upset he lost you? And I don't mean that in the romantic way, I mean he doesn't give a shit how he hurt you."

"But he does. He told me that he regrets the way things happened between us. He looked so guilty and... I believe him. I believe that he knows he screwed up. I forgave him, Eric. Truthfully, I forgave him a long time ago. This was just the first chance I had to tell him," I admitted.

"Do you understand what I'm saying though? I don't believe for a second that this asshole understands how badly he hurt you. I think he just got scared, and ran off and married the first piece of ass he could find for some dumb reason or another. And then he realized how stupid he was to leave you. How can you give him the chance to do it again?"

"He married his ex because she said she was pregnant, and he thought he was doing the right thing. Maybe that's a stupid reason to get married, but he was eighteen," I shrugged, and Eric narrowed his eyes. He wasn't happy with this at all.

"Then he's even dumber than I thought."

"Eric..." I sighed. "He's not a bad guy. He's done some bad things, but he's not a bad person."

"Just think about it for a minute, Sookie. He left you, immediately moved on with the chick he's still married to, and now he's back to you? He needs to be alone for a while and grow the fuck up."

"You're right about that last part," I conceded. "Look, nothing's happened. We've talked on the phone a couple of times, and we had dinner together last week-"

"Ha!" he interrupted. "So it's just a matter of time before something does."

"It was just dinner, Eric! You and me have dinner together all the time. That doesn't mean we're going to- never mind," I shook my head.

"Oh come on, you're smarter than that, Sookie," he said. "This asshole knows all your buttons. He could get you in bed in no time simply because he knows you so well. And then you'll convince yourself it can work and you'll just be opening the door for him to fuck you up all over again."

"Wow," I said, and stared at the floor, telling myself I wasn't going to start crying, even though I wanted to.

"Look," he sighed. "I'm not trying to be mean here. I'm just trying to be your friend."

"I know," I closed my eyes, hoping to clear the stupid traitor tears out of them. "I guess I just thought you trusted me a little more."

"I do trust you," he said. "But I also know that you have a big, loving, forgiving heart. And you're lonely. That's a recipe for disaster where Alcide is concerned."

I nodded and then turned my face to look at Eric. "He makes me happy, Eric. I don't know what else to say."

"Why does he make you happy? How?"

"I don't know, he just does," I shrugged. "I don't know how to explain it."

"Try."

"We actually have a lot of things in common. We like a lot of the same things. He gets my sense of humor, and we can talk about anything, and for hours. I just... I feel better when I'm around him. I didn't think I would ever feel that again, but I do."

"I thought you felt better around me."

"I _do_ feel better around you, but that doesn't mean I can't feel that around him too," I argued.

He sighed again, and I felt like he wanted to argue more, but instead he asked, "Are you sure he makes you happy? And not just because it's easy with him?"

"He makes me happy, Eric."

"Alright then."

"I don't know what's going to happen. Maybe nothing. Maybe this is just a crush, and it won't even go anywhere," I shrugged.

"Whatever it is, or ends up being. I'm still your friend. I'll still be here."

"I know, and I appreciate that. I really am sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"I know, but don't do that again."

"I won't, I promise," I smiled at him, and leaned over to give him a hug.

"You're my favorite," he whispered in my ear.

"You're my favorite, too," I whispered back. We were quiet for a few minutes, and I was still hugging him when I said, "I really want you to meet Alcide. You only know my side of things and there are two sides to every story. I wasn't exactly perfect."

It was the loyal thing to do for Eric to judge Alcide strictly based on the things I told him, but I was the jilted ex-girlfriend. Of course I was going to say that Alcide was an asshole for breaking my heart. It wasn't like I only said bad things about him, but I could understand why it would seem like the bad outweighed the good. I really didn't know what was going to happen as far as Alcide was concerned. I wasn't sure I wanted to go down that road again with him, but maybe it was just that the timing had been all wrong before.

We had both grown up since then. Both of us had changed in the years since we broke up, and we each had more relationship experience under our belts. Still, the question about whether or not it was just easier to be with Alcide was sticking in my craw. It was a good point Eric had made, and it was something I would closely examine before I made any decisions about what to do.

"Oh I definitely want to meet him," he said. "But if he says anything bad about you I'm going to punch him."

"I don't think you're going to have to worry about that, but I appreciate you looking out for me," I gave him one more squeeze, and then let go.

"When do I get to meet him?"

"When do you want to meet him?"

"Whenever you want me to."

"Let me talk to Alcide and see what works for him. He already knows about you," I informed Eric.

"Oh yeah? What'd you tell him?"

"The truth. That you and I are very good friends and that I don't plan on changing that for anything."

"And how did he react to that?"

"He didn't have much of a reaction," I shrugged. "And if he does have a problem with it he's just going to have to get over it."

"Good," he said simply.

"Just try to go into it with an open mind, okay?"

"I promise I'll try to do my best."

"Thank you," I smiled at him. "I really think if you gave him a chance you two could actually be friends."

"Do we even have anything in common?"

"You both like me," I said with a cheesy grin.

"Other than our obvious like of you," he smiled, and nudged me.

"You both like classic rock. You're both tall..." I trailed off, since that was pretty much where the similarities ended, but that didn't mean they couldn't be friends.

"We're both incredibly handsome with large pe-" he stopped at the look on my face and corrected himself with, "muscles."

All I could do was shake my head at him. I definitely didn't want to talk about my sex life with him where Alcide was concerned. Just the thought of it made my skin crawl a little.

"I'm kidding," he chuckled. "But serious about the pen-"

"I'm in no position to compare, and that is not an invitation for you to drop your pants," I laughed.

"It's okay, I have no need to prove anything," he smirked. "There's a reason I don't drive a penis-compensating car."

I just stayed quiet. I didn't really need to think about Eric's junk.

Instead I changed the subject a little and said, "You were right about the handsome thing, but the muscles thing..."

"Oh, is he puny?"

"Honey, he's former military he's definitely ripped," I said with a spazzy sort of smile on my face. "And he's been an athlete from the time he could throw a ball."

Eric didn't say anything at all. He simply glared at me.

"What?" I asked innocently. "Eric, I'm not saying that you're a weakling! I'm just saying-"

"That I'm not as hot. I get it."

"Ugh, I didn't say that!" I flopped back against the back of the couch.

"I work out six days a week, y'know," he said.

"Yes, I know."

"So what you're saying is that I don't have a body type that you're attracted to."

I rolled my eyes and said, "I didn't say that either! Besides, why does it matter who has better abs-"

"His are better than mine?"

"Can we please just find something else to talk about? It's not important," I shook my head.

"I work hard on my body. It's important to me."

"I never should have said anything," I sighed.

"Oh I'll be fine," he sighed dramatically.

"Don't let this go to your head, but you are very sexy, Eric. Any girl would be lucky to have you, and not just because of your body," I let my head roll to the side. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"You didn't hurt my feelings, just my ego," he smiled. "And thank you."

"You're welcome. So are we good now?"

"Yeah, we're fine," he said. "Will you just promise me something though?"

"What's that?"

"Will you promise to really, really think about it before you jump back into a relationship with him?"

"I will," I nodded, and held up my pinky finger. "Shake on it?"

"Of course," he smiled and hooked his pinky with mine.

**oOoOoOo**

It was another two months before Alcide and I were officially a couple again, and so I'd asked Eric to have dinner with us one night. Eric suggested we have dinner at his restaurant. At first I wasn't sure that was a good idea, but I figured being on his own turf might make him feel better, so I agreed. Besides, I hung out there often enough so it only made sense that Alcide see where I was spending a lot of my time when I wasn't in classes. I called Eric when we were on our way, and he was waiting for us in the bar when we arrived.

"You ready for this?" I asked Alcide as we walked into the restaurant with our hands linked.

"I didn't think I needed to prepare myself for anything," he smiled at me, and I felt a little less nervous.

"Just remember that he's the protective sort, but he promised me he would be on his best behavior," I said, and pulled him into the bar. I searched the crowd and waved when I saw Eric.

"Which one is he?" Alcide whispered in my ear.

"The tall, Viking-looking one coming toward us," I whispered back.

"Got it," Alcide said, and seconds later Eric was standing in front of us.

"Hey," I smiled at Eric. "Eric, this is Alcide. Alcide, this is Eric."

"Nice to meet you," Eric said, and offered his hand for Alcide to shake.

"Likewise," Alcide reached out and shook Eric's hand. "Sookie talks about you all the time."

"I've heard a lot about you too," he smiled.

"Good things, I hope," Alcide said nervously.

"Not in the beginning," he smirked. "But lately it's been good."

"Fair enough," Alcide nodded.

"So, are we sitting in the bar?" I asked Eric.

"I have a booth waiting for us," he said, and motioned for us to follow him.

When we got to the booth, Alcide and I sat on one side and Eric sat on the other. I was glad we weren't in a corner booth where I would be stuck between them. I really didn't want to feel like a ragdoll by the end of the night.

"Nice place you got here, Eric," Alcide said, and took the menu I handed him.

"Thanks," he said. "I'm proud of it."

"How long you been in business?" Alcide asked, and started browsing the menu.

"Since I was twenty-one," Eric said. "Had to be old enough to have a liquor license."

"Very cool," Alcide nodded, and then looked to me. "So what's good here, Peanut?"

I rolled my eyes as the use of that particular pet name because I knew Eric was going to jump all over it, and it was a stupid story that I hated telling people.

"Everything," I said, but knew that wouldn't be a good enough answer for him.

"Peanut?" Eric asked, looking like he was trying not to laugh.

"Yes, and there's a really lame story attached to-"

"She choked on a peanut," Alcide cut me off. "She was goofing around, and somehow ended up choking on a peanut."

"Thanks, Alcide," I glared at him.

"And that made you have Peanut as a pet name?" Eric asked, clearly confused.

"Only because this guy," I jerked my thumb at Alcide, "saved me from choking to death. But he likes to remind me what a spaz I can be sometimes."

"I do it with love," he said, and leaned over to kiss my temple. Eric didn't seem to like that very much either.

"He should be careful about it though because I know a few of his nicknames that are pretty embarrassing," I reminded Alcide.

Eric ignored that though, and said, "And I know how clumsy of a waitress you can be, all the time."

"You should have had a better interview process than staring at my tits for ten minutes," I taunted, and then went back to looking at my menu even though I knew what I wanted.

"Hey, you said you could carry a tray. You didn't disclose that you could only carry it until you dropped it."

"You didn't ask," I shrugged, and he rolled his eyes. "Besides, what I lacked in skill I made up for in amusement, at least where Pam is concerned."

"Pam?" Alcide asked, looking from me to Eric.

"Pam... you know, Amelia's girlfriend? She's Eric's step-sister," I explained, although I was sure I had mentioned that connection before.

"Oh right, the one who's stuff you keep fucking with," Alcide smiled. "You're a handful, Stackhouse."

"I try," I smiled.

"So, Alcide. What do you do for a living?" Eric asked.

"I'm getting into the construction business. It's steady, reliable work and I like working with my hands. It's nice to see immediate results when you're working on something," he said, and reached for my hand under the table.

"Yeah, it is. I really love working with people, so this is good for me."

"So are you from around here?" Alcide asked, his thumb rubbing lightly along the inside of my wrist.

"I grew up south of here, but we moved up here when my mother remarried," he said. "You? Oh, yeah I guess you would be since you and Sookie were high school sweethearts, right?"

"Yes, we were," Alcide grinned. "We lived across the alley from each other growing up. Sook used to sneak out of the house to come and see me after curfew."

"Oh yeah?" Eric asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Oh come on, you can't be surprised I didn't follow the rules," I waved him off, and was grateful when the waitress appeared to take our drink orders.

"I think Sook spent half of junior year grounded," Alcide chuckled beside me, and ordered a beer.

"Hey! I had a partner in crime. I seem to remember someone intentionally resetting the clock in his car so I thought we had more time than we really did," I elbowed Alcide, and ordered a glass of wine.

"So you made her late, and made her come to you?" Eric asked him.

"I didn't make Sook do anything. She's not the kind of girl you can push around once she gets an idea in her head," Alcide looked over at me. "You're a bull-headed woman."

"Besides, Alcide knocked it off the with the clock when he realized that if I was grounded, so was he," I told Eric.

"Ew."

I laughed and nudged Eric under the table with my foot. "It's not like I'm giving you details."

"It's not like I give you details either," he said, and nudged me back with a smile.

"Thank fuck for that," I muttered.

"Oh come on, that wouldn't be awkward at all," he said with sarcasm.

"Oh God no," I responded in kind. "You know, you and James should keep a tally and compare notes to save yourselves the trouble."

"Who's James?" Alcide cut in.

"Oh this one's all yours, Eric," I smirked at him, knowing how much he personally disliked James.

"James used to be my bartender," he said. "He's a big whore."

"Uh huh," Alcide said, clearly not getting it.

"Eric plays it a little fast and loose with the ladies," I whispered as delicately as possible.

"Ah, gotcha," Alcide nodded.

Eric was still giving me the stink eye when our drinks came a minute later. Whatever. He knew how he was, and I wasn't saying anything that wasn't true, nor was I judging him.

"So then you don't have a girlfriend, Eric, or she just couldn't join us tonight?" Alcide asked, and took a drink of his beer.

"I don't have one," he said. "Like Sookie said, I'm just a love 'em and leave 'em type."

"I think I'm the closest thing he's ever had to a girlfriend," I volunteered, but then wished I hadn't said it.

"She really is," Eric said, and smiled.

"As long as you two aren't fooling around behind my back, there won't be a problem," Alcide said with a little bit of an edge to his voice.

I groaned internally at the realization that this was most likely the portion of the evening when the pissing contest would start, and I decided to excuse myself to go to the ladies' room so I could avoid most of it. "I'll be right back, boys. Eric, you know my usual if the waitress comes while I'm gone."

"I got you," he said.

I didn't really need to go to the bathroom, but I hung out in there for a few minutes anyway to give the boys a chance to say whatever it was they wanted to say to each other without me around. When I was sure I'd given them long enough, I headed back for our table. As I was coming around the corner I could hear Eric talking, and I stopped in my tracks to listen. From where I was standing I was hidden behind the divider. It wasn't very dignified, and I shouldn't have eavesdropped, but I was glad I did.

"I'm sure you didn't intentionally hurt her the first time around, but she's my best friend, and I'm hers, and it's my job to make sure she doesn't get hurt again. Sookie is an amazing person, and you should know her well enough to know that she wants certain things out of life. Things like marriage, and kids, and a life together. If you can't give her those things, don't let her think you can. I really don't want to have to kick your ass, but if you hurt her like that again, I will. Understand?"

"Understood," Alcide said, but that was it.

I waited a few more seconds to make sure there was nothing else, but then Alcide asked if Eric followed any sports and I figured it was safe to return to the table. Alcide smiled when he saw me approaching, and I slid back into the booth beside him.

"Did I miss anything?" I asked, knowing full well that I had.

"We were just discussing my complete lack of interest in sports," Eric smiled.

"I'll turn you into a baseball fan yet," I smiled, but Eric rolled his eyes.

"In your dreams," he said.

"I don't know, man, you know how convincing she is when she wants to be," Alcide smiled, and put his arm around me.

"I'm sure I don't know that as well as you," Eric said, then looked at me. "I ordered you your usual while you were gone, by the way."

"Seven pepper fries?" I asked, just to be sure.

"Oh shit, that was your usual? I thought it was the Vegan tofu burger."

"You don't even make a vegan tofu burger, you buttmunch," I kicked him under the table.

"True," he laughed as he reached down to rub his shin. "Yes, I got you the seven pepper fries. And asked for a drink refill."

"See that's why you're my favorite," I scrunched my nose at him, but Alcide tightened his grip on me just a little. I was going to have to explain that later, but oh well.

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**


	6. Lie in the Sound

Outtake: Lie in the Sound

I zipped my duffel bag closed, and hauled it off the bed angrily. I was too angry at the moment to cry, but I knew the tears would come. Alcide sat on the other side of the bed, head hanging, and looking damn pitiful. As if it was my fault we were in this fucking mess to begin with! Asshole.

"I'll come back for the rest of my stuff sometime this week. I don't want you here when I do it," I said angrily.

"Sook..."

"Don't use that pathetic, whiny tone with me, Alcide. You knew what I wanted, and you promised me..." I couldn't talk anymore. We were going in circles, and it was getting us nowhere.

"I told you I didn't want to get married again. I was honest with you about that from the beginning. You knew, and we got back together anyway. You're pissed because you couldn't change me," Alcide said without looking up.

"Then you should have walked the fuck away!" I yelled at him, but it didn't matter.

None of it mattered. Finally, after all the ups and downs it was over. For good. There was no fixing it this time.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"None of your fucking business," I shouted over my shoulder as I grabbed my purse, and stormed out of the apartment we had been sharing for the last two years.

I considered going to my parents' house, but it was late and I didn't want to wake them up. There was only one person I knew who would be up at that time of the night and not care that I had just randomly dropped in. Before I knew it, my car was headed toward Eric's house. Frankly, I couldn't really imagine being near anyone other than him anyway. I could only hope that he didn't have company when I got there.

The tears still hadn't come by the time I pulled into Eric's driveway, but that all changed when he opened his front door to me a minute later. I'm sure I looked like hell in baggy yoga pants and a giant t-shirt, but I didn't really care about that. I had about a week's worth of clothes crammed into my bag, and a hope that Eric would be willing to let me crash at his house until I figured out what the fuck I was going to do with myself.

"Hi," I said pathetically.

"Hey," he said with a confused look on his face. He looked down at the bag, then back at me, and gently pulled me into his arms. "What's wrong?"

"I broke up with Alcide," I said, and my voice didn't sound like me. "I was hoping I could crash here for a couple of days while I figure out what the fuck to do with my life."

"Of course you can," he said. "Come in."

I kicked off my sandals when I got into the house, and left my bag by the stairs. I didn't know what to do with myself. At the moment, I felt empty.

"I'm sorry if I'm bothering you," I sighed, and leaned against the wall. "You don't have to hang out with me if you already had plans for tonight."

"I was just about to watch some DVR'd episodes of Chopped," he said. "And you're not, nor do you ever bother me. In fact, I have a full box of Kleenex and some rocky road ice cream in the freezer with your name on it. Literally. You put your name on it the last time you were here."

He was trying to make me smile or laugh, but I just wasn't feeling it at the moment. I did appreciate it, though.

"Right now I'll just settle for curling up in a ball and doing the zombie thing. I'll eat my feelings later," I said, but stayed there against the wall.

"C'mere," he said, and pulled me into his arms again.

Eric brought me over to the couch and sat me down. I felt like I was moving on auto-pilot. The lights were on, but no one was home. I stared at the TV, but I wasn't seeing anything. I could hear Eric commenting about what was going on with the show, but the words weren't making a lick of sense to me. I was stuck in limbo.

The next thing I knew, Eric was kneeling in front of me. The TV was off. He was talking.

"Talk to me," he said.

"I'm not really ready to talk about it yet," I said quietly, but couldn't look at him.

"Then cry it out if you need to. You can't stay in this zombie state for too long or you won't come out of it for a long, long time, and he doesn't get to make that happen to you."

I nodded, but didn't say anything. I was amazed that I still hadn't cried.

"You can go back to watching your shows if you want. I think maybe I'll just go upstairs and try to sleep it off a little," I said, and offered him the lamest, weakest smile anyone ever tried to smile.

"Stop it," he said. "What did that asshole do?"

"Nothing," I shrugged. "But that's always the problem; he does nothing. I want to move forward and he wants to pretend like we're still sixteen. I'm over it."

"What do you mean?"

"He doesn't want to get married and I do. There's no compromising on something like that, so it's over. We just don't want the same things."

"How long has he not wanted to get married?"

"Since about a month after we got back together," I admitted, "But he told me there was a chance he might change his mind."

"So he gave you the tiny thread of hope you needed to stay with him."

"Yeah," I admitted.

"Stay here," he said, and got up off the floor.

"Where are you going?" I asked, my pulse suddenly racing because I had a pretty good idea of exactly where Eric was going.

"I warned him. I fucking told him the first time we met that if he didn't want marriage and kids, and the cute house with the picket fence that he needed to walk away, because if he did what he just did, I'd kick his ass. So I'm going to kick his ass."

"Eric, don't!" I grabbed his hand. "Please, just... not tonight, okay?"

"Tomorrow night then?"

"Just leave him alone in his miserable life. I told him I would be back later on this week to get my stuff, so tomorrow I'll call my brother to see when I can borrow his truck. I told Alcide I don't want him there when I move my stuff out, not that I want much of what's there," I said, and pulled my knees to my chest.

"I'm going with you, just tell me when," he said.

"No offense, Eric, but I wasn't going to give you a choice on that," I said, and finally gave him a genuine small smile.

"Good," he smiled back. "Can I accidentally ruin some of his stuff while we're there?"

"I would rather you didn't. This is going to get messy enough since both of our names are on the lease for the apartment, and we have a shared bank account..." I trailed off, and it started to hit me just how entwined our lives were.

A full-blown panic attack started, and before I knew it I was hyperventilating and sobbing at the same time. It wasn't pretty.

"Hey, hey," Eric said, and pulled me into his arms again. "We'll go to the bank first thing in the morning to get you your own bank account again. First step to independence, right?"

I nodded, but kept right on sobbing. He wanted the dams to break and now it wasn't going to stop.

"When we go get your stuff we can talk to the building manager about getting you off the lease. And whatever else you need to do, I'm there."

It was a good thing one of us was thinking rationally, because my brain just wasn't computing anything other than Alcide and I were over. All of the things I had hoped for with him were gone, and even if it was partially my own fault for trying to change him, it still hurt like a motherfucker.

"I know it hurts right now, but you got through this once, and you'll get through it again," he said. "I'll be here every step of the way."

I nodded again, and let myself collapse into the hug he had me wrapped in.

"I love you, Sook," he said, and rocked me gently.

"Love... you... too..." I managed to get out, sniffling like a fool since I was deep into ugly cry mode.

Eric was quiet after that, and rubbed my back as I let it all out. He was my rock, and I loved him for it. I cried until there was nothing left, and I'm pretty sure I fell asleep curled up next to Eric on the couch.

The next morning, or afternoon, I'm not sure which, I woke up in Eric's bed, alone and with a headache. It didn't look like the other side of the bed had been slept in. I got up and went to the bathroom, where I got a good look at myself in the mirror. My eyes looked swollen, and my face was splotchy still, so I splashed some cold water on it before going to find Eric. But when I opened the bathroom door I found him sitting on his bed.

"Hey," he said. "How'd you sleep?"

"Like a rock. Thanks for bringing me up here," I said, and smiled softly. "What time is it?"

"Almost eleven," he said. "I have some pancake batter made if you want to eat."

"No, that's okay. I'm not really hungry," I said, but that wasn't uncommon when I was stressed out about something. My appetite was always the first thing to go. "I need to call my boss and explain why I didn't show up at work today."

"I already did," he said.

"You called my boss?"

"Yeah," he admitted sheepishly. "I used your phone. I didn't want to wake you, but I didn't want you to get into trouble either."

"Thanks," I said, and just like that, the tears started all over again.

Eric opened his arms to me, and I went right into them. I ended up sitting on his lap like a scared little girl, which I suppose I was, in some ways, and spent the next ten minutes or so having another mini-breakdown. I knew he would be there for me no matter what, but God, my unstable emotions had to be stressful on him too. Even after all the years we'd been friends, he still didn't like it when I cried.

"I'm going to text Alcide and tell him that I'll be picking up my stuff tomorrow. I think I'll probably end up back at my parents' house until I find a new place," I sniffled, and wiped my eyes and cheeks with my hands.

"You don't have to do that. You can stay here," Eric said.

"That's sweet of you, Eric, but you have your own life here. You don't need me getting in the way. Besides, we keep opposite schedules and..." I trailed off, shaking my head.

"I don't care," he said. "You going back to your parents is going to make you feel like shit. Just stay here. It's not like you'll be here forever."

"Oh no, see, if I stay here I won't want to move out. If I move in with my parents it will light a fire under my ass to get my shit together," I told him, and got off his lap. "I really do appreciate the offer, and if they start driving me crazy I might just take you up on it, but I don't want to get too comfortable here."

"You're assuming I wouldn't drive you crazy after a week?"

"Uh, no, I think it's the other way around. I noticed the side of the bed I was sleeping on is already made, and I know I didn't do that."

"It's already made because I didn't sleep there," he said with a small smile. "I didn't want you to freak out if you woke up before me so I slept in the guest bedroom."

"You didn't have to do that. It's not like we haven't slept in the same bed before," I shrugged, and looked around for the bag I'd brought with me. "Is my bag still downstairs?"

"I know, but you were really upset last night, and I didn't want your first thought when you woke up to be whether or not you slept with me. Your bag is on the floor by the dresser."

"Good thinking," I said, since he was right in guessing that my brain would immediately go there. "I'm just going to go down the hall and take a quick shower. I need to get out of these clothes."

"Alright," he said. "I'll be downstairs waiting for you. We're going to the bank."

"Yes sir," I sighed, and went down the hall to the other bathroom.

I got the water started for the shower, and then decided to give my parents a quick call to make sure it was okay that I moved back in with them. If they said no, then I would stay with Eric, but I knew if I moved in with him I wasn't going to want to leave. I didn't want to infringe on his lifestyle. Yeah, I spent a lot of time at his place already anyway, but we still had our own space at the end of the night. And I really didn't think it was a good idea to have Eric be that available to me.

We'd been friends for too long at that point for me to go and throw myself at him in some desperate attempt to get over Alcide. Eric and I already had our brushes with sexual awkwardness, so I really didn't need to go and complicate matters further that way, and as much as I loved him he just wasn't boyfriend material. There were times when I thought maybe it could work, but for as long as I'd known him Eric just wasn't interested in having a girlfriend.

But I shook myself out of those thoughts because I had much more important things to be thinking about at the moment other than that. I located my cell phone and left a message for my mother on her cell, since I was sure Daddy was probably sleeping at that time of the day, and I didn't want to wake him up if he was on duty that night. Then I sent a quick text to Alcide, telling him that I would be coming the following day to get my stuff. I would have to call Jason later to see about using his truck. If that didn't work I knew there were a couple of guys at the bar that would be willing to pitch in and help out in exchange for a few beers and a homecooked meal.

I showered quickly and when I was done I pulled on a pair of comfy, distressed jeans, a camisole and a fitted flannel shirt that I didn't bother to button. I combed out my hair and wove it into a quick braid to keep it out of my face. By the time I got downstairs Eric had a plate of pancakes sitting on the table for me, along with an enormous mug full of coffee and a bowl of sliced strawberries.

My lower lip started to wibble all over again.

"Please eat?" he asked. "It'll make you feel better."

I nodded, and stopped at his chair to kiss his head before taking my own seat. "Thank you," I smiled at him, and reached for my fork.

"You're welcome," he smiled.

I took a big bite of my pancakes, which were heavenly, and said, "I texted Alcide and called my Mom. I had to leave a message for Mom, and Alcide hasn't responded to my text yet, but at least I've got the ball rolling so he knows I'm serious."

"That's good," he nodded.

"Yeah," I agreed, and tried the strawberries, which were also amazing.

"How's the food taste?"

"Delicious, thank you," I smiled again. "Look, I know I'm a basketcase right now, but I'll be okay, Eric. You don't have to keep me on suicide watch or anything."

"I know," he said. "And you know what? Tasting food is a good sign."

I took a big drink of my coffee, which was perfectly doctored, and Eric was smart enough to know better than to sit there and watch me like a hawk while I ate. He moved to start cleaning up but I said, "No, let me do that. It's the least I can do."

"I'm the one that dirtied everything up. I'll clean it."

I squinted at him, but he squinted right back. Lucky for him my rumbling, hungry tummy forced me to look away first from the little staring contest we'd gotten into. He cleaned while I ate, and I was finishing up right around the same time he was.

"Shit, we might need to swing by the apartment. I should pick up my laptop for work so I don't get too far behind," I sighed, and tried to remember if I had grabbed my work cell phone before I left the apartment the night before. I was going to need that, too, if I didn't have it with me.

"We can do that. If he's there I'll go in and get it."

"Oh no you won't," I said, already knowing how that confrontation was going to go down, and I didn't want to have to call Eric's mother to bail him out of jail.

"I won't do anything," he said. "I promise."

I side eyed him and said, "I seem to recall you telling me last night that Alcide has a beat down coming his way."

"And I recall you asking me to leave him alone, so I'll respect that."

"Good, but I'm still going in. I know exactly where everything is that I need to get. Besides, if we get there before three he won't even be home from work yet, and I sincerely doubt Alcide took the day off to mourn and mope around in bed. And just for the record, I only asked you to leave Alcide alone because I don't want you to end up in jail over him, and not because he doesn't deserve a serious face punching."

"I know," he grinned. "I'll go in with you though, on the off chance he did stay home to mope."

"If Pam wasn't so lazy I'd send her over there for me. She scares Alcide way more than you do," I smirked, and just the thought of Pam walking in like hell on heels was enough to make me giggle to myself.

"That's because he knows Pam isn't afraid to puncture his balls with her heels."

"And then send him a bill for her shoes," I snickered.

"That's Pam."

"Alright, well, let's get this show on the road. The sooner we get this shit over with the sooner I can resume being a basketcase," I said, and headed toward the front door.

"We going to your place or the bank first?" he asked.

"The bank. That way I can leave a copy of the withdrawal receipt for Alcide so he knows what I took out of our account," I said as I slipped on the spare pair of ballet flats I'd brought with me that matched my shirt.

"Good deal."

**oOoOoOo**

Tuesday morning when I woke up, I definitely wasn't alone in Eric's bed. He had me in that iron grip of his, like he was afraid I'd sneak off the middle of the night. Trying to peel him off of me so I could get up to go pee was a bit of a project, but I managed to slither out of bed so I could go take care of business. I wrongfully assumed I had managed to get up without waking him, because the second I was back in bed I was trapped again.

"Eric, can't breathe," I whispered, and he loosened his grip just a little.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

I lay there for a while, but couldn't get myself to go back to sleep. I started thinking about all the things I was missing out on at work, and the fact that I was missing it because of the buttface who hadn't cared enough about our relationship to take a day off of work to mourn it. Not that I was surprised by that. Part of me thought he was probably just waiting for the other shoe to drop with us the entire time we were together. Things hadn't been good for us in a while, so really, it was just time to end it. Deep down I knew that, but accepting it was the hard part.

I stayed in bed for as long as I could before I once again found myself trying to wiggle out of Eric's hold. Easier said than done when he had me practically crushed against his chest. All of my wiggling didn't do either of us any good. He didn't just have morning wood, he had a morning log.

"Sook, I'm sorry, but if you don't stop wiggling around you're going to have a stain on your back."

"Well let me out that anaconda grip of yours and it won't be a problem," I smirked over my shoulder.

He hadn't opened his eyes, but that wasn't surprising. Eric wasn't a morning person.

"I don't know, it feels kind of nice," he teased, but let go of me anyway.

I rolled over to face him and said, "Not that I couldn't really use some of that kind of attention right now, but I think the two of us fucking would be a terrible mistake."

"You're right, it would," he agreed. "Which is why I'm going to go hop in the shower and take care of this."

"Thanks for the warning," I said, and got out of bed, making sure to tug my Batman shirt back into its proper place.

"You're welcome," he grinned, and rolled out of bed. His pants were tenting comically.

"Jesus, a family of five could go camping in there," I couldn't help staring.

"Thank you," he said, smiling proudly.

I laughed and forced myself to look elsewhere because... yeah, I didn't need to think about it too much.

Eric went to the bathroom and I went to the guest room to retrieve my laptop. It dawned on me that I really shouldn't keep sleeping in Eric's bed. It was going to start getting confusing if I did, and I resolved that for the duration of my stay I was going to sleep in a bed by myself. Two nights of snuggling was enough. I needed to get used to sleeping alone again, as much as that was going to suck.

I was down in the kitchen making coffee and checking my voicemails on my work phone when Eric came down stairs, sans tent.

"I feel much better," he sighed.

"Glad to hear it," I said, but didn't look at him because the images in my brain just wouldn't allow for it.

"What's on the agenda today?"

"I need to get some work done, and Jason said he would be happy to help with the moving out process later, so he'll be coming by to pick me up when he gets off of work," I told him.

"Alright. Mind if I go to work and get some things done until then?"

"Of course not. I don't expect you to put your life on hold for me. You've done more than you know already, and I really do appreciate it," I said as I ended my connection to my mailbox, and set my phone aside.

"I know," he smiled, and went to the fridge. "I'll be back by the time Jason gets here though. I'm still going."

"That's fine," I got up and poured myself some coffee. "Oh, and when I bring my stuff back here, I'll take everything I have in your room and put it in the guest room. I don't think I should sleep in your bed anymore."

"You're starting to fall for me, aren't you?" he said. "I knew it was only a matter of time."

"Ha! No, that's not it. It's that my head is all fucked up right now, and I don't want to get the signals crossed somehow, and I don't want to put you in an awkward position because I feel lonely or sad. I don't want to take advantage of you that way," I explained, and hoped it made sense to him.

"I understand that. Just know that if you need a hug at three in the morning, I'll be in my bed."

"I'll keep that in mind," I promised.

"Good," he said.

Eric had a quick bowl of cereal while I started checking my email. I'd called my boss the night before and told her I was going to either need to take a few days off, or work from home while I got things settled. Lucky for me, Elle was the understanding sort, and since I wasn't usually the type to take unnecessary time off (and I had all my sick days still for that year) Elle was willing to cut me a little extra slack.

So while Eric was at the bar, doing whatever he was doing there, I was answering emails and phone calls at his place. Jason called me when he was on his way over, and it was a little earlier than I was anticipating. I called Eric to let him know Jason was on his way, and then shut down my work stuff so I could make up a list of the things I was taking from the apartment. My personal stuff was obvious, but there was some stuff in the kitchen and the living room that I wanted.

Like the standing mixer in the kitchen? I was taking that. Alcide didn't cook anyway, and he didn't even know how to use the damn thing. No way was I going to shell out another three hundred bucks for one of those things. As far as I was concerned he could keep the furniture. None of it was really to my taste anyway. I'd made a lot of concessions to make Alcide happy when we decided to move in together.

So I made up my list of the things I wanted, and decided to call Alcide to tell him so that he wouldn't be shocked when he got home to see what was gone. Much to my surprise he actually answered the phone.

"What's up, Sook?" he asked like it was just any other day.

"I just wanted to call and let you know that Jason and Eric will be coming with me to get my stuff. I'll have pretty much everything out tonight, but if there's some stuff that doesn't fit in the truck I'll come by tomorrow and get it on my way home from work," I told him.

"That's fine. What... what stuff are you taking?" Alcide asked.

I found it interesting he didn't say anything about the money that I'd taken out of our bank account. I could have split the amount right down the middle, and that was probably what I should have done, but I didn't want there to be a problem later. Elle had emailed me the paperwork so I could stop the direct deposit of my paycheck into that account, but it would take a pay cycle before that went through, and I didn't want Alcide holding my paycheck hostage because he was pissed off at me.

"I'm taking everything I came into this relationship with, plus the standing mixer in the kitchen, the dining room table..." I gave him the list of things I was taking, and waited for him to argue with any of my choices.

"That's fine," he said when I was finished. "You're not taking the living room TV are you?"

Of course he would be worried about that. We had a huge flat screen TV mounted on the living room wall. Getting it down would be a bitch, but transporting it would be even more difficult.

"No, Alcide, Lucille is perfectly safe," I said, rolling my eyes.

He'd named our fucking TV, but I supposed it made sense since he spent more time with her than he did me anyway. The asshole breathed a sigh of relief on the other end of the line.

After a moment of silence Alcide asked, "Are you sure you want to do this, Sook? Can't we fix this? When we're good together it's-"

"I know," I cut him off. I knew how he was going to finish that sentence, but it didn't matter. "Alcide, the problem is that we don't want the same things, and if I stay with you we're just going to end up right back here in a couple of months. I can't keep doing this with you. I love you, and I probably always will on some level, but I can't... I won't give up the things I want. I deserve better than that, and you deserve to be with someone who wants the same things you do and won't always be pressuring you for something you can't give. It's just better this way."

He sighed heavily, and maybe it was finally sinking in that I was really serious this time, that it really was over between us. "I don't want you to go, Sook," he said in a tone so sad that I felt my heart break all over again.

"I don't have a choice," I said, my voice cracking. "I have to walk away while I still can."

"Where are you gonna go?" he asked.

"For the time being I'm staying with Eric," I confessed, and I heard a snicker or a snort of some kind come from Alcide. "He's my friend, Alcide. Regardless of what you think, Eric and I have never had sex, never felt each other up... none of it. He's just my friend."

"Sook, you can't really be that blind to the way he looks at you. Trust me when I say that if you put the offer down, he'd pick it up," Alcide said.

"Name a guy that wouldn't, and I'll show you a liar!" I argued right back. "Whatever, the point is that I'm not currently, nor have I ever, fucked Eric. Not that it matters anymore since you and me aren't a couple and who I have sex with is no longer your business."

Alcide and I started arguing over the phone, and we were still yelling at each other when Eric walked in about a half an hour later. I must have looked scary mad since he stopped in his tracks, and then quickly retreated to give me a little privacy while I yelled at my thick as a brick ex-boyfriend. When we finally got off the phone I wanted to throw the damn thing against the wall, but that wouldn't do me any good. Instead I went to the living room and repeatedly punched a pillow on the couch, and then flopped down when I'd burned off my adrenaline from the fighting.

Breaking up with someone was fucking exhausting.

An awful thought ran through my mind that maybe I should just fuck Eric and get it over with, just to spite Alcide. I was pretty sure the sex would be phenomenal, but what would the aftermath be after the orgasm haze faded? I loved Eric. He was my best friend, and I couldn't use him like that. I wouldn't go down that road just to get back at my ex. Eric might joke about being willing to take one for the team, but I knew deep down he didn't want to ruin our friendship any more than I did.

Things with him were confusing sometimes. Alcide hadn't been wrong about the looks Eric sent my way from time to time, but I never paid it much mind. I figured it was just longing for a girlfriend in general. He was always telling me that he wanted to find a girl as awesome as me, but never seemed to be able to do that. I had introduced him to girls over the years, and Eric had no trouble meeting girls all on his own. He didn't really need my help finding a girlfriend, not that Eric wanted one.

Frankly, that was one of the major things that kept me from pursuing a different kind of relationship with Eric. I loved him hard for not putting himself in my path when he knew I wanted to get married and have kids someday, when he didn't want those same things. I thought it was a shame, though, because Eric would make a fantastic husband. I knew it because of how well he took care of me, and we were just friends. It stood to reason he would be in love with the woman he married, so she, whoever she was, was one lucky lady.

I honestly believed that someday a girl would come along that would completely bowl Eric over, and all that commitmentphobe bullshit would go right out the window. Eric wasn't a guy who was destined to be forever alone; he just needed to find the right girl.

But that was another project for another time. Jason's horn honked in the driveway, and big hands started to pull me up off the couch. I opened my eyes to see a concerned and pissed off Eric hovering over me.

"I changed my mind. If he shows up at the apartment, you can punch him," I told Eric, and he smiled.

"Gladly," he said. "Now let's get going so I can do that."

"In the span of thirty seconds he tried to talk me into getting back together with him, and then he accused me to cheating. I don't get it!" I said as I put my shoes on.

"Cheating? You?"

"Yup," I popped the 'p.' "Actually, it was more about the way you look at me when you think no one's watching."

"The way I look at you? What? Like you're my friend and I care about you?"

"According to Alcide you have 'fuck me' eyes sometimes when you look at me," I sighed, and reached for my jacket. "Don't worry about it, Eric. It's all bullshit. He just wants to hurt me, or try to hurt you... I don't even know why he's doing this."

"Well he's not wrong," he chuckled. "I'm sure I do look at you like that sometimes. You and I both know that we'd bang if there wasn't this whole friendship thing between us."

"Maybe," I shrugged.

"It's okay, Sook. Our bangable status doesn't have to be on the table for discussion," he smiled. "Let's go get your stuff."

Jason arrived a few minutes later, and I rode with him so I could tell him what had happened with Alcide. Eric followed behind us in his car. Since I didn't have much in the way of furniture that I was taking with me, we should have been able to take everything in one trip. I really didn't want to go back to the apartment if I didn't have to.

Thankfully Alcide wasn't at the apartment when we got there. I headed for the bedroom and started getting my clothes out of the closet, while the boys took down the dining room table and chairs. Boxing up my CDs and DVDs was what was going to take the longest, and Jason had been kind enough to pick up some boxes for me on his way over. I wanted the dishes as well, but I wouldn't take them until Alcide bought replacements. He had agreed to box them and take them over to my parents' house for me.

I really hoped we could do things as amicably as possible, and things were going as okay as could be expected until Alcide turned up at the apartment under the guise of picking up his forgotten gym bag so he could go work out. Personally, I think it was just the opportunity he was looking for to poke the blond bear in the living room.

"Just ignore him," I whispered to Eric as Alcide headed back toward the bedroom when I saw Eric's fist ball up.

"He takes a swing at ya, I got your back," Jason said quietly to Eric.

"And if I take a swing first?" Eric asked him.

"Stop it, both of you," I said firmly, hoping to nip that shit in the bud.

Eric didn't say anything else, but remained tense. Alcide got his bag and came out of the bedroom without saying a word. He looked at me for a few seconds, but anything we wanted to say to each other was best said without Eric or Jason around. He left the apartment without saying another word, and I could tell Eric was disappointed he didn't get the chance to kick Alcide's ass.

We finished packing and taking down what we could for the night. There were a few things I was going to have to come back for later, but it wasn't a big deal. Jason took what was in the truck over to my parents' house. They had agreed to let me stay with them temporarily until I figured out where I was going to go next, and I was thankful for it. I didn't plan to stay home with them forever, but in the meantime it might be nice to have my Mom around when I got bummed out. She knew when to let me wallow and when to tell me to snap out of it. She would push me at all the right times.

I thanked Jason for all of his help, and then got in Eric's car to go back to his house with him. I tried not to, but we hadn't made it more than two blocks from the apartment before I started crying silently while staring out my window.

Again, Eric didn't say anything, and instead he reached over and held my hand. I was glad he didn't try to cheer me up just then. I just needed a little time to grieve so I could let it go and really get over it. Trying to pretend like I was fine was no good. I would much rather sink into my feelings and really experience them than try to push them away and pretend like they don't exist.

Twenty minutes later we were pulling into Eric's driveway, and we didn't say much while we unloaded my stuff from the car. On the drive back I decided I was only going to spend another night or two with him, and then I was going to my parents' place. I couldn't keep cramping his style, even if he said it wasn't a problem. I couldn't hide out with Eric forever.

"Thank you for all of your help," I said once we were back in the house, and I wrapped him in a big hug.

"You don't have to thank me," he said. "I'd do anything for you."

"I know; I still appreciate it and I want you to know it," I said, and squeezed him hard. "Tomorrow night I want you to get me extremely drunk."

"I can definitely do that," he said, and squeezed me back.

"Good," I said, and let him go.

I grabbed the things I needed and took them upstairs. Eric followed behind me, and after I dropped the bags I was already holding I went down the hall to his bedroom to grab the other things I had in there. I paused for a moment to stare at Eric's bed, and for a moment reconsidered my decision to move down the hall, but quickly dismissed that idea. I couldn't let myself get dependant on him that way; it was a bad, bad idea.

When I got back to the guest bedroom Eric was sitting on the edge of the bed, and it was hard to say what was going on in his mind, but he was obviously deep in thought over something.

"You know, once I get settled in whatever new place I end up in I think I'm going to go away for a little while," I revealed, and that snapped him out of his trance.

"Where?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "Just somewhere else."

"Alone?"

"Yeah. I think being by myself for a while might be good for me. You know, restart the clocks, wipe the slate clean and all of that?" I asked, and started to unpack the things that needed to be hung up, even if it was just temporarily.

"Well if that's what you need to do..."

"It might be nice... see more of the world and what else is out there," I shrugged. "I've never really been anywhere other than the midwest. There's a lot to see that I haven't. Maybe I'm not finding what I'm looking for because I'm not looking in the right places."

"I know you don't need me to go with you, but if you do happen to want me to go along, I will. I've travelled a lot."

"No, this is something I would have to do alone. Besides, you have your life here. You have your business and all that stuff..." I trailed off, and could see the upset on Eric's face. "It's not that I wouldn't miss you if I went."

"I know, I just... What if you, you know, you'll be lonely, and maybe wherever you go will seem a lot better to you than here, where Alcide is. And you'll want to stay. But I'm not there."

"It's possible," I agreed, and went to sit next to him on the bed. "But Eric, even if I moved away we'd still be friends, right? That wouldn't change. We aren't friends now because it's convenient. At least that's not the way I feel."

"No we're not, it's just... It's like what happens in high school. Friends move away, the phone calls get less frequent, then email stops, and-"

"That only happens if you let it happen, and that wouldn't happen," I rested my head on his shoulder. "You wouldn't lose me, Eric."

"You really planning on moving away?"

"No plans, just thoughts. If that changes, I promise you'll be the first to know."

"Just remember something, okay? You love it here. You love living here. Your friends, and family are here. Going somewhere new will be like a bandaid, but it won't totally heal you like we can."

I smiled, and then lifted my head to kiss his cheek.

"It would hurt like a bitch if you left, Sook."

"I would miss you too," I put my head back on his shoulder. "But I'm sure you'd find someone to fill your time. Maybe you'd finally find a girlfriend," I teased.

"I think it's pretty obvious by this point that you're the closest I'm ever getting to having a wife."

"You don't know that. For all you know there's some girl out there in the world right now wondering where you've been all her life," I said, but he just gave me one of those looks. "But if you never find her, at least you'll have me."

"I'm pretty sure I'm just okay with having you."

"You're too good to me, Northman," I said, and wrapped an arm around him. "You know I'd be completely fucked without you, right?"

"I do. Which is why I'm pretty sure that when you get to wherever you're going, you'll miss me so much you won't be able to stay."

"You're probably right," I smiled faintly.

I wanted to thank him again for being there for me, but I knew it would just start to annoy him. Eric didn't see anything extraordinary about what he was doing for me, but then he'd never been through what I was going through. He never let himself get close enough to understand how devastating it could be to lose that person. In some ways I hoped he never found out, and in others... well, it made me sad to think that he might end up alone on purpose. He was too good of a person for that.

Unfortunately, he didn't see himself with my eyes.

* * *

**Okay, so if I remember correctly, this was the outtake where it became obvious to ME that Eric had feelings for Sookie beyond friendship. If he didn't, he wouldn't be freaking out over the idea of her leaving and she wasn't even talking about moving away permanently. This outtake will become important later on in another outtake that we wrote, so keep this in mind. Thanks for reading!**


	7. Kiss Me I'm Shitfaced

**Okay so this isn't a new outtake, but just for the sake of timelines, here's that drunken night they don't remember. Ali989969 was asking about its place, so I thought I'd throw it in here as well. There'll be another outtake up in a few minutes!  
**

* * *

Outtake: Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced

I did my best to juggle the bag of junk food and the alcohol to get my key into the lock at Sookie's condo. She needed a night of alcohol and friend time, and I prided myself on being a good friend. Plus, my date for that night fell through.

"Sookie," I called when I got the door open. Sully, her dog, came running up and almost knocked me off balance. "Hey boy, where's your owner?"

I got into the kitchen and put everything on the table, then went back to Sookie's room, where I knew she'd likely be.

"Sook?" I said as I opened her bedroom door. She was lying under her big comforter, likely not sleeping, but completely ignoring me. I debated for about two seconds whether or not I should pounce on her before I did it.

"Eric!" she squealed and tried to fight her way out from under me. "God, you weigh a ton."

"That'll teach you to ignore me," I laughed as I rolled off of her just enough to pull the blanket down and flip her on her back, then straddled her hips, effectively pinning her to the bed. "Stop moping. I have alcohol and chocolate, and will let you pick the movie and/or music."

"What are you doing here?" she whined. "I just want to be by myself right now. I don't want chocolate or booze. I want to just lay here and feel sorry for myself."

I rolled my eyes. "What's the point in that? The jackass is the one who should feel sorry for himself. You need to get liquored up and be silly."

"Look, I don't expect you to get it, but I thought I was going to marry him, okay? I deserve a little time to wallow over it," she argued, that stubborn pout fixed on her face.

"Well I think you've wallowed enough. You even smell funny."

"Asshole," she said, but cracked a small smile.

"That's what I'm talking about," I grinned. "Now get your ass up, and come drink with me."

"Fine, but I'm not getting out of my mismatched pajamas for this," she warned, as if I cared what she was wearing.

"Good, I like you with no bra anyway," I winked, and climbed off of her, and the bed.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm not taking my shirt off," she said as she sat up and slowly got out of bed, leaving her comforter askew and her pillows all at weird angles.

"We'll see about that. I brought your Achilles heel of alcohol."

"If I puke, you're cleaning it up," she warned, grumbling all the way as she followed me down the hall toward the living room. "And we're listening to sappy country songs."

I snorted, "That'll last about as long as it takes for you to get to the ranty stage."

"No it won't. I'm going to get shitfaced, listen to sappy country songs and cry on your shoulder. Deal with it."

"Again, we shall see," I said, and handed her the bag with junk food in it as I started pulling the alcohol out.

"Oh hell," she reached over and grabbed the bottle of Tequila Rose. "You aren't fucking around, are you?"

"Nope. Like you said, you wanted to marry that idiot. This requires the good stuff."

Sookie reached to open one of her cabinets and looked over her shoulder to ask, "What are you drinking? I'm assuming the Tequila Rose is too girly for you."

"I have some beer in here, and Jameson, among other things. We have everything we need to get shitfaced, and I need it _almost_as much as you do."

"What's your damage?" Sookie asked while she put ice into her glass.

"One of my regular booty calls decided to go crazy and tell me she loved me and wanted to bear my children," I sighed. I really needed to start picking them better.

"Well if you would stop fucking barflies..." she trailed off.

"I don't just fuck barflies," I scoffed. I really didn't. I wasn't picky, but I also wasn't really that much of a whore. I didn't want a diseased stick, if you know what I mean.

"Eric, I've seen the girls you hook up with, remember? You should have given that girl Emily a chance. She was nice. I liked her," Sookie poured some of the tequila into her glass, and then opened a bag of honey wheat pretzels.

"She was awful in bed."

"There was no hope of fixing that? I mean sometimes you have to train 'em a little," she said as if she had experience in that arena.

"I'm not interested in teaching. She had no confidence, like she was ashamed of her own body. That's not sexy at all. But what about you? You like training them?"

"I wouldn't say that I _like_training them, but sometimes it's a necessity. I've had my share of not so good times with guys who thought they had it wired and didn't know shit," Sookie took a big swallow of her drink. "Oh God," her eyes rolled.

"Good?" I asked.

"Amazing," she smacked her lips and grabbed a pretzel stick. "Okay, time for sappy country songs."

"Can't we skip right to the angry phase?" I whined. "I was planning to be a good friend, but I despise that shit."

"Okay, fine," she sighed, and grabbed her iPod from the charger. "Angry chick rock it is!"

"Good," I grinned, and grabbed a beer to start. "At least I can pretend it's manly music."

"We'll see if you still feel that way after I've screeched along to 'You Oughta Know' for an hour straight!" she called from the living room, and then the music started.

I followed her in, and plopped down on the couch. "Are you going to dance for me tonight?"

She snorted and then plopped down next to me before she said, "If I drink enough of this I might."

"So do you want to talk about it?" I asked, figuring the direct approach was best with her.

Sookie shrugged and said, "I wanted to marry him and he didn't want to marry me. What else is there to say? He knew how I felt when we got back together. I knew how he felt when we got back together. I was an idiot thinking he was going to change his mind. I should have just walked away, but noooo... I had to do the desperate girl thing and hang on to a guy. He's an asshole, but I'm an idiot."

"You're not an idiot, you're hopeful. You always see the good in a person. He is an asshole, I'll give you that," I said. I really hated that guy. "This will be a good thing in time."

"Sure it is! I can trade in Sully, by a whole mess of cats and start scaring kids on Halloween with my bitter, spinster costume, which, incidentally, will be the same clothes I wear every day," she said dramatically and I laughed. "It's not funny, Eric! I'm going to end up old and alone."

"Jesus Christ, you're how old?"

"Twenty-six," she said quietly, but quickly added, "I don't see what that has to do with anything."

"You think that, at twenty-six, you're in danger of becoming a spinster?" I scoffed. "You're young, you're fucking hot, you have a career you love and a home of your own. You're independent and confident, and you have plenty of years still to find someone to share yourself with. Stop being so melodramatic."

Sookie drank more of her tequila and rested her head against the back of the couch. She put her feet up on the coffee table, crossing her bare legs at her ankles. Her head rolled toward me and she said, "I should just start dating guys like you. You know... guys who don't want a commitment. Maybe I shouldn't be serious about anyone for a while and see what happens. Those girls on _Sex and the City_can have sex like men. Why can't I?"

"It's not a bad thing to have sex like a man, but honestly, you deserve better than dating a guy like me," I admitted. "You know what you want out of life, so you need to find a guy who wants the same things. Just take some time to be single for a while before jumping back in again."

"Oh, I'm not dating again for a while. There might be a cheap one nighter in my future, but that's it," she sighed and drained the rest of the tequila from her glass. "I should have brought the bottle with me."

"You sure a one nighter is what you need right now?" I asked.

"Well not tonight," she laughed a little harder than necessary.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "You know what I mean. You never come out of those feeling good about yourself."

"Can you just let me have the fantasy that it will fix me? It will keep me from changing playlists," she said and got up off the couch.

"I'm only looking out for you."

"I know," she smiled at me and then went to the kitchen to retrieve the bottle of Tequila Rose. When she came back she refilled her glass and then sat down Indian style next to me. "We're one heck of a pair, aren't we? I can't find love, and you're always running from it."

"I'm not running from love," I protested. She was always on me about that. "And you can too find it, you just haven't found the right one yet."

"Okay, I'm officially calling bullshit," she said in an animated fashion. "Every single girl you've 'dated' since I met you, you've come up with a reason to dump her before things got too serious. You're going to have to let someone in eventually, Eric."

"Maybe I will, _eventually_."

She shook her head and said, "I realize it probably doesn't mean much coming from me right now, but believe me when I tell you that you're missing out. The hardest part about breaking up with Alcide is losing my friend," her eyes started to water. "Even if things weren't clicking on a romantic level, he was always a good friend."

"Hey," I said, and pulled her into me so she could cry if she wanted to. "If he was a good friend, he wouldn't have strung you along for so long."

She nodded, but by the way she was breathing I knew she was crying. Sookie tried to disguise her sniffles, but when she sat up again there were tear tracks and mascara smudges under her eyes.

"It takes two," she shrugged. "It's not fair to blame him for everything."

"I guess, but you were always clear about what you wanted. Your only mistake was believing he'd change."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened her eyes again she said, "I don't want to talk about Alcide anymore. Let's just drink way too much and play cards or something."

I wanted to press on with the Alcide stuff to get it out of the way, but it was best not to piss her off. She'd open up more about it later.

"I vote for Bullshit," I said, and reached for the decks of cards she had on the shelf under her coffee table.

"Works for me," she said and drank everything in her glass. "God, I forgot how delicious this is."

"What did you do with the pretzels?"

"In the kitchen," she took the deck of cards from me and started to shuffle them.

"I'll get them," I said, and got up. "Want anything else from in there?"

"Bring the Jameson. Every hand someone loses, they take a shot," she said and moved to sit on the floor instead.

"Good plan," I grinned, and went to the kitchen to retrieve the alcohol, food, and shot glasses. When I came back in the room, Sookie was looking mopey again. "Stop it."

"What?" she asked innocently. "I wasn't doing anything."

"You're feeling sorry for yourself again," I said, and sat on the floor in front of the table. "Why feel bad that you're losing someone who doesn't want the same things as you?"

"You've never been in love before, Eric. You don't get it," she shook her head.

"Maybe not, but that makes me someone who can look at things objectively. Maybe you should listen to me."

"Or maybe you should try to understand that it feels like a death, but he's not dead. He's out there, living his life and doing whatever he wants, but I don't get to be a part of that anymore. It hurts, okay? I can't just turn it off because it makes _you_uncomfortable."

"It doesn't make me uncomfortable, Sook," I said seriously. "It makes me upset, to see you so upset, and I want to make you not so upset. And I'm sure he's not just out there living it up. Losing someone like you probably hurt him too."

"Eric, can we _please_just not talk about this anymore? I really don't want to think about him right now. I know you want to help me and I really, really appreciate it, but I need to process all of this on my own," she said sadly and handed me the deck of cards.

"Sure, Sook," I gave her a small smile. I definitely didn't want to make things worse.

Sully came over and lay down next to her on the floor, setting his head in her lap. "You know, Sull, you're the only man in my life that I can count on sometimes," she said as she petted his head, and I cleared my throat.

"Excuse me?"

"You know what I mean," Sookie looked up at me. "You know you're my best friend."

"And you know you can count on me for anything, right?"

"I know," she said, and lay back, shifting her legs so her feet were planted on the floor. She reached up and grabbed the iPod remote from the coffee table. She scanned through songs until she found one she liked. "Yes! Grease!"

A brief flash of happy passed through me before I went into panic mode. My love of musicals was my deepest, most guarded secret, and I didn't want her to have that kind of ammunition on me.

"Ugh, I hate Grease," I complained, but focused on dealing out the cards.

"Shut up! I know you know the words to this song," Sookie said and started to sing the Olivia Newton John part.

"Everyone in the free world knows the words to this song," I rolled my eyes.

"So? Sing it with me," she insisted. "I should get a pair of pants like the ones she wears at the end of the movie. What good is my big ass if I don't show it off?"

She was definitely buzzed.

"You would look so hot in that outfit," I admitted. It really wasn't a secret that I found Sookie to be a hottie.

"I'd probably have to be sewn into pants like those though. That's a lot of work for pants. She should have worn a skirt. You know, like... a skirt," she sat up and reached for the tequila.

"She did have to be sewn into those pants," I said.

Sookie raised an eyebrow in my direction and said, "That was random."

"Just something I saw on TV once that stuck," I shrugged.

"Oh! New rule!" Sookie grabbed the bottle of whiskey. "Anytime someone mentions Alcide, a shot must be taken."

"By both of us? Because that is a fast, fast way to get you plastered."

"Either that, or it's a good way to make sure that he doesn't come up in conversation again," she set the bottle on the coffee table. "You in, or are you afraid I'll drink you under the table again?"

"Oh I'm in," I agreed. "You couldn't drink me under the table if you tried."

"I don't know... I seem to recall someone losing his shit after three Jagarbombs last summer," she taunted.

"But there is no Jagar here."

"Convenient," she stuck her tongue out at me.

"I'm strategic," I grinned.

"Yeah," she snickered, "we'll just use your word to save time."

"Uh huh," I laughed. "Let's just play cards."

"Fine," she shrugged and then started flipping through the songs on her iPod. "You might get your wish. I feel like dancing."

"As long as you don't make me dance with you, we're good."

"You danced with me at the bar's Christmas party," she reminded me. "You weren't even drunk either."

"Fine, but Sully can't watch."

"Because he might video it on my phone and then put it on YouTube for the whole world to see?" Sookie gigglesnorted. She was rapidly approaching drunk.

"Yes, for that exact reason," I laughed.

"Dork," she muttered and reached for her glass.

"I feel like you're probably not into cards right now," I said, and set the ones in my hand down. "I vote for dancing then."

"No, no, we can play. I'll be serious," she took a quick drink and picked up her cards. "What are we playing again?"

I laughed as I took the cards from her hands. "That's exactly why we're dancing. Stand up."

Sookie got up, but it was obvious her coordination was suffering some. She grabbed her drink and finished off what was in her glass, and then picked up the remote from the table.

"Hard rock, or pop music?" she asked over her shoulder.

"Whatever you want," I said, and got up too. I drained the rest of my beer, and went to get a glass for some Jameson.

"Oh! Eminem!" she called out and then shortly after that, rap music followed.

"I can't dance to this," I hollered back.

"Yes you can! Get back in here and I'll show you," she shouted back at me.

"This should be interesting," I mumbled as I walked back in to find her in the middle of an... interesting dance move.

"I don't expect you to be able to do this," she said while she was bent into a slightly awkward position, "but we'll figure something out."

"Alright," I said as I set my glass down. "Teach me."

"Here, let me get a different song going," she pushed a couple of buttons on the remote and something with a beat that could actually be danced to started to play. "Stripper music," she giggled at me, and then put my hands on her hips.

"Isn't stripper music for chicks to dance to?" I asked, but went with it.

"Just shut up and do what I tell you to," she said and wiggled in front of me in a way that was very fun to watch, but she probably shouldn't keep doing.

"Yes, Yoda."

Over the next half hour Sookie made a series of moves that tested my self-control. Thankfully, the tequila started to really catch up with her and when she complained that Alcide never danced with her, she took her first shot of Jameson.

"Ugh, this stuff is awful," she made a face after she swallowed the liquor.

"But it does wonderful, wonderful things," I grinned.

"Is it just me or is it really hot in here?" she asked, lifting her t-shirt to fan herself.

I sighed dramatically and said, "It's me."

"I want to go stick my head in the freezer," she said, and started stumbling toward the kitchen, presumably to make good on her proposal.

"Hey now," I said, and grabbed her hand to pull her back. "I think I'm not drunk enough yet. We need to focus on that."

"No one's stopping you from drinking while my head is in the freezer. Besides, I didn't eat dinner," she giggled and started walking again. Well, sort of walking.

"If you eat now, you're going to lose momentum."

"I wasn't planning to eat," she opened the freezer door and sighed with relief. "Mmm... much better."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, let's talk about the man of the hour again while you're cooling off."

"Who would that be?" she asked while rubbing an ice cube on her forehead.

"Your ex."

"Nope, not going there. I don't want anymore Jameson," she shook her head. "You know what I want? A shamrock shake. I would give my left tit for one of those right now."

"We'll freeze the Jameson rule for right now then. And too bad, because we're both too drunk to get one."

"Why do you want to talk about him so much?" Sookie took her head out of the freezer. "Oh my God! Are you gay? Is that why your relationships with chicks never last? It is, isn't it!"

"Yes, Sookie, I'm gay. I'm gay, and I'm in love with your ex boyfriend."

"I knew it!" she giggled. "Your mother is going to be so disappointed when she finds out that she won't be having any grandchildren."

"Oh shut it. I'm not gay. I just read online that you're supposed to get the girl to bitch about the ex while drunk."

"Where did you read that?" she laughed. "That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. I can bitch about him just fine when I'm sober. Now all I want is to get cool... and maybe a little naked."

"No, no," I said, and started backing away. "You are not getting naked with me here."

"I wasn't suggesting that!" she rolled her eyes and slammed the refrigerator door. "And you are obviously not drunk enough or you wouldn't care."

"Then help me get more drunk."

"Am I supposed to tackle you and force feed you Jameson?" she attempted to push herself up onto the counter. "And where's the chocolate? If I can't have a milkshake, chocolate will do."

"Right here," I said, and tossed her a bag of Dove chocolate from the table. "And I'm getting there. It just takes me longer. I'm not as tiny as you."

"So go get the bottle, mister," she pointed to the living room, and then ripped into the chocolate.

"Alrighty."

I went to get the bottle, and grabbed my half empty glass too. "So if I get drunk enough, will you finally let me see your tits?" I asked when I got back to the kitchen.

She snorted and nearly choked on her chocolate. Once she dislodged it from her windpipe Sookie looked me dead in the eyes and said, "If you get drunk enough, yes, I will show you."

"Very nice," I grinned, and downed what was in my glass, then filled it up again. "I've always wondered what your nipples are like."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. That's a big thing for guys. I think you probably have the little pink, perky nipples."

Sookie looked down her shirt, then up at me and gave a coy smile when she said, "You'll just have to wait and see."

"Tease," I grinned, and took another drink. My throat burned, but I was finally starting to feel a good buzz. "If you want, I'll show you my cock."

"Uh, no, that's okay," she said and stuffed another piece of chocolate in her mouth.

"What? You don't want to see it?" I was legitimately shocked. "Don't girls wonder about that shit?"

"Sure they do, but I don't know... it'd almost be like seeing my brother naked," she cringed. "I might be drunk, but I'm not _that_drunk."

"Does that make me a perv for wanting to see your tits?"

"No, I think it makes you a guy. A _straight_guy," she giggled and threw a piece of chocolate at me.

"Hey, don't throw that shit. It was expensive," I said, and started looking for the little piece on the floor. "And yes, I'm quite straight. I've never had a thing for fucking guys up the ass."

"You could be a bottom," she said and I nearly whacked my head on the kitchen table in my rush to stand up.

"Oh hell no," I said, and went after her. She didn't move fast enough, and I was able to pick her up off the counter and carry her to the couch, where I proceeded to find all her most ticklish spots. "Say uncle!"

"Never!" she squealed and wiggled under me. "Hey! I bet," she paused to laugh, "I bet if you were under a chick you wouldn't care!"

"What the hell would that even be?" I asked, genuinely interested. "Like, being fucked up the ass by a girl?"

"I don't know," she continued to laugh so hard that tears were rolling down her cheeks. "I'm going to pee if you don't cut it out!"

"Then say I'm not gay!"

"I said you were straight when you wanted to see my boobs," she tried to curl into a ball. "If I show you now, will you get off of me?"

I stopped, and sat back. "Deal."

Sookie rolled off the couch and headed for the kitchen, giggling as she went.

"Hey! Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna need another shot of Jameson for this!" she called out.

"This is gonna be awesome," I said to myself giddily, and made myself comfortable on the couch.

I knew Sookie had taken her shot when I heard her make that same gagging sound as before, and then she came back into the living room with a goofy smile on her face.

"You better etch this into your brain because it's never happening again," she warned me.

"Wait, before you show me, we need to agree on how long I get to look. I don't want any of this crap where I only see for a split second."

"Okay," she shook her hair back over her shoulders. "How long do you think is fair?"

"A full minute."

"What? No way!"

"Okay fine, thirty seconds."

She stared me down for a minute but then said, "Fine. Thirty seconds, but that's it."

"Awesome," I said, and tossed her my cell phone. "Use the stopwatch on it."

"I can count," she tossed the phone aside.

"You can also lie."

"So you count," she shrugged. "Do you want anything to obstruct your view?"

"Nope," I said. "Okay then. Whenever you're ready."

Sookie took a deep breath, turned around and took off her shirt. It felt like time stopped as she slowly turned around and dropped her hands.

"Holy. Shit." I said. My jaw was hanging slack, and my dick definitely stiffened in my pants. Her boobs were fucking perfect. So round, and soft-looking. I wondered if she'd let me touch them. I wondered if I could ever get a one night stand out of her. No, I needed to focus. Tits. Boobs. Sookie's boobs. Don't drool. I wasn't even sure how long I'd been staring at them.

"Ten more seconds," she warned me.

My eyes widened, and I refused to let myself blink for those last ten seconds. Best tits ever.

"Annnnnnnnnd time," Sookie said and covered her chest with her hands.

"Fuck," I said, and finally blinked. "I'm not gonna lie here, I got a half chub."

She turned bright red, wrapped one arm over her boobs and bent down to pick up her shirt. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."

"Oh I did," I said. "Now I just have to figure out how to get you to let me touch them."

"Awww you should have bargained for that," she snickered and turned away from me to put her shirt back on.

"I didn't know they were going to be _that_awesome at the time! Also, the alcohol clouded my judgment."

"Poor baby," she teased and then flopped on the couch.

"Can I just..." I reached out to her chest, but she slapped my hand.

"You had your chance," she giggled.

"One day," I sighed.

"Don't hold your breath," she sighed and sat up a little more. "Besides, they're just boobs. I see 'em every day. They aren't that special."

"To you, maybe. But I'll definitely get to touch them one day."

"Oh really? And why would that happen?"

"I don't have a clue, but I'm thinking that one day you'll tell me that you find me irresistible, and you'll ask me, no, you'll _beg_me to touch them."

"Ha! You better quit drinking," she laughed and then intentionally fell off the couch. "Ever notice how much more awesome the floor is when the room feels like it's spinning?"

"Can't say I have," I chuckled, and followed her lead.

She closed her eyes and smiled, "I love this song."

"You like all the songs on your iPod."

"Of course I do," her eyes were still closed. "But I really love this song. Like if I could have only ten songs to listen to for the rest of my life, this one would be on that list."

"I wish I felt as passionately about anything as you do about music."

"There's my boobs," she nudged me and laughed some more.

"Yeah, those just moved to the top of the list," I grinned.

"You won't even remember them tomorrow," she patted my stomach.

"Oh yes I will," I said, and rolled over so I could crawl to her. "I'm remembering those for the rest of my life."

"Well, aren't you close all of a sudden."

"Does that make you uncomfortable?" I asked.

"No," she turned on her side.

"Sometimes," I said, and briefly wondered if I should continue, but the alcohol was really going to my head. "Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to kiss you."

"Be serious," she snorted.

"I am being serious!"

"Okay, so what brought that on?" she flipped onto her stomach.

"Jameson?"

"So this is just a random, drunken thought and not something you sit around your house thinking about, right?"

"Right," I nodded.

"Good to know," she said and then shocked the hell out of me when she leaned over and kissed me.

It wasn't just a quick peck either. It was a full on kiss that led to open mouths and tongue and everything, and when she finally pulled away, I was kind of breathless and giggling.

"Damn, Sookie."

"And to think, you turned down naked me earlier," she shook her head. "You're a pretty good kisser, Northman. I am pleasantly surprised."

I cocked an eyebrow at her. "Surprised? You thought I'd be bad?"

"I don't know... guys who look like you usually rely on their good looks to compensate for a lack of skill," she shrugged.

"Well I pride myself on my skills. Both in kissing, above and below the belt, and in the actual sex."

"Good for you, tiger," she patted my shoulder.

"Just ask me anytime, and I'd be happy to demonstrate," I offered. "You could use some good oral, I'm guessing."

"Oh my God, we are _so_not talking about that," Sookie covered her face.

"Why? Was Alcide really bad at it?"

"Seriously! Not. Talking. About. It."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not. It's weird to talk about it with you. I should make you drink like 4 shots for bringing this up," Sookie rolled onto her back.

"Okay, where's the bottle?"

"Still in the kitchen," she sighed and closed her eyes again.

"I'll be right back. Don't move," I said, and slowly got on my feet.

"Not going anywhere."

"Good," I said, and retrieved the bottle from the kitchen, slowly. I never should have gotten down on the floor. Standing up was like torture all of a sudden. Just as carefully, I got back down on the floor next to Sookie and took a couple swigs from the bottle before handing it over.

"I don't know if I should have anymore," she stared at the bottle with uncertainty.

"Sookie," I stared at her. "Thought you were gonna marry the guy."

"Me too, but what does that have to do with drinking more whiskey?"

"No, I meant you thought... never mind. Just trust me. More whiskey equals good feelings."

"Fine," she sighed and took another swig. "Ugh, that was disgusting."

"Wanna go back to the pink shit?"

"I think I need to go to water for a little while or I'm going to puke and pass out before midnight," she sat up slowly, pulling herself up with the help of the coffee table.

"Will you bring me back some too? That's a good idea."

"Sure," Sookie got up like it was no big deal and went to the kitchen to get us both some water. When she came back she handed me a glass, and then sat down next to me. "You know," she smiled into her glass of water, "I made out to this song once when I was in high school. Jason caught me."

"Oh yeah? Want to make out to it again?"

"Mmm, I don't know. You're a good kisser but that guy?" she fanned herself. "Amazing."

"Who the fuck did you kiss in _high school _that is better than me?"

"His name was Jake. Alcide and I had broken up for like, two weeks, and I ended up making out with Jake at a party," she shrugged.

"Then I would like to prove to you that I am a better make-out-er … or whatever," I said, placing my hand over my heart in a pledging sort of way.

"Seriously?"

"Yup."

She giggled like she was fifteen and said, "Oh sure. We'll make out, you can feel me up and then tomorrow it'll be like it never happened."

"We're two grown adults. I think we can be mature about this," I reasoned, but really, I just wanted to touch her boobs.

She put her glass down on the coffee table and asked, "How many of your female friends have you made out with in the past?"

"All... of them?"

Her jaw dropped in surprise. "You've made out with every female friend you've ever had?"

"Oh, I thought that was a euphemism for the women I've slept with," I laughed. "You're the first chick friend I've had, so, none of them."

"Not even Pam?" she teased.

"Oh god, the images," I groaned, and covered my eyes.

"She seems like she would be a good kisser," she said and she had to be fucking with me.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Just a thought," she shrugged. "And also, this is payback for that Alcide oral sex crap from earlier."

"Oh come on!" I sighed. "I still stand by that. I'll bet he was a selfish lover."

"Why do you even care? So you can show me what it's _supposed_to feel like?" she rolled her eyes.

"Yes," I said, honestly. "Every woman should experience a selfless lover in her life."

"I absolutely agree with that, but come on, Eric, we're not those kinds of friends," she said and took another drink of her water.

"Well I think you're just deflecting because you know I'm right about him being kind of selfish in bed," I said, and turned to look her in the eyes. "It wouldn't have to mean anything. It would just be me, giving you the best head of your life."

"That's pretty cocky of you, considering Alcide isn't the only sexual experience I have in my life," she snorted.

"But you loved him, and doesn't love make it better or some bullshit like that?"

She narrowed her eyes at me and said, "Sometimes, yes, it does. Sometimes a girl just wants to get off."

"And don't you just want to get off right now?" I asked, giving her my best sultry eyes.

Her face flamed again and she said, "Maybe, but I can take care of that all by myself just fine, thank you very much."

"Or I could take care of it for you. I'm your friend, you trust me, and you know I won't push for sex."

Really, I wasn't sure why I was trying to coax her into this, but my upstairs brain wasn't really working right.

"Is this your approach with the ladies?" she wiggled her eyebrows at me. "Here, let me get that for you," she mocked.

"It's worked more often than you know," I said, picking up the bottle of Jameson again. "Frankly, I'm just a little on edge, and I thought helping you out would help me out."

"So you thought you'd come over here, get me drunk and then talk me into... whatever it is you're trying to talk me into?"

"No, the helping you out sexually thing came somewhere between the 5th or 6th shot of Jameson."

"I see," she sighed.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Something."

"Okay, fine, I'm just... I don't know how to feel about this. My drunk brain is all kinds of on board with this plan of yours, but that teeny tiny bit of me that's still sober thinks it's a terrible idea. I just... I don't know what-"

Just to shut her up, and also to see if she really was on board with my plan, I leaned over and kissed her, hard, and much to my happiness, she kissed me back.

"Do that again," she said when the kiss broke and we looked at each other.

"Yes ma'am," I grinned, and pressed my lips against hers once more.

**SPOV**

Sweet baby Jesus in his manger, Eric was a good kisser. Like scary good. Yet, there was a part of me that hoped I wouldn't remember it in the morning because no matter what he said, or how mature we were, it would be sort of awkward. The last thing I wanted was a friends with benefits situation, and definitely not with Eric.

I probably should have stopped kissing him but the last thread of sobriety was silenced by the tequila and whiskey making their way through my system. In no time, my brain was completely on board with the making out plan, and God knows what else Eric had up his sleeve.

"Okay," I gasped for air when his lips moved to my neck, "I take it back. You're the better kisser."

"Glad you've finally come to your senses," he smiled against my neck, and kissed back up to my lips.

I shifted my position and climbed into his lap, which he didn't seem to be expecting. "Too much?" I asked when I pulled back.

"Hell no," he grinned.

"How about now?" I grabbed his hands and put them on my chest.

"Still a hell no. Not sure I can ever get too much of these," he said as he massaged them with his massive hands.

We had been going at it for a good ten minutes or so when my hips started to move against him in a slow, rhythmic pace that definitely got him going. I started to wonder if his invitation to show me his good was still on the table, but decided it was best if I leave that alone. Making out was one thing, but I would _not_have sex with him.

"Still not too much?" I asked when I was sure he was at full chub status.

"No," he said, his voice rough, and deep. And then he surprised me by flipping me under him. "Is this too much?"

"Nope," I wrapped my legs around him.

"What about this?" he asked as he ground himself against me.

I countered by pulling his shirt off. "What do you think?"

"I think you're asking for one hot make out session, that's what I think."

I wiggled around a little but managed to get my shirt off as well. Eric's eyes glazed over as I said, "Yeah, I think you're right."

He didn't say anything as he dipped his head down to familiarize himself with the girls. My breath caught in my throat as I watched him draw one of my nipples into his mouth. This was so _not_how I saw the night going when he originally pounced on me. The strange thing was that it didn't feel strange. Whether it was the alcohol or that little bit of attraction we had to one another I didn't know, but it didn't feel weird like I thought it would.

Eric spent ample time at my breasts before I pulled his face back to mine. I pushed him onto his back and climbed on top of him again. My hand glided over his denim-clad erection, and his eyes rolled back into his head. I told myself that leaving him hanging wasn't cool, especially if I was going to let him go down on me.

Yet, when my hand moved to the fly of his jeans he tensed up.

"Want me to stop?" I asked as I popped the button.

"Not really, but I don't want you pissed at me tomorrow either."

"I'm not going to fuck you, Eric, but I won't leave you hanging either. Besides," I leaned down and nibbled his neck, "didn't you offer to show me your cock?"

He growled and grabbed my hips hard. "You aren't going to make it easy for me _not_to fuck you, aren't you?"

"You're going to have to settle for a good ole fashioned hand job," I said and reached into his jeans. "No underwear?" I smirked.

"Never liked them much," he shrugged and then moved his hands to my ass. "Your ass is fucking amazing, Sook."

"Thank you," I said and then wrapped my hand around his cock.

"Fuck," he breathed against my lips.

I kissed them softly and then moved to his ear when I started stroking him. "Do you have any idea how wet I am right now, Eric?" I whispered.

He growled against and one of his hands slipped down the back of my shorts and under my panties so he could feel for himself. I gasped when I his fingertips grazed my entrance and my hand twisted on the next upstroke around his cock. Our lips met again while our hands kept moving in all the right ways.

Eric didn't push for sex, but if I would have offered it I had no doubt he would have gone for it. But then he surprised me by rolling us over again. He hovered over me and stilled my hand.

"I need to taste you, Sookie," he said in that rough, deeper voice. "Can I taste you?"

I nodded and watched the smile spread across his face. He kissed his way down my body and when he started tugging on my shorts I lifted my hips for him so he could get them off. He sucked in a breath and I realized I was naked. I started to move my hands to cover up, but he stopped me.

"Don't. You're beautiful, sweetheart," he said so sincerely that it made my heart ache a little. "If you want to stop-" he started.

"No, I'm okay," I cut him off.

"Good," he grinned and then slowly spread my legs.

I watched him watching me, and felt my heart beating wildly in my chest. Alcide wasn't selfish, exactly, but he wasn't very good at going down on me either. It wasn't his favorite thing on the menu and it showed. Judging by the way Eric was licking his lips he didn't feel the same. He kissed my inner thighs, his eyes never leaving mine. There were kisses on my lower lips and then a long lick that made me freeze.

"Look at me, Sookie," he said, and when my eyes met his he really went to work.

I won't bother comparing Alcide to Eric, but I will say that Eric was definitely more enthusiastic than even I anticipated he would be. Eric wasn't kidding when he claimed to be good at oral sex. He backed up his claim tenfold. He knew exactly what he was doing, no instruction necessary. All I had to do was lay there and try not to squirm around too much. Easier said than done.

The man was a master with his tongue. Jesus, my hips wouldn't stay still. He tried to hold me down, but the more noise I made the more aggressively he went at me. Eventually he grabbed onto my hips and moved along with the way they were rolling and thrusting toward his face. His lips closed around my clit, his tongue flicking against it just right.

"Holy fuck! Don't stop, Eric," I moaned and grabbed his hair roughly. "Don't you fucking stop!"

He growled and the vibration made my eyes roll back into my head. I felt one of his fingers at my entrance and I gasped. Our eyes met again as it slid into me, and Eric broke the seal of his lips around my clit.

"Fuck, you're tight," he groaned, and then slid a second finger into me. "You sure you don't want to fuck?"

God, I was so close to changing my mind, but I knew there would be no coming back from that. Eric would be a rebound, and it wouldn't end well. I didn't want to lose my friend because we were drunk and stupid. The sex probably would have been fantastic, but would it have been worth it in the long run? No, I didn't think it would.

"Eric," I said apologetically.

"Someday," he winked at me and then went back to work.

The build up was magnificent, and when I came I thought my back might stay permanently arched. He placed one last kiss on my clit and then got up on his knees to lick his fingers clean. His eyes blazed and he was still hard as a rock. I forced myself to my knees and pulled his face to mine. I could taste myself on him, and as we resumed making out, my hand wrapped around his cock and started stroking him again.

Eric's hands were all over me, alternating between tugging my hair and playing with my breasts. It crossed my mind how easy it would be to bend over the couch and let him fuck me, but I just couldn't let myself take that step. Instead I stroked him faster and with extra twists of my wrist. His hips started t to thrust against my hand.

My brain to mouth filter was gone so it probably took him by surprise when I said, "Your cock is so fucking big. It would feel amazing inside me."

He pulled my mouth back to his with one hand, and the other went between my legs to rub my clit fast and hard. I gasped in surprise, and rode his hand while I stroked his cock. Finally I felt him swell a little, and his balls got a little tighter.

"I'm gonna come," he warned me.

Seconds later he made good on his warning and came on my stomach. I followed right behind him. We were a sweaty, panting mess. He kept kissing me, which I didn't mind at all, but I was a little on the sticky side. I reached for a box of Kleenex on the end table, but Eric stopped me.

"Shower?" he suggested instead.

I giggled and said, "Sure."

What harm could it do at that point? We had already seen each other naked.

**EPOV**

I followed Sookie back to her bathroom, appreciating her nakedness the whole way. I couldn't believe that she'd really just given me a hand job and let me go down on her, and I wasn't entirely sure sex could have been much better than that. She was, in a word, fuckawesome.

She turned the water on, and let it warm up before pulling me in with her, a big smile on her face. I wondered if we'd regret this in the morning. Well, I wondered if _she_would regret this in the morning. I was all about living life with no regrets, and I certainly never regretted a good orgasm, which she gave me. The point was, though, that I'd made her smile, and forget about the jackass for at least a little while.

"You look good all wet," she giggled and reached for the soap.

"As do you," I grinned, appreciating the view.

"Think it'll be weird between us when we wake up tomorrow?" she handed me the bottle of soap that smelled like apples.

"It's only weird if we make it weird," I said. "I think we can wake up knowing we were friends helping each other out."

"Okay," she shrugged and turned to rinse herself off.

"I'm gonna smell like an apple," I said as I lathered myself up.

"Yeah," she laughed. "It'll be an improvement."

"There is nothing wrong with my current soap," I said, narrowing my eyes at her.

"I'm sure there isn't," she said, running her hands over her breasts as she talked.

My eyes widened slightly, and I couldn't help but stare at them.

"I'd tell you to take a picture, but I know you'd actually do it," she smirked, and then covered them up with her arms.

"I can't help that you have awesome boobs," I said. "Now scooch so I can rinse."

She moved out of the way to let me rinse and when I turned to look over my shoulder I caught her eyes staring right at my ass.

"I'd tell you to take a picture..."

"You shush!" she reached out and slapped my ass, and then stuck her tongue out at me.

"Hey now! Hands off the goods! That was a one-time thing."

"I know," she reached for the shampoo. "Besides, you'd probably get bored with me in three days and then we'd end up throwing a six year friendship down the drain."

That kind of sobered me up. "You don't really think that, do you?"

"Eric, you know I love you, but I also know you. Relationships of a romantic nature just aren't your strong suit. I know this, and I accept it. It's who you are," she said casually, as if it didn't bother her at all.

"Okay, but I don't like the idea of you thinking I'd just get bored with you and ruin our friendship for some sex."

"I think you would give it an honest try and if things got serious you'd freak out and tell me we'd be better off staying friends. Of course, by then, it would probably be too late for me and that would be the end of our relationship period. I love you too much to lose what we've already got by letting sex get in the way," she said sincerely and then slithered around me so she could rinse the shampoo out of her hair.

I frowned, and said, "Your lack of faith in me is disheartening."

"Eric, give me an example of a single relationship you've been in since I've known you that would make me think otherwise," she looked me dead in my eyes.

"You know I can't," I said. "I'm not saying you're wrong about me, just that maybe I'm not sure I like that you're right."

She smiled sympathetically and reached out to touch my arm. "Then do something about it. If you're unhappy with my assessment, do something to change it. But what I think doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. You're my best friend."

"That's sweet of you, Eric, but what you do with your life is your decision. Maybe you're not the guy that's going to get married and have kids. There's nothing wrong with that. If you're happy with your life, that's all that matters. If you're not, then you do whatever you need to so that you are," she stepped closer and kissed my cheek.

"You're too good to me," I said.

"Back at ya," she smiled and reached for yet another bottle.

"Jesus girls have to do too much in here."

"And you haven't even seen what I can do with a razor," she smirked and poured whatever was in the bottle into the palm of her hand.

"Ugh, well, I'm done. I used the apple soap on my hair. I'm just going to go towel off and put my clothes back on."

She laughed and said, "You're such a guy."

"And proud of it," I grinned. "Take one last good look at my ass, 'cause it'll be covered again in a minute."

"Ha. Ha. Just remember the same is true for my boobs," she taunted.

"Oh, well in that case, do you mind if I just stand here and watch you finish showering?"

"Oh my God, get out of here!" she threw one of those puffy things at me and I left the bathroom laughing.

I wrapped the towel I had grabbed from the bathroom around my waist, and made my way to the living room to get my clothes. I was dressed and flipping through channels by the time Sookie came out again.

"I feel much better," she said as she bent to pick up her clothes from earlier. She was dressed in a fresh pair of shorts and a tiny tank top that left little to my very over-active imagination.

"Me too," I grinned, and then yawned. "And tired."

"Yeah, that would be the buzz wearing off. It wasn't so late I'd order a pizza. I'm oddly hungry," she said and went to the kitchen to rummage in her fridge. She ended up coming back with cold pizza. "Forgot I had this yesterday for dinner. Want some?"

"Sure," I said, and took a slice.

When she was done Sookie went back to the kitchen, washed her hands and came back with a bottle of water. She took a big drink and then passed it over to me.

"I should take some aspirin before I go to sleep. I always have a horrible headache after I drink tequila," she sighed and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Yeah, I think I'm going to be feeling that Jameson tomorrow."

"I'll go get the pills before I forget and pass out by accident," she got up slowly and went back toward her bedroom.

When she didn't come back five minutes later I went to go check on her. Sookie was passed out on her bed with the bottle of Tylenol in her hand.

I smiled at her sleeping form, and crawled into bed next to her. There wouldn't be any use in waking her up, so I set the bottle on her bed stand, and covered her with her blanket.

"Sleep tight, Sook," I whispered as I curled up beside her and laid my head on her chest. It would probably be my last chance to enjoy them, and I was taking it. Not two minutes later I was out like a light.

Hours later I woke to the sound of the toilet flushing in the bathroom. My eyes opened just as Sookie came out of the other room. Her eyes were a little bloodshot, and if I didn't know any better I would think she had sex hair.

"Morning," she grumbled and then stumbled back to bed, climbing over me to get back to her spot.

"Ow," I groaned as I started feeling again. "What the hell did I drink last night?"

"I don't know," she whispered, "but whatever it was, I must have had a double."

"You do look like hell."

"Careful," she smirked with her eyes closed. "You look like you were having a very good dream."

"I do?" I asked.

She patted around until she found my hand, and then she opened her eye just enough to place it accordingly. "Yep."

"Oh," I snorted. "Yeah, I'm a guy, this happens. Don't go thinking it's about you."

"I didn't say it was," she rolled on her side. "Whatever you made me drink last night... I hate you a little."

"I kind of hate me too right now," I admitted. "It was probably that Jameson I bought. I can't even remember what we did. I swear to god if you made me do anything humiliating and took pictures again..."

She giggled and then groaned. "Hey, I didn't force you to try on my old prom dress. That was all _your_idea."

"Was not!" I said too loudly, and then moaned in pain. "I hate myself."

"It so was," she continued to laugh. "Those pictures are what will keep you from running for office someday. Who would have thought that shade of pink would be so perfect for you?"

"Shut it, Stackhouse."

"Such a pretty, pretty princess," she teased. "We need to get up. I'm starving. Let's go get greasy breakfast and see if we can piece together what we did last night. I'm wearing different clothes, so something must have happened."

"And I'm pretty sure I smell like apples," I noticed, and sniffed my arm. "Why would I smell like apples?"

"I use apple soap and you slept next to me," she shrugged, and sat up. "Come on, let's go and then we can come back here and watch movies or something."

"Okay fine," I grumbled, and let her drag me out of bed.

Sookie grabbed a pair of pants out of her dresser and put them on, and then went to the bathroom to brush out her hair. She came out a minute later with her hair up and I tried not to react when I saw her neck. There was definitely a bruise or a hickey on the side of it.

"You ready to go?" she asked, oblivious to what I saw or she would have said something about it.

"Um, yeah, Sookie? You have a hickey."

"Shut up!" she ran to the bathroom again and looked in the mirror. "What the fuck? Eric, what did we do last night?"

"I don't know!" I said. "Do you think we made out or something?"

She was quiet for a minute and I walked to the bathroom to see her scrutinizing the small mark on her neck. There was an odd sense of pride I felt at being responsible for it, even if I couldn't remember how it got there.

"Maybe," she said distractedly. "I don't remember, though. I swear to God, the last thing I remember is trying to play cards with you, and I vaguely recall something about dancing to Eminem. The next thing I remember is waking up and cursing the sun with your head on my boobs."

"You mean I finally got up close and personal with your boobs, albeit your covered boobs, and I don't even remember it?"

She rolled her eyes and said, "Poor you, and you don't even remember."

"I know! This sucks balls!"

Seriously, it did. It was no secret between Sookie and me that I really, really liked her rack.

"Well, maybe it'll come back to us after the hangover goes away," she sighed, but left her hair up and that mark on her neck on display.

"I can't believe I possibly made out with you and can't even remember it," I sighed. "Fucking alcohol. All my ideas suck."

She laughed and said, "It's not that big of a deal, Eric. It's not like we had sex."

"Oh shit, I didn't even think of that. You'd be able to tell, right?" I asked.

"If you're in proportion everywhere, then yeah, I'm sure I'd be able to tell," she smirked and walked out of her bedroom with me following behind her. "I need to let Sully out before we go eat."

"Oh, I'm definitely in proportion. My question was stupid. You'd totally be able to tell. You wouldn't even be walking right."

"Is that right?" Sookie grabbed Sully's leash and he came trotting over so she could attach it to his collar.

"Yes it is," I grinned. "And I don't even care if you think I'm being cocky. That's the subject anyway."

"Yeah, I don't need to know any more details about your junk, thanks," Sookie grabbed her keys off the hook by the door, and then flipped the deadbolt over to let us out.

"So, where are we going to eat?"

"It's a bit of a drive, but I was thinking Mr. A's so we can get some of that greasy, truck stop style food you love so much," she suggested and then whimpered when she stepped out into the sunlight. "I hate tequila!"

"And I hate you yelling," I groaned. "Mr. A's sounds really good actually. My treat since I brought the alcohol in the first place."

"Deal. I promise not to yell anymore," she smiled over her shoulder at me while Sully dragged her to the nearest tree to mark his territory.

"And I'll do my best to put out the sun for you."

"See? That's why you're my best friend. Even if you _did_give me my first hickey since I was seventeen."

"It's really been that long since you had a hickey? Hickeys are awesome. I bet you even enjoyed getting it."

"Oookay," she rolled her eyes. "Look, whatever happened last night, it changes nothing. We're not hooking up, got it?"

"Oh I got it," I grinned at her. "You couldn't handle hooking up with me anyway."

She full out laughed. Doubled over at the waist, clutching her sides, whimpering how much it hurt her head laughing.

"What the hell?"

"Oh, sweetie, you're just so precious... do you remember what I'm like when I have PMS? I think you block it out on purpose," she wiped at _actual tears_that were on her cheeks.

"I'm ignoring you now," I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Fine. I'll just play with Sully," she reached down and scratched the dog between his ears. "You're my main man anyway, aren't you? Yes you are. Yes you are."

"He's a dog, Sookie."

"Yeah, but he never lets me down," she said without looking up at me.

"I never let you down either," I said, kind of on the quiet side.

Sookie was quiet for a moment, looking like she was lost in thought and then she slowly turned toward me and asked, "Didn't we have a conversation like this last night? I was lying on the floor petting Sully, and I made a similar comment and you got all offended, and then a song from Grease started playing. Do you remember that?"

I thought hard for a minute, but all I got out of it was a headache.

"No, I don't remember it."

"Well, then I'll say it again. Eric, you're my best friend. I know I can count on you," she smiled at me and shielded her eyes from the sun.

"Good," I smiled. "As long as you know it."

"Come on," she reached for my hand, "let's go get breakfast."

I took her hand in mine and smiled. Friends for life, I just knew it.

* * *

**Thanks for reading (again)!  
**


	8. The Tide is High

**Right, so here's the new outtake, and this one made me LOL like a boss at some places while Scribe was giving me the epic squinty face she makes in chat. I'm pretty sure you'll know it when you get to the part in question because it's HILARIOUS. Enjoy!**

* * *

Outtake: The Tide is High

I wanted to punch her in the face. Hard.

I had seen Eric with plenty of girls in the many years that we had been friends, but fuck me if Isabel wasn't the worst thing that ever happened to him. Of course I sucked it up because she made him happy, and since no one else seemed to have a problem with her besides me, I decided it was best if I just kept my opinion to myself. Thank fuck I had Tara to vent to whenever Isabel got on my nerves, and that was pretty damn frequent.

If I heard the words 'honey bear' leave Eric's lips one more time I was going to go on a killing spree.

Tara suggested that maybe I was jealous of Isabel, and maybe to some extent that was true. Since the two of them started dating, my time with Eric had been cut shorter than usual. I felt weird about being a third wheel, and I didn't want to intrude on their time together since I knew how little free time Eric had to begin with. Not to mention, like I said, Isabel got on my last fucking nerve.

Thanks to some reliable intel from Pam, I learned that Isabel talked shit about me behind my back to some of the waitresses at the bar, and she was particularly unhappy with the fact that I had a tendency to wear low-cut tops. So just to piss her off, I made sure to wear them as low as possible when I knew she was going to be around. Bitch.

"Sookie," Isabel said in greeting. "Nice... dress."

"Thank you," I said with a completely fake smile, but it was the only one Isabel had ever seen on my face. "I found it at a thrift store last summer. Isn't it cute?" I asked, and turned one way or another, showing off the dress.

"Oh a thrift store? That explains why you couldn't find one in your size," she said, and like always, she timed her stupid little zings right as Eric would walk up.

"Hey Sook," he smiled. "You look hot. Got a date?"

The epic glare Eric was receiving from the leech at his side made up for her attempt at calling me fat, and I said, "No, I just felt like getting all dolled up."

"Well you shouldn't waste it. Isabel and I are going dancing tonight. Want to come with us?"

"Oh, I don't want to intrude," I said politely. Really, I would have loved to ruin Isabel's evening, but I didn't want to be that petty either. "Besides, I'm sure I'll find someone to dance with here. You know how busy it gets here on Saturday night."

"Yeah, but I want you to come. We haven't done much lately," Eric said, and Isabel decided to chime in.

"Honey," she said. "Sookie doesn't have to come if she doesn't want to, no matter how much we'd both love it."

Bitch was baiting me, and she was more than likely counting on me being the bigger person. I debated for all of three seconds before I said, "Well, if it means that much to you both, I would love to come along. You're sure I won't be a third wheel?"

_Take that, you money grubbing whore._

Isabel shot me a look that, if it could, would have ripped my hair out, as Eric said, "No! Of course not. Maybe we'll even find you a guy. My approval is necessary of course."

"Maybe," I shrugged. "I'm not really looking to get attached to anyone right now."

"That's fine. You just need a fun night anyway."

"Yes, I do. Lately it's all work and no play," I fake pouted, and Isabel rolled her eyes.

"Then you shall have some play," he smiled. "Are you good to go? We were getting ready to head out."

"Yep," I said, and tossed back the rest of my drink that was sitting on the bar. "Let's roll."

Isabel made a big show of putting Eric's arm around her as we walked out of the bar together. Getting into Eric's car was a bit of a production, seeing as how the dress I was wearing wasn't really designed for climbing in and out of a back seat, but I managed to make it work.

"So, Sookie," Isabel started as Eric pulled out of the parking lot. "How long has it been for you?"

"That's kind of a personal question, Iz," Eric said.

"No, it's okay. Are you asking me how long it's been since I had sex, Isabel?" I leaned forward so that my head was between the two of theirs.

"Yes," she said, and reached over to put her hand on Eric's thigh.

I could tell that Eric was uncomfortable with this line of questioning, and usually I wouldn't talk about it but since it was Isabel that brought it up...

"About two months. The last guy I dated had the most amazing ton-"

"Hey," Eric interrupted with an uncomfortable laugh. "I'm thinking those details are better for girls only bathroom trips."

"Oh calm down, Eric," I patted his shoulder. "I'm sure your tongue is even more magical. Of course, I wouldn't know anything about that. Care to share, Isabel?"

_I could put that bitch on the spot, too._

"Eric is amazing at … that," she said, and Eric quickly glanced at her with a strange look on his face, and I had no idea why.

"Lucky girl. Most guys don't have a clue," I smirked, and caught Eric's eyes in the rearview mirror. "Well they don't," I shrugged, "I'm guessing it's like girls giving head who use their teeth or can't deep throat a guy. I've never had that problem, though."

Isabel suddenly looked at Eric with disgust and snatched her hand back from his leg.

"No one's ever complained about my skills at that," she said, and looked out the window.

"Good for you," I patted her shoulder, and then sat back in my seat.

An eery silence settled in the car, and I got the distinct impression that Isabel was pissed off about something. I would have gloated a little more if it wasn't for the fact that Eric didn't look so happy sitting next to her. Thankfully he turned on the radio, and when an old Journey song started to play the two of us were howling along at the top of our lungs, while Isabel continued to sit there staring out the window like she smelled a fart.

When the song ended, Eric was smiling like a loon. "I love a good Journey sing-a-long."

"Anyone who doesn't love Journey can fuck off and die," I said with conviction. "There has to be something fundamentally wrong with you if you don't like Journey."

"Definitely," Eric nodded.

Isabel just continued to stare out the window, scowling.

"Not liking Journey is like being a musical communist, or something," I said, and turned sideways to stretch my legs out along the back seat. Finally there was a payoff to being a shorty.

"So tell me Sookie, do you get along with Pam?" Isabel said out of the blue.

"Pam and I have an interesting relationship. Sometimes we're buddies and sometimes she's the annoying sister I never wanted. Why do you ask?"

"I'm trying to figure out how to get her to like me more," she said. "I mean, Eric and I are in this for the long haul."

Eric was silent. I had to force myself not to smirk at her comment about the long haul. She was being awfully presumptuous considering they had only been dating for about two months.

"You want Pam to like you? There's a sure fire way to make that happen," I said, and leaned forward again. "The easiest way to get Pam to like you is to not be a fake bitch. Pam can sniff that shit out like a fucking bloodhound, and she can't stand people who don't have the guts to be themselves."

That was the honest to God truth, and not a dig at Isabel, even though I really did think she was a fake bitch.

"Thanks for the advice," she said quietly.

_Yeah, good luck with that._

"Oooh! The Eagles!" I said a moment later and launched myself over the back of the front seat to turn the radio up.

Eric started smiling again as we sang along, and Isabel remained quiet.

Ugh, she was such a stick in the mud! I really couldn't figure out what the fuck Eric was doing with her. She didn't seem to be interested in much of anything, and the two of them definitely didn't seem to have anything in common. I never saw him laughing with her, unless it was in an awkward sort of way to cover up some stupid shit that Isabel said. It was like watching Xander and Anya, but without the chemistry. In other words, it was bad, bad times.

Finally we pulled into the parking lot at the bar Eric had in mind, and I was kind of glad I'd never been there before. On the down side, my car was back at his bar so if I wanted to leave I was going to have to spend a small fortune on a cab to get back home. Isabel stood there like a petulant child while Eric was nice enough to help me get out of the back seat with out me flashing my hoo-hah at everyone on the way out.

"Thanks," I smiled at him, and let go of his hand.

Isabel immediately claimed it.

"So, Isabel, do you like dancing?" I asked her as we walked toward the bar's entrance. I'd never seen her dance, and I had seen her around the bar quite a bit before she managed to sink her fangs into Eric.

"I like dancing with Eric," she said, smiling up at him. He only offered a small, quick smile back.

"Just wait until you see Sookie dance," Eric said. "She's great."

"Yeah, finally my big hips come in handy for something," I said, and wiggled my way toward the door.

"They're not big," Eric said, rolling his eyes.

"They're kind of big," Isabel said, and Eric shot her a dirty look.

"No, they're big," I smiled over my shoulder. "But I don't mind it. I like being curvy. There's no mistaking me for a ten-year-old boy."

_**BURN.**_

Isabel glared at me, hard, and Eric looked like he was trying not to laugh, which was telling.

"I do love curves on a woman," he said, which didn't help his cause.

"I'm going to get a drink. Can I get you guys anything?" I asked once we were inside.

"My usual," Eric said. "I'll only have one since I'm driving."

Isabel asked for white wine. God, even her drinks were boring.

"Coming right up," I nodded, and Eric shouted at me not to spill anything, which prompted me to give him the finger as I walked away.

I got Eric his beer, Isabel's white wine and a lemondrop for myself. Just for the hell of it, I also ordered two blowjob shots. When I came back to the table carrying a tray, without having spilled anything, Eric was impressed.

"Wow, your waitressing skills have improved," he smiled.

"What are those?" Isabel asked, gesturing to the shots as she picked up her wine.

"These are a bonding experience," I said, and put one down in front of her. "It's a blowjob shot, and you do it without using your hands."

Isabel looked positively horrified at my suggestion, while Eric looked amused. I set the other glass down in front of my chair and put my hands behind my back.

"Come on, Isabel, you can do this," I winked at her.

"I... I don't know," she said.

"It's just a little Kahlua, Bailey's and whipped cream," I told her, in case she was worried about what was in it. "I promise, it's delicious. Come on, hands behind your back and open wide."

"You can do it, honey bear," Eric smiled at her, and I tried not to gag.

"Oh alright," she said, and per her hands behind her back.

"There you go. Now on the count of three, just lean down and use your mouth on that bitch," I told her, and she looked like she was either going to throw up, or die of mortification.

Ever the excellent partner in crime, Eric was more than willing to count us off. Only when he got to three, I put my head down and took the shot like a champ, while Isabel was definitely more awkward about it, and ended up dribbling some of her shot down her chin. It took everything in me not to laugh my ass off.

"That was disgusting," she said as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and pouted.

"You did fine for your first time," Eric said, rubbing her back gently.

"Hey, at least you tried it," I shrugged, and looked to Eric. "Maybe I need to go get you one of those pink pussy shots so you can show your girl how it's done."

"That's alright," Eric said, giving me a serious look when he shook his head a little.

"I'll be back in a minute," Isabel said, and got up to head for the bathroom.

"Shit, did I go too far? I was just trying to make her feel included," I said as Isabel moved through the crowd.

"You're fine, she's just... not as uninhibited as you," he said. "She won't let me go down on her."

"What the fuck?" I said because I honestly couldn't figure out why she wouldn't. "Is she unaware of your tendencies toward oral fixation?"

"Well I've told her that I love doing it, and that I would go slow with it. You know, ease her into it. But she totally refuses. We haven't even had sex with the lights on," he sighed. "I wish she was more confident. It's so much hotter to be with a chick who is."

"That sucks," I crinkled my nose. "Well, maybe she'll come around. Maybe it's just jitters, or something."

"Sookie, it's been two months," he said. "And we fucked on our first date."

In my head I was screaming for brain bleach because I didn't want to picture that in my head. Not at all.

"I hate to break it to you, Northman, but if the sex isn't good you won't be in it for the long haul like she thinks," I said, and took a drink of my lemondrop. Yummy.

"I'm hoping it'll get better," he said. "I really want to prove to myself that I'm capable of having a relationship."

"That's an admirable goal, Eric," I leaned a little closer and patted his hand. "Just make sure you're putting in the effort with the right girl."

He didn't say anything in response, but his face said it all. I was more sure than ever that Eric knew Isabel wasn't right for him.

"Wanna dance?" I asked him, hoping to get that sad puppy look off his face.

"Yeah," he smiled, and took my hand.

We found a spot on the dance floor and were shaking our asses to Usher, when Isabel appeared at Eric's side to ruin our fun, and gave me the stink eye for having my ass a little too close to her boyfriend's crotch. It probably didn't help that his hands were firmly planted on my hips.

"He's all yours, Isabel; I was just getting him warmed up for you," I smiled, and went back to our table to work on my drink.

I watched them dance awkwardly. Isabel clearly wasn't comfortable on a dance floor, and Eric started dancing like a white guy to compensate for it. I finished my lemondrop, and was on my way to the bar to get a second when I was approached by a tall, bald guy with violet eyes and big hands.

"I've never seen you here before," he said, laying one of the oldest lines in the world on me.

"First timer," I offered a small smile.

"I know. I would have remembered you," he said, his smile much bigger. "Are you here alone?"

"Uh, technically, no," I said, unsure of whether or not I wanted any attention from the guy next to me.

"Boyfriend?" he asked.

"No, I'm here with friends," I said, and glanced toward Eric and Isabel, who were no longer dancing. In fact, they appeared to be arguing about something.

"Then can I buy you a drink?" the other guy asked me, pulling my attention back to him.

"Uh, sure, I guess," I smiled.

"I'm Quinn," he held out a big hand.

"Sookie," I said, and shook it.

"So what are you drinking, Sookie?"

"I'll take a lemondrop," I smiled, and he signaled the bartender to order our drinks.

I glanced over at Eric again, and he was staring back at me, and he looked pissed.

* * *

**EPOV  
**

"First you invite her along, then you get a hard-on for her in the car, and then you're rubbing your crotch in her ass, so tell me, what the hell am I supposed to think?" Isabel almost yelled at me over the music.

"_You_ invited her too, Iz, and I didn't get a fucking boner for Sookie-"

"Bullshit, I felt it!"

"She was talking about blowjobs, for fucks sake! You know, something I love, but never get anymore," I said, and immediately regretted it. For one, it wasn't cool to pressure a girl into doing something she wasn't comfortable with. Plus, I really had gotten that boner because I was imagining Sookie deep throating my cock.

"Screw you," Isabel said, pushed me a little, then went back to the table.

I looked around for Sookie and saw her at the bar with some huge Mr. Clean look-a-like hitting on her. Just like that, whatever was left of my good mood plummeted, and I couldn't really put my finger on why, though it should have been obvious to me. She looked over at me for just a moment before her attention was taken by the guy standing next to her when he handed her a new drink. Sookie and the guy she was talking to clinked their glasses together, and sipped their drinks.

She threw her head back and laughed at something the guy said, and then they set their drinks down, and moved to the dance floor. Mr. Clean had his hands on her hips, and they were dancing face to face. His eyes cheated down to look at her cleavage more than once, but Sookie didn't seem to notice. If she did, she didn't seem to care.

As if my night couldn't have gotten any worse, I noticed Isabel getting her stuff together and heading for the door, so I took off after her.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Home," she said. "A friend is coming to get me. I'm not going to stick around and watch you be pissy over her and not me."

"Iz, come on, don't be like this. I'm sorry for what I said, but you don't have to be jealous of Sookie at all. We're just friends."

"Ha! That's so funny. I wouldn't be surprised to find out you two have been fucking behind my back for months!"

"We haven't, and you and I have only been together for two months. You're already going to pull this jealousy bullshit?"

"Can you blame me? She's so much prettier than me," she said, and then burst into tears.

Sadly, I wasn't sure if they were real or not, but I pulled her into a hug anyway.

"Would you stop comparing yourself to her?" I said. "You're beautiful, and I'm lucky to be with you."

I looked over in Sookie's direction to see that Mr. Clean was grinding himself against her, but thankfully Sookie seemed to see my distress signal because she untangled herself from that clown and came over to where Isabel and I were standing.

"Everything okay here?" she asked cautiously.

"No, it's not," Isabel said rather nastily to Sookie. "I'm leaving."

"Iz..."

Sookie glanced up at me and then put a hand on Isabel's shoulder. "Come on, why don't we go to the bathroom and get you cleaned up a little?" she suggested kindly.

"I'd rather not," she huffed. "And you can keep your slut hands off of me."

"Okay, that's enough," I said, instantly pissed off. You did not call Sookie a slut, and definitely not in front of me, especially when it was just about some stupid jealousy. "Sookie, I'll be back in a minute."

I didn't like leaving Sookie there after what Isabel had said, but I needed to make some things clear with her, and I took her outside to do it.

"What? What did I say that was untrue?" Isabel whined as we walked over to my car.

"You called my best friend a slut because you're jealous of her, that's what you said. And it's so far from the fucking truth. I love Sookie, as a friend, and there's nothing more than that between us. If you want to be with me, then you have to accept that, or you can just forget it."

"Are you giving me an ultimatum?" she asked.

What the fuck?

"No, I'm asking you to pull your head out of your ass. You don't have to like Sookie, but you have to respect that she's my friend. I don't like any of your friends, but I don't treat them like that."

"What do you mean you don't like my friends?" she asked, and I resisted the urge to bang my head against the pavement.

"They're rude, entitled, and think they can get free shit at my bar because you're dating me."

"I don't see why they..."

"If you don't see why, Iz, then I don't know why you think we can do anything in the long haul," I said. "Oh, and here comes one of your bitchy, leather looking friends now."

I started to walk away, and Isabel said, "Eric, are you breaking up with me?"

"You know what, I think I am," I said. "Call me when you grow the fuck up."

I was still standing in the parking lot, all pissed off, when Sookie came out of the bar with Mr. Clean's arm wrapped around her bare shoulders.

"Eric!" she laughed, and I could tell she was slightly drunk. "Where's Isabel?" she looked around, not seeing her anywhere.

"She went home with one of her friends," I said.

"Uh oh," Sookie said in a sing-song voice. "Somebody's in trouble."

Mr. Clean barked a laugh along with Sookie's giggle, but I wasn't laughing. Not at all. She seemed to catch on that something wasn't right, because Sookie got a hold of herself, and stepped away from Mr. Clean.

"Seriously, is everything okay?" she asked with concern.

I didn't really want to have to confess that my first real relationship had ended so soon, especially to Sookie, who had always been Miss Relationship. So I reigned in my anger and did my best to smile.

"I'll be fine," I said. "Isabel had a fit and went home with one of her friends. Do you need a ride home or are you going to go with this guy?"

Sookie looked at Mr. Clean, who clearly was hoping to take her home for the night. But like the amazing person she was, she told Mr. Clean she wouldn't ditch her friend. I stood by while she and Mr. Clean exchanged phone numbers, and then hugged goodbye. Mr. Clean went back into the bar, obviously disappointed that he wouldn't be tucking Sookie in for the night. I couldn't blame him for that one bit, but I was glad she'd ditched him.

"Come on, let's stop for a funnel cake mix on the way home," she looped her arm through mine.

"That sounds good," I smiled. "You wanna crash at my place?"

"I think that might be best. I'm a bit drunk," she said, and then stumbled a little as we walked.

"I'd say so," I said as I steadied her by wrapping an arm around her waist.

"So do you want to talk about what you and Isabel were arguing about in the bar, or should I just pretend I never saw anything?" she asked once I got her in the front seat of the car.

I closed her door and waited until I got in with my seatbelt on before I said anything.

"It was about you, actually. She's jealous of you."

"God, why?" Sookie laughed, and kicked off her shoes to put her feet up on my dashboard. I'd gotten used to that.

"She thinks you're prettier than her. She thinks you and I are fucking. And, she thinks I want to be with you."

Sookie snorted and said, "If we were fucking, I wouldn't be sharing you. Homey don't play that. And it's funny that _now_ she thinks I'm prettier than her when earlier she called me fat."

"She what?" I asked.

"She didn't actually use the word 'fat,' but she implied that my dress was too small. That's chick speak for fat," Sookie supplied, and rolled down her window.

"Jesus," I muttered. "Well you're not fat. I don't know what's gotten into her."

"She's just worried that you're getting into me," she said with a giggle. "I mean honestly, how ridiculous is that?"

"Completely," I said, in what I hoped was a convincing tone, because all that was in my head was the half-chub I'd gotten earlier at the thought of Sookie sucking my cock.

"Don't worry," Sookie said, and blindly let her hand land on my thigh. "I'm sure you two will work it out, and have bland makeup sex."

Sookie's hand on my thigh, and her saying anything about sex at that moment had me rapidly fighting another boner situation. Unfortunately, two months of not-so-great sex with Isabel made that very hard.

"Have you tried talking to her about the sex stuff? I mean, I know that's not the most important thing in a relationship, but it can definitely kill one if things aren't working," Sookie said, her head aimed toward her window so she didn't see what her hand and words had done to me.

"I try, but she always ends up accusing me of pressuring her, and that's the last thing I want to do. I want her to be comfortable with whatever we do. But really, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing in a relationship. I've never had to try and convince a girl to do it with the lights on. And if she wouldn't, it was only one night."

Her fucking hand started moving in a consoling manner, and I gripped the steering wheel tighter.

"I don't really know what to tell you. If she's hyper-defensive about it, that means she's got issues," Sookie said.

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying hard not to concentrate on how hard I was, and how good her hand felt.

"Like intimacy issues," Sookie turned her head so she was looking at me, but I could tell from my peripheral vision that she was looking at my face, and not how close her hand was to the Promised Land. "Like maybe she's secretly a freak that wants you to tie her up but she's afraid you'll think it's weird or something."

"Do you like that?" I asked, then wanted to kick myself. So not the right question in my current situation.

"I think it can be sexy if you're with someone that you trust. Giving up control like that, and trusting someone else to take care of you... very sexy," she practically purred that last bit, and at that sound, I realized how close I really was to blowing my load.

"Uh... Sookie..." I said, unsure of how to tell her that she should probably stop touching me.

"No, you can't tie me up, Eric," she smirked, and then we hit a bump and her hand jumped to the exact wrong place.

My body spasmed, and I grunted and swerved the car a little as I came.

"Fuck," I said after a moment, and pulled the car over, then proceeded to bang my head against the steering wheel.

Sookie finally extracted her hand from my crotch and asked, "Are you okay?"

"I'm so sorry," I said, unable to look at her.

"For what?" she asked, completely clueless as to what just happened.

I looked at her, and started rambling, though I should have shut my mouth and let her believe nothing happened. "You had your hand on my thigh, and we were talking about sex, and I haven't had a lot of good sex in the last couple months, and then you started moving your hand, and then you were talking about kinky things, then we hit a bump and you touched it, and I just... blew."

"Shut the fuck up!" she said with amusement on her face.

"It is _not_ funny!" I said, and went back to banging my head on the steering wheel.

"So, like, what would happen if I said you could tie me up?" she asked, and I turned my head to glare at her.

"Sookie!"

She tried not to laugh, but lost the battle. "Oh, come on, Eric! This is funny!"

"You just got me off, on accident, Sook. I feel like a fifteen year old," I sighed. "And it was also the best fucking orgasm I've had in months."

"And I didn't even have to take my tits out," she said, and continued to laugh.

I couldn't even say anything. I even kind of felt like I'd just cheated on Isabel, even though that was ridiculous. And now there was a mess in my boxers. Though, Eric Jr. was more than satisfied.

"Eric," Sookie reached out and put her hand on my shoulder. "It's okay. Shit happens sometimes. This doesn't need to go any further than this car. Although it would make a stellar Facebook status."

"I hope you don't think this means I don't have stamina," I said, finally able to find a little humor in the situation.

"Well maybe this is why Isabel's afraid to turn the lights on. Maybe she's worried it's a waste of time," she said, barely able to contain her smile.

"So fucking funny," I said, and started laughing. "But this does mean you're pretty fucking good at hand jobs."

"How would you know? I didn't even do it on purpose," she said with an evil smirk on her face.

"That's what I mean. You're so good, you don't even have to do a thing."

Sookie's smile faltered, and she took her feet down off the dashboard.

"What?"

"You know, maybe Isabel wasn't wrong to be jealous," she said, but didn't look at me. I could see guilt on her face, though.

"That's ridiculous," I said, and reached for her hand.

"Said the man with the come stain on his jeans," Sookie turned her head toward mine. "Look, we both know that what happened doesn't mean anything, and it doesn't change anything between us, but I don't think Isabel would see it the same way. Maybe I should just go home instead of crashing at your place."

"No, we're getting funnel cake mix, and you're staying with me," I said. "I need to tell you something."

"You didn't do it again, did you?" she looked down at our joined hands.

"Shut it," I smiled. "Earlier, in the parking lot? I broke up with Isabel."

"You did?" she looked shocked. "Wow... what happened?"

"She pissed me off by accusing me of a lot of things, and refusing to get along with you."

"Oh," Sookie said. "I'm sorry, Eric."

"Don't be. I'm not. I told her to call me when she grew the fuck up."

"So you want to work things out with her?"

"I don't know," I said. "I want to not fail at this, but I'm not sure if I want to not fail at this with her."

"That's a big decision to make there, champ," she patted my shoulder.

"I guess we'll see what happens," I said. "But the important thing is that there was no cheating in this situation."

"Absolutely not," she agreed.

"You're still my favorite," I smiled. "Especially now."

"You're still my favorite, too. Now let's go find a grocery store so I can get us the mix and you can clean up the mess you made," she winked at me.

"Yes please," I said, and pulled back onto the road.

"You know, this whole situation could have been more awkward," Sookie said as I drove along.

"How so?"

"Pam could have been a witness," she said, and stuck her tongue out at me.

"Oh Jesus fucking Christ, that would have been awful."

"See? There's a bright side to all of this," she said, and put her feet back up on the dashboard after turning the radio on. "Does Isabel like Journey?"

"No, she likes country."

Sookie didn't say anything, but it was obvious she was thinking about something.

"What's going on in your brain?"

"Nothing really, just thinking," she said with a smile.

"About..."

"Nothing important," she said, which was a clear indication that whatever was on her mind was something she didn't want to talk about.

"Well when you want to talk about it, I'm here," I said as I pulled into the parking lot of the 24-hour grocery store.

"I know," she said, and put on her shoes so we could go into the store.

Before we went in, I stopped her, and turned her towards me. "Be honest. Is it noticeable?"

"Is what noticeable?"

I raised an eyebrow at her and glanced down.

"Oh!" she giggled, and looked down for a second. "No, it's not. But if it makes you feel any better I will totally take responsibility if someone points it out."

"Oh, cause that'll never get back to Isabel."

"I sincerely doubt anyone in this neighborhood knows Isabel," she rolled her eyes, and got out of the car.

"I hope not," I said, and started walking towards the store, then stopped. "You know what? Fuck that." I put my arm around her shoulders. "You're my best friend, and I don't care what she thinks."

"She'll get over it," Sookie patted my chest, and when we got inside she went off to find the funnel cake mix while I went to the bathroom.

"Jesus," I muttered when I lowered my pants. I'd never wished harder that I was a chick who carried wet wipes in her purse. I should have thought to ask Sookie for some before I went to the bathroom. Being a guy was messy in this situation. I did my best to clean myself up with toilet paper, then actually used the bathroom before going out to find Sookie.

She was waiting for me outside of the bathroom with two bags in her hands. "I got the mix, but I got something else I thought maybe tonight called for," she said and handed me one of the bags.

Patron and limes.

"You're possibly the most perfect human being I've ever encountered," I said.

"Why thank you," she curtsied. "Let's get out of here."

"Yes, let's," I said, and offered her my arm.

An hour later I was slicing limes in my kitchen while Sookie was fiddling with my iPod.

"Hey Eric?" she called from the living room.

"Yes?"

"Is there a reason why you have a showtunes playlist on your iPod?" she shouted, and I could hear the smile in her voice.

"A what?" I asked, internally panicking. I didn't need her to know about that little obsession of mine.

"You heard me," she said, her voice getting closer. She appeared in the doorway with my iPod in her hand, dangling it back and forth. "I didn't know you were into showtunes."

"I'm not," I said with a straight face, and held my hand out for the iPod. "Isabel must have put it on here."

"I thought you said she likes country music," she tilted her head to the side, obviously suspicious of something, but then she saw the cut up limes. "That tequila better be a little cold by now," she said, and went to the freezer to check.

"It should be," I said, sighing quietly with relief.

"It's cool, but not cold; it'll do," she shrugged, and pulled the bottle from the fridge while I grabbed the salt shaker.

"You first, lady," I said.

Sookie poured herself a shot, licked her hand, sprinkled salt on it and grabbed a lime wedge. "You're not going to take one too?"

"Yeah yeah," I said, and mimicked her actions. "On three?"

"Yep," she grinned, and on the count of three, both of us licked the salt off our hand, tossed back the shot and sucked on our lime wedges. "Gah!" she shook her head.

"That never gets old," I smiled.

"You just think I make too many funny faces," she said, and poured another round of shots.

"It's always so entertaining."

"I aim to please," she said, and licked her hand again. "Come on, you too," she insisted.

I got myself ready and waited for her to count to three again before taking the shot. Just like last time she made the same funny faces and weird noises before slamming her shot glass down on the kitchen counter.

"You know, I really do love this stuff," she said, and petted the bottle.

"If you're petting the bottle, you've maybe had too much."

"You hush," she said, and then jumped like someone threw a lit firecracker at her. "I just thought of something! Wait right here!"

Sookie took off running and I had no idea where the hell she was going, or what she was up to.

"Where'd you go?" I hollered after a minute.

"I thought of a song that is perfect for Isabel!" she shouted, and then it sounded like a herd of elephants was running through the house.

"Huh?"

"Just listen to the lyrics!" Sookie shouted, and I groaned when country music started playing in my house.

"Jesus Christ," I said. It really was like the song was written about her.

"See? Not all country music is evil," Sookie smirked, and skipped past me and grabbed up the tequila bottle.

"This is true."

"So what are the chances I can get you to do the Electric Slide to 'Achy, Breaky, Heart'?" she asked, and poured a third round of shots. She needed to slow her ass down before she threw up.

"First I think we should not have another shot for a hot second," I said.

"Why not?" she pouted when I took the tequila away from her. "This is what you're supposed to do after a breakup, Eric. Do you not remember after I broke up with Alcide?"

"I don't know if it was a breakup yet," I said.

She snorted and asked, "Are you on a break, Ross?"

"Maybe," I shrugged.

"Okay, come here," she said, and grabbed my hand to pull me into the living room.

She sat down on the couch, pulling me down beside her, and then moving me so my head was resting in her lap.

"Do you want to work things out with her, Eric?" she asked while she ran her fingers through my hair.

"If she can be more mature about things, I don't see why not."

"Maybe you should call her," she suggested. That had to be the tequila talking.

"Or maybe I should not look like a desperate pussy and not call her."

"Or that," she smiled. "I think I should call Quinn, though."

"Is that Mr. Clean's name?"

Sookie rolled her eyes and said, "Yes, that's his name. He's a nice guy, and a decent dancer."

"Nice guy? He was looking at you like he wanted to take you home and attempt to fuck you stupid."

"So?"

"Nice guys wait until the third date."

"And you would know this how?" she retorted.

"Because I've never done it, and I know I'm not a nice guy."

"Shut up," she pushed me off her lap, and I ended up falling halfway onto the floor. "You are too a nice guy... you're just not so good with the commitment part."

"Thanks for the compliment, and the bruise," I said, rubbing the elbow I used to brace my fall.

"I think I already did my good deed for the night," she wiggled her eyebrows at me. "And you're welcome."

"You more than did your good deed for the night. You have no idea how much that took the edge off."

"I can just about guess," she giggled, and shifted on the couch.

"Does this mean I can come to you when I need the edge taken off?"

"Careful there, Mr. I'm On A Break..." she stretched out on the couch, and crossed her legs at her ankles.

"I was only kidding."

"Uh huh," she smirked, and closed her eyes. "I always forget how comfortable your couch is. Was this thing constructed by bunnies and angels, or something?"

"Maybe fairies."

"Ah, that explains it," she yawned.

"You ready for bed already?" I asked.

"Just making myself comfortable," she said, and turned on her side, making her cleavage impossible to ignore.

"Would you rather be in bed with Mr. Clean than here with me?" I asked.

"Mmmm... with Mr. Clean I'm guessing both of us would have gotten off tonight, so..." she trailed off.

"You don't know that. Maybe he's awful in bed."

"Maybe," she yawned again. "I had too many drinks tonight."

"Let's just go to bed then," I said. "Come on, I'll carry you up and let you sleep in my clothes."

"You don't have to carry me," she said, and pushed herself up off the couch.

"Try to stand up," I said as I did so myself.

"I got this," she said, managing to get to her feet, but not without losing her balance a little.

"Yup, I'm carrying you," I said, and swept her off her feet before she could object.

"You're a good friend," she rested her head on my shoulder.

"Yeah, yeah, and so are you," I said. "And not just for the impromptu handjob."

"I didn't give you a handjob!" she argued. "You're just horny."

"You used your hand..."

"My hand was on your leg except for that last millisecond. It isn't my fault you couldn't control yourself," she pinched my cheek.

"It was more than a millisecond," I protested. "And you touched the tip."

"Oooooh... and you have jeans on! Trust me when I tell you, you can't jerk dick in jeans," she said with a completely straight face.

"Yes you can," I said.

"Not what you're packing," she said.

"What I'm packing?"

"Yeah, you know what I mean, and I'm not going to put my hands down your pants to show you either, so don't even try," she said, and shifted around when I set her down on my bed. "Why did you bring me in here? I can sleep in the guest room."

"Because I need a snuggle buddy," I said. "Plus my clothes are in here. Also, I'm glad you've finally accepted that I have a very large penis."

"Well you remind me of it every chance you get," she snickered. "But seriously... I don't know if sleeping in the same bed is a good idea. You have a... well shit, I don't know what Isabel is at this point, but if you're hoping to work things out with her then sleeping with me is a bad idea."

"I'm not going to be 'sleeping' with you," I said, using air quotes. "I just need you in here with me tonight."

She thought it over for a second before conceding.

"Thank you," I said. "I'm going to change in the bathroom. You changing in here, or would you like to use the bathroom after me?"

"I'll use the bathroom when you're done. I need to wash my face and get all this makeup off," she said, and reached behind herself to unzip her dress.

"Whoa whoa, wait until I'm in there before you whip the girls out. We don't need another situation."

"Oh cool your balls, I have a bra on," she rolled her eyes, but held up the top of her dress. "Besides, you've seen me in a bikini before. This isn't really any different."

"I thought you were braless."

"Nope. The girls are too big not to be restrained when I'm in public," she sighed, and flopped back against the pillows.

"Oh, good to know," I said, and grabbed a pair of flannel pajama pants before heading into the bathroom.

I cleaned myself up a little more thoroughly than I was able to in the bathroom earlier, and got ready for bed. By the time I got back into my bedroom, Sookie was already nodding off on my bed. I had to nudge her awake so she could go change.

"Geez, Northman, did you make another withdrawal from the spank bank?" she rubbed her eyes, but forgot she'd unzipped her dress since it fell around her ankles when she stood up.

"Damn, Stackhouse," I grinned. "You didn't tell me that you wear thongs occasionally. It looks like you're flossing your ass."

"Fuck off!" she shouted, but was laughing as she slammed the bathroom door.

I chuckled, and climbed up on my bed to wait for her to come back out. I was glad she was staying with me, despite what had happened in my car earlier. Thinking about that just made me laugh, which was good, I guess, but I was still laughing when she came out of the bathroom looking like sex in my clothes.

"Why do you look like you just had a stroke?" she asked as she walked toward the bed, and then bent over to pick up her dress.

"Because you look fucking hot in my clothes."

"You're such a dork," she shook her head, and climbed up onto the bed, keeping as close to the edge of the mattress as possible.

"Oh god, I'm not going to molest you, get over here," I said, and patted the bit of mattress next to me.

"I don't know... I gave you a hands-free handjob already tonight..."

"Then I'm good," I said. "Now get over here and snuggle with me."

She had another moment where she looked like she was debating, but ultimately scooted over, and stayed flat on her back.

"Do you really distrust me that much?" I asked.

"It's not that," she turned her head. "It just feels awkward for some reason, that's all."

"It's only awkward if you make it awkward."

"Yeah, you say that a lot; I don't even know what that means."

"Look, if you don't trust me, which is clearly the case, then go sleep in the guest room," I huffed in anger, and slid under the covers and rolled on my side to face away from her.

She was quiet for a minute, but then got out of bed and left the room, making sure to close the door behind her. She didn't say a word. I wanted to go after her, but thought better of it. Dealing with a sober pissed off Sookie was bad enough. Instead, I laid there and tried to go to sleep, but it refused to come.

About fifteen minutes passed, and then the bedroom door creaked open slowly. Quiet footsteps made their way closer to my bed, and then I felt Sookie climb up behind me. She got closer than before and I could feel her breath on my back.

"I'm sorry," I whispered and reached for her hand.

"Don't worry about it," she whispered back, and let me pull her arm around me.

"Well I'm going to," I said, and turned over so I was facing her.

"Eric, it's fine," she sighed. Her eyes were closed.

"I can't sleep until we fix this," I said.

"There's nothing to fix. We're fine. Go to sleep," she said quietly, and patted my side.

"Sook," I sighed.

"If there's something you want to say, then say it."

"I'm sorry for getting angry with you, and for making you feel awkward."

"It's okay, Eric," she said, and finally opened her eyes. "Really, we're fine. Now go to sleep."

"I feel like you're placating me."

"And I feel like you're trying to pick a fight, so can we please just go to sleep now?"

"I'm not trying to pick a fight, I'm trying to resolve one," I said.

"We weren't fighting," she sighed. "I just had an attack of conscience, that's all. It's fine now."

"I'm sorry for putting you in that situation," I said. "You mean more to me than almost anyone."

"I know," she said, and shifted closer to me. "Really, Eric, it's okay. Wanna sleep on my boobs?"

"I thought you'd never ask," I smiled, and laughed.

She rolled onto her back and said, "Don't get used to this, and so help me God if your hands or lips start trying to get friendly..."

"They won't," I grinned, and settled myself down on her chest. Her boobs were so glorious.

Her fingers started to comb through my hair and she whispered, "Good, now go to sleep."

"Goodnight," I said, and closed my eyes.

"Goodnight. You're still my favorite," she whispered.

"Ditto," I said.

* * *

**Seriously, WHY AREN'T THEY BANGING ALREADY? And that hands-free handjob? BEST. THING. EVER. I was laughing my ass off when Scribe wrote that and she was sooooooo pissed off at me for it, but come on! Poor dude. Thanks for reading!**


	9. Next Girl

**Can I just say that the last outtake is one of my favorite things that Scribe and I have written together? I forgot to mention that in the last A/N, but it's true. We were laughing about it over the phone last night when she called me to discuss her upcoming visit to my fair city. She'll be here in a couple of weeks, and I am excite... assuming she doesn't kill me. You won't do that, will you, dear Scribe? *bats my eyelashes at you* Okay, enough out of me...  
**

* * *

Outtake: Next Girl

"Eric … sweetie pie," Isabel said, running her finger over the side of my face. "Wake up, we need to talk."

"Sleep now," I grumbled, and rolled away from her.

I hated the nights she stayed over. She usually wanted to talk the next morning about our relationship. But I had been horny the night before, and Isabel was my girlfriend. That happened to be a status I was rethinking. I wasn't happy when I was with her, and I doubted she was all that happy with me.

Plus there was the not-so-small matter of our sex life, which wasn't great, to say the least. She still hadn't gained any self-confidence in the six months we'd been together. Confidence was such a turn on for me, and Isabel had none. She was so worried about how she looked during sex that she couldn't just relax and let herself go. I was pretty damn sure that she had faked every orgasm she'd had with me. I did my best to get her off, but she wouldn't let me do most of the things I could do to help her along.

Honestly, that shit fucked with my confidence too. I knew I was good at sex, and good at satisfying a woman, but when you go six months unsure of whether or not you're really getting your woman off, it messes with you. I took too much pride in my ability to make sure the woman I was with enjoyed sex just as much as me.

"But this is serious," she said.

She would bug me until I got up, so I gave in and sat up.

"What's so serious that I'm losing sleep over it?"

"I think we need to talk about taking the next step in our relationship," she said.

_You mean fucking with the lights on? Or at least during the day?_

"What step would that be?"

"I think it's time that I move in with you," she said, and my jaw dropped.

"What?"

"I love you, Eric. And you love me. We have a great sex life! I'm here a lot. Why not?" she said, a big smile on her face.

_Was she **INSANE**?_

I jumped out of the bed, and quickly put my boxers on, then started pacing.

"Are you crazy?" I finally asked her.

"What are you talking about? This is logical for us."

"Okay, let's count all the ways you're wrong," I said, and started counting on my fingers. "One, I don't love you. Two, our sex life is shit. Three, you're hardly ever here since I can't stand when you spend the night. Four, I'm not happy with you-"

"Why are you lying?" she asked. "Why are you being like this?"

"We have been together for six months, Isabel. That's it. And mostly only because I wanted to prove to myself that I could be with a woman for that long. You knew how commitment phobic I was from the beginning! Did you think six months was just the point at which that ended? I've never once told you I love you."

"But what about our sex life? That's good, isn't it?"

"Are you trying to get me to be mean to you or something? It's awful! You have absolutely no self-confidence, and you fake it, all the time. Do you have any idea how much of a turn off that is?"

"Well maybe you're just not that good in bed!" she yelled at me, and rolled out of bed with the sheet around her. "Please leave so I can get dressed."

"Do you see what I mean? You'll let me put my dick inside you, but you won't let me see where it's going."

"Fuck you, Eric!" she screamed, and went into the bathroom. I felt like I'd finally got to see a little bit of the real Isabel.

I went downstairs and found a box, then proceeded to start throwing Isabel's shit into it. Stupid stuffed animals she'd brought over and liked to pretend they were gifts from me, photos of herself, and some of her and me, she had framed and left around the house, her purse, which I probably shouldn't have thrown into the box, but I was pissed off. Then I went upstairs and into my bedroom to wait for her to come out of the bathroom, which she did a couple of minutes later. She started to say something to me, but I brushed past her and started throwing the crap she'd left in my bathroom in the box. Perfume, hairbrush, toothbrush, toothpaste, tampons...

"Here," I said, and thrust the box at her. "Now get out of my house please."

"Are you breaking up with me?" she asked, starting up with the tears.

"Don't start that shit, Iz. You're not happy with me, and I'm not happy with you. You're pushing this shit too fast, and it's never going to work. We're done. Goodbye."

Harsh? Maybe, but she didn't really grasp subtlety.

"You're an asshole, you know that? You're going to end up alone and miserable!"

"I'd rather be alone and miserable than with you!"

Ever the dramatic one, she dropped the box and slapped me across the face before she left. I collapsed on the bed and thanked whatever deity was up there that I'd always used condoms and never come inside that crazy bitch. Then I realized she'd sprayed her perfume on my fucking sheets again, and got up so I could rip them off my bed and throw them away. I'd buy new ones.

After a shower, I decided that the only thing to do was to call Sookie and demand she come over. She hated Isabel, so she'd definitely be down with bashing her all night.

I picked up my phone and sat on my bare mattress as I dialed her number. She picked up on the second ring.

"Oh my God, who died?" she asked, without bothering to say hello.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because it's only eleven in the morning," she said as if I should know better. "You're never up this early on a Saturday morning."

"Isabel woke me up," I said. "Then she pissed me off and I broke up with her."

"Get the fuck out," she said, obviously surprised, but then started laughing. "Did you have to call the cops to get her off your property?"

"No, thankfully, but I should probably up my security and change my locks," I said. "She wanted to move in, Sook."

"Oooh that's a no-no," she winced.

"She also told me she loved me, and informed me that I loved her back."

"Was she high?"

"No. She also said our sex life was great, and when I called her ass on that, she tried to say that maybe I was bad in bed."

"Ha! You should have told her about the handless handjob you got... but without using my name," Sookie snickered.

"Why the fuck didn't I think of that?" I sighed. "Can you please come over here? Or I can come to you? I don't care, I just need to be with someone sane who will bash Isabel with me."

"I will come to you, and I will bring pie," she said happily. "And then we can go mattress shopping if you want."

"I need to replace that too? I just threw away my sheets."

She giggled and said, "I was just kidding. About the mattress, I mean, not the pie. Pie is no laughing matter. Especially when it's the of the French Silk variety."

"Yes, bring it. And then we'll go shopping for sheets."

"Deal. I will get dressed, since you caught me just out of the shower, and I should be there within the hour," she promised.

"Awesome. Just in time to stop me from killing myself for staying with her so long."

"Don't get all drama queen on me. It's going to be fine. Go take a shower, and I'll be there before you know it," she said reassuringly.

"I already took a shower. We fucked last night. I feel disgusting."

"Well, then go take a bath in bleach?" she suggested, and when I remained silent she said, "That was a joke, Eric."

"I know," I sighed. "I'll be here, waiting, probably banging my head against the table."

"Don't do that. Fire up the treadmill and go for a run. Maybe that'll help," she suggested, and I could hear dresser drawers opening and closing while she picked out clothes.

"That's a good idea. Come on in when you get here, I'll probably have music on loudly."

"You got it. See you soon!" she said, and then hung up before I could continue complaining.

I tossed my phone on the bed, and headed to my closet to get my running shoes before going down to my little workout room and jumping on the treadmill. I turned on some loud rock music and started running. I ran, and ran, and let my mind wander as best I could, but I always ended up back at kicking myself for choosing Isabel, of all people, to practice having a relationship with. Maybe I really was an asshole.

I'm not sure how long I was running before the music suddenly cut off, and I opened my eyes to see Sookie standing there.

"Hey," I panted, and slowed down the machine until I was just walking on it.

"How far did you run?" she asked, and rubbed her cheek.

I looked down at the machine and my eyes went wide. "Holy shit, seven miles."

"Whoa," she said.

"And now I need another shower," I said, and opened my arms to hug her, but she made a face. "Oh come on, a sweaty hug is a good hug."

"You can have all the hugs you want when you're not stinky anymore," she promised, and finally moved her hand away from her face to reveal an angry red splotch on her cheek.

"What happened to your face?" I asked, moving closer to inspect it.

"I ran into your ex-girlfriend at the gas station," she said. "She's a lot feistier than I ever would have given her credit for."

"She slapped you?" I asked, and gently touched the red spot on her cheek. "That fucking bitch."

"You should see _her_ face," Sookie shrugged, and held up what appeared to be her punching hand.

"What happened?" I asked, unable to resist smiling at the idea of Sookie punching Isabel.

"I was pumping gas so I didn't see her coming. She grabbed me by my hair, turned me around and started screaming in my face about how if I would have just stayed away from you the two of you would still be together. I didn't even know what the fuck was going on and the next thing I know she backhands me. So I stomped on her toes to distract her. She let go of my hair and I popped her one right in the nose," Sookie shrugged.

I snorted. "Did you break it?"

"I don't know. She was bleeding, so maybe. Stupid twat," she muttered angrily. "I should have punched her in the uterus. She does not need to breed."

"No shit," I said, then sighed. "Why does it always come down to them being jealous of you and me? Sometimes I think we should just fuck to stick it to them."

"Yeah, that's a good reason to throw away a friendship of almost ten years," Sookie smirked, but then gave me a hug, sweat and all.

"Which is why we won't," I said, and gave her a squeeze. "Now come on. Let's get your hand and face on ice while I take a shower."

"I don't need any ice," she insisted. "This is nothing that a little pie can't cure, and I have an iced coffee downstairs waiting for me."

"It'll make me feel better if you put ice on it," I said.

"Fine, then go shower and I'll put the ice on it," she said, but I was pretty sure she was going to skip it.

"I'll help you get the ice," I said and headed for the kitchen.

"I can get it!" she said from behind me, following me toward the kitchen.

"No you won't," I laughed.

"It's my face," she grumbled.

"Quit being stubborn," I said, and pulled out a plastic baggie to start putting ice in.

"Quit trying to be in charge of my face," she retorted, but hopped up on the counter anyway. "I brought you two kinds of pie and everything."

"And you're awesome for it," I smiled as I wrapped the bag of ice in a towel. I went up to her and put on hand on the back of her neck and gently pressed the ice to her cheek. "Better?"

She nodded and said, "It doesn't really hurt that much. It just mostly feels hot. Oh, and her shirt was on inside out. Just how fast did you throw her bony ass outta here anyway?"

"Pretty fast," I said. "Now hold this to your face at least until I'm out of the room, okay?"

She snickered and said, "Yes sir."

I gave her a quick kiss on the forehead, and said, "Thank you for being awesome."

"It's what you pay me for," she smiled back.

"Uh huh," I said. "Will you have my pie options on plates when I get back down here?"

"You got it, boss," she slid down off the counter and went to the fridge to get the pie boxes out.

"Keep that ice on your face," I said as I walked out of the room.

"Yeah, yeah!" she shouted back.

I went upstairs and took another quick shower, then got dressed. Having Sookie at my place made me feel a lot better about myself. I was pissed that Isabel attacked her like that though. I really did think sometimes that Sookie and I should just sleep together, but I valued our friendship, and her, more than that. I knew once wouldn't be enough, which meant it would end up being a fuck buddies situation, and we couldn't do that. Sookie wanted things I knew I couldn't give her. But admittedly, it was getting harder to resist the idea of being with her, even in a relationship situation. For the last few weeks, I'd been thinking more and more about it. Just seeing Sookie walk into a room sometimes made me feel a little strange. Like I was … smitten. It was strange, for me.

When I got back down to the kitchen, Sookie made a show of rushing to put the ice back on her face like she'd had it there the whole time. It was cute.

"Funny," I said. "It's not red anymore though."

"You like red. I'm surprised you want to get rid of it," she tossed the ice to the side. "So, I've got this peanut butter cup silk supreme deal, but there's a layer of pecan in it that you might not be so crazy about. The other one is the classic French Silk. I thought about getting an Oreo too, but that might have been a bit much."

"I'll take the French Silk," I said, and sat down at the table.

A moment later Sookie handed me a plate that had about a third of the pie on it, and she quickly followed that up with a big glass of milk.

"Shit, this is the best breakfast ever."

"I concur," she said as she took a seat with a similar plate sitting in front of her, only she had the other kind of pie, and a bucket of iced coffee in her hand.

"I don't know how you drink that crap," I said.

"Because it makes me a tolerable person to be around," she said honestly, and dug into her pie.

"This is true," I smiled, and took a bite of my own pie.

As I watched her eat, I kept thinking about the way I'd been feeling about her lately. I wondered what she'd think about us honestly making a go at things. Then it would pop into my head that she wanted things I wasn't sure about, and I couldn't disappoint her like that. She deserved everything.

"Do you ever wonder..." I began, then stopped myself. "Never mind."

"Wonder what?" she asked with a mouthful of pie.

"Just … Do you ever think that maybe you and I would work? Hypothetically."

"You mean like as a couple?" she asked, and shifted in her chair just a little.

"Yeah, in an honest relationship."

"Well, we've been friends for a really long time, so the biggest hurdle would probably be not getting weirded out by all the naked time," she said casually.

"You would be weirded out by that?" I asked.

"By the naked time?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know," she shrugged, but a blush started to creep up her neck.

"You just said you would though," I pointed out. "I don't think it would be weird."

"I didn't say I would!" she argued quickly, and that blush got a little deeper. "I'm just saying that... you know... we aren't the kind of friends that change clothes in front of each other, or walk into the bathroom while the other is showering the way some friends do. It would just take some getting used to, I guess, like with any other new relationship."

"I don't know. I think it wouldn't take long. I mean, it's no secret I'd love to see you naked."

"Yeah, you've made that clear to me a time or two," she smiled down at her pie.

"So do you think we would work?" I asked. "Everyone else seems to think so."

She looked troubled, and kept her eyes on her plate. "Honestly... I don't think we would in the long run."

I'm not going to lie, my heart sunk hearing her say that. I took another bite and swallowed before asking, "Why's that?"

Sookie looked away from her plate and said, "Because as much as I love you as a friend, and I know you love me back, relationships are more complicated than that, and we just don't want the same things in life. I left Alcide because he didn't see the same future as me, and you don't see that either. You should be with someone who wants the things you want, and I'm not that girl. Not even hypothetically."

She had no faith in me at all. And the only person I could blame for that was me. But apparently I was a glutton for punishment.

"And what if hypothetical me wanted the same things as you?"

"If hypothetical you wanted the same things I did, then yeah, I think things could work," she said, and took another bite of her pie.

"So it would all come down to me," I said absently.

"Eric, you shouldn't have to change who you are to be with someone. They should love you exactly the way you are, no strings attached," she said sincerely, and took a drink of her coffee.

"But you couldn't do that," I said, then shook my head. "Hypotheticals suck."

"You're losing me here, friend," she reached over and grabbed my hand. "What are you trying to ask me?"

"Just thinking out loud," I said, and turned my hand over to give hers a squeeze. "I'm my own worst enemy."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I am," I said with a shrug. "Sometimes I just think I'll never be really, really happy because of the way I am."

"So do something to change it," she said like it was no big deal. "If you're unhappy you're the only one who can fix that, Eric."

"Sook," I scoffed. "Could you just easily decide that you didn't want marriage or kids someday?"

"No, I couldn't, but is that really what's making you unhappy?"

"It's what's going to keep me from being happy," I said. "And I wouldn't even know where to begin to start to change it."

She sighed heavily and said, "Well, maybe someday someone will come along that will make you want those things. You never know. We grow and change all the time."

"You keep saying that," I said, and gently pulled my hand back. "You say all the time that one day, someone will come along and knock me off my feet and make me happy, but what if that doesn't happen? What if she's already come along?"

"Well, then I guess it's a good thing you've got me," she smiled. "You told me once that I was probably the closest you'd ever have to a wife anyway. I'm not going anywhere."

"Yeah, because that'll make me so happy later when you find the right guy and get married and have kids, and what'll I be? Uncle Eric? That's all I get out of life? My best friend has her dreams come true, and I get to be fun Uncle Eric. And given our past relationships, whoever you marry will probably be jealous of me, so I doubt I'll be allowed around much anyway."

Sookie just kept quiet while she sat there stirring her coffee with her straw.

"I'm sorry," I said. "Forget I ever brought it up."

"It's fine," she said, and then got up.

"What are you doing?"

"Gotta pee," she said, and left the room.

I slid my plate of pie over, and banged my head on the table. I was an idiot. A big, stupid, idiot. I hated when she got that look on her face. Like she felt guilty for having dreams that were different than mine.

When I heard her come back into the room, I lifted my head to apologize, but she started talking before I could.

"So what kind of sheets are we shopping for? Jersey sheets are nice. I'm in love with mine. It's like sleeping in a big, comfy t-shirt," she said, and took her plate over to the sink.

"Sookie..."

"I know they're not the fancy 900 count cotton you're probably used to-"

"Sookie, stop," I said, and got up.

"What's with you today? You know, if you're upset about what happened with Isabel at the gas station-"

"I'm not, and you know that," I said. "You're avoiding what just happened, and I just don't get it."

"What do you want me to say, Eric? I thought we were dealing in hypotheticals, and then you started getting all serious on me, like there's something you're not telling me. I feel like I'm missing something here, and you're mad at me for... I don't even know what I did."

"I'm not mad at you," I sighed. "I swear though, sometimes you act like you don't have a female emotion in your body."

"Are you serious? I cry all the fucking time!" she said, and punched my arm in a decidedly unfeminine gesture.

"Yeah, but when it comes to my emotions, you just ... I don't know, you clam up right when I need you to just tell me what to do."

"But you didn't ask me what to do! You asked me if I thought, hypothetically, if we'd make a good couple. Then when I told you the reason why I didn't you got mad at me," she argued, her eyes getting all squinty the way they did when she was pissed off.

"I didn't get mad at you for that, I got mad at myself," I argued right back.

"Then why are you taking it out on me?" she glared, staring right into my eyes.

"I don't know!"

"That's great, Eric," she sighed, and stepped around me to make herself busy putting the pie away.

"I just want to have a little bit of hope that maybe one day I'll be happy too."

She stopped moving and said, "That has to come from you, Eric. I can't give that to you. You have to decide what you want and find a way to make it happen, the same as you did with your bar, this house... everything else in your life. You didn't need me to accomplish any of those things. You did it all by yourself. You can do this, too."

I resisted the urge to tell her that I did need her for this, more than she knew. Instead, I opened my arms and asked for a hug.

"Are you done being a jackass?" she asked, standing her ground at the counter on the other side of the room.

"Be nice to me, I'm going through a breakup," I said, and cracked a smile.

"Well fuck me running if this is what you're life after a breakup," she smirked, and then crossed the room to give me a hug. "You're going to be okay, Eric. I believe that."

That was it. It was what I needed to hear, from her.

"Thank you," I said. "Now let's go get me some new Egyptian cotton sheets."

"You got it," she said, and patted my back before letting me go.

"I'm sorry for being a jackass."

"I'm used to it," she smiled at me.

"Yeah yeah," I grumbled.

* * *

**SPOV**

So far I was having quite the day. I'd woken up early to clean my apartment to get any reminders of Quinn out of there since I never wanted to see his stupid, bald head ever again for as long as I lived. He turned out to be such a pig, and it was lucky for him that I didn't tell Eric about the sex tape proposal, or any of the 'cute' little nicknames he had come up with for me, because I had no doubt that Eric would currently be facing murder charges because of it.

I can't say I was too surprised that Eric broke up with Isabel, and I was relieved he'd finally done it. She was all wrong for him. He never seemed to be genuinely happy when he was with her, but he was doing his best to force himself, or maybe convince himself, that he felt that way when she was around. I knew him better than that, though, and he wasn't fooling me. Isabel, however, was too self-absorbed to know he was faking it. That bitch.

Punching her shouldn't have felt as good as it did, but she had it coming for so many reasons. Forget, for a second, that she started it, but it was more about the backhanded compliments she was always lobbing at me, the little insults under her breath that she didn't have the balls to say in front of Eric, and then, of course, there was her desire to get her hands on his bank account. I knew he had money, but I never asked about it since it wasn't any of my business. Eric didn't talk about it, so I just left it alone. Our friendship didn't revolve around his monthly bank statements, and it never occurred to me to ask how much money he had.

That was just rude.

The fight in his kitchen... fuck, I didn't even know what to think about that. When I called him on it I noticed that he dodged my accusation that he was keeping something from me, but rather than making things worse I just let it go. When he accused me of not being emotional enough, I wanted to punch him in the balls. I mean, seriously, with all my ups and downs? I could only imagine if I spent as much time crying around him as I wanted to sometimes.

That was why I went to the bathroom. I needed a minute to collect myself before I got all upset over something that probably didn't even matter. I didn't know what his problem was, or why he was suddenly so pissed off, but I didn't like feeling like I was his punching bag. I was trying to help him, and it wasn't working. I hated when he got in those moods where he was all defeatist, and unwilling to see any light at the end of the tunnel.

I'd been through enough bad stuff in my life to know that tomorrow was always a new day, and a chance to change everything. Eric didn't seem to see things the same way, and in that regard we were completely different people. I could be bitchy sometimes, but at least I knew where I wanted to go in life. Eric seemed to be at a crossroads, but it was up to him to decide which path he wanted to follow. I couldn't make that choice for him, and I wouldn't.

Whatever was going on with him, I hoped he figured it out. I also hoped he'd give himself a break. Mostly, I wanted to know where all that hypothetical stuff had come from, because it really did feel like maybe there was something there he was trying to tell me, but I just wasn't getting it. But I decided it was better to think about that when I was alone before we ended up going at each other in round two. I didn't feel like fighting with him anymore.

"Here, how about navy blue?" I asked, and grabbed a package of sheets off the shelf we were standing in front of.

"I was thinking more of a bachelor black," he said.

"Sounds more like emo teenager, but whatever floats your boat," I said, and put the blue sheets back.

"You don't like the black sheets?" he asked. "You've never wanted to fuck on black, Egyptian cotton sheets?"

"Is there something magical about them that I should be aware of?" I asked, since I wasn't aware they were special.

"You've slept on my sheets before," he said.

"And?"

"And they're amazingly soft and feel fucking awesome against your skin..."

"Uh huh, but what does that have to do with fucking?" I was still lost.

"Who doesn't want to fuck on soft sheets?"

"True," I shrugged, and then added, "My jersey sheets do just fine, and they're about a hundred dollars cheaper."

"Yeah, well, I'm not cheap about some things."

"Okay," I shrugged, and backed away. "I wasn't saying not to get them. It's your bed, you gotta sleep in it."

"I'll get the navy blue ones," he said, and pulled them from the shelf.

"Eric, if you want the black ones, get the black ones," I rolled my eyes.

"No, you're right. Way too emo. Navy blue matches my room better anyway."

"You're sure?" I asked, and he nodded. "Okay, then let's go find the mattress department and go jump on the beds."

"Seriously?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" I grabbed his hand, and pulled him along behind me.

"You're such a kid," he laughed.

"Deal with it," I said over my shoulder, and then took a quick look around to make sure there were no store employees nearby to stop me from climbing up on one of the California king sized mattresses. "Come on," I waved him up once I was standing at the center of the bed.

"If you get me in trouble..." he said as he stepped up onto the bed.

"The worst they can do is throw us out," I said, and started bouncing.

"Um, Sook..." he said as he started bouncing with me, and I realized what his eyes were trained on.

"Get over it," I said, and kept bouncing.

"You know very well just how bad my sex life has been. Do you really want me to buy these sheets with a boner?"

I literally fell over laughing.

"That could actually be kind of funny. Let's try it and see what happens," I suggested.

He flopped down on the bed beside me, and reached for my chest, but I slapped his hand. "You said you wanted to try it!"

"Why don't I just put my hand on your leg? That worked before," I said, and fought the battle against the giggles.

"Hey! Not cool."

I kept giggling, and then climbed over him to get off the bed.

"Oh I see, you like to ride cowgirl," he said, and grabbed my hips when I was in the position to straddle him.

"Careful, Northman, you're playing with fire," I smiled at him.

"I like to play with fire," he grinned.

I lifted an eyebrow, and in a probably not so smart move, I rocked my hips against him.

"Oh, fuck," he groaned, and rolled me underneath him. "Are you trying to get us arrested for public indecency?"

"I was just trying to climb off the bed. Now I'm trapped under a horny giant," I said, but didn't move out from under him like I should have.

"Don't even act like you're not turned on," he smirked, then ground his hips against mine.

My breath caught, and it was a good thing that a store employee cleared his throat to break things up before we went any further than that. No doubt Eric was absolutely turned on, and I... I didn't know what to think.

"Sorry, we're leaving," I peeked around Eric's shoulder, and then pushed him off of me.

"Good idea," the uptight middle-aged man said with a sour expression on his face, until he caught sight of my boobs when I stood up.

"Oy," Eric said. "Nobody looks at those but me. C'mon sweet cheeks." He picked up his sheets, and slapped my ass before wrapping his arm around me as we walked away.

"I think you enjoyed that a little too much," I said as we walked toward one of the customer service counters to pay for his sheets.

"I did," he grinned. "I could definitely get used to being your boyfriend."

I stopped walking, which was awkward, because Eric still had his arm around me. I didn't even know what to say, but it felt like I should say something. Words just weren't coming to me.

I had a moment of panic, wondering if I should just ignore it and pretend like I had a sudden cramp in my leg, or if I should ask him what the fuck he meant by that boyfriend thing. I didn't know what to do, and based on the way the day had been going so far, it seemed like anything was possible.

"I'm sorry, my hearing must be on the fritz today," I shook my head. "I swear I heard the word boyfriend come out of your mouth."

"That's probably because it did," he said with an amused look on his face.

"Okay, what am I missing? That's twice today that you've referenced us as a couple," I folded my arms over my chest.

"You're not missing anything," he said. "It just came out of my mouth."

"Uh huh," I looked him up and down, forcing my eyes not to focus on the situation he had going on in his pants.

"It did, now will you come on? People are starting to stare at my tent."

"Uh huh," I said again, but I wasn't buying the crap he was trying to sell me. I knew him too well. Something was definitely up, no pun intended.

"Alright fine, stay right there while I go pay for these," he said, and headed for the counter.

When he came back a few minutes later I didn't say anything, and simply followed him out of the store and into the parking lot. I got behind the wheel of my car, and Eric got in the other side after setting his sheets in the back seat. I waited until we were pulling out of the parking lot to ask, "Do you have feelings for me that aren't just friendly ones?"

"Sure I do," he said. "Lusty ones."

"So you just want to fuck me, that's it?" I asked, and got on the ramp for the highway.

"I wouldn't say that," he said.

"Then what would you say, because you've been acting weird around me all day."

He sighed, and said, "Just fucking you would never be enough for me. I would want to call you my girlfriend and scare the shit out of guys that think it's okay to look at your boobs. But at the same time, I can't say for sure that I would ever be able to give you the things you want, so it'll never happen."

Well then. Okay.

"Are you going to say something?" he asked a few minutes later.

"I don't really know what to say," I said, and was glad I had to keep my eyes on the road because looking at him probably would have killed me.

"Oh."

There are awkward moments, and then there was being trapped in a car with your best friend when he sort of confessed to having feelings for you that went beyond friendship when you didn't feel the same way. Anything I could have said would have just come out wrong, and attempts to lighten the situation with humor would have made him feel like I wasn't taking him seriously. I didn't know what to do. I had never been in that situation before. Placating him wasn't going to help either.

"What do you want, Eric?" I asked him as kindly as I could, and even chanced a glance at him to see a sad puppy look on his face. Fuck my life.

He turned to look out the window and said, "I just want to be a better person."

"Eric, you're a great person," I reached over and grabbed his hand. "You're one of the best people I know."

"I'm not good enough for you."

"Wha... why would you think that? We've been friends for..." I trailed off.

He had fallen down the rabbit hole, and I had no idea how to help him out of it.

"You know what I meant."

"Eric, us being... more than friends... it isn't about you not being good enough for me. I don't think that at all. It's just... you're my friend. I don't see you in any other light besides that. That isn't your fault. Besides, you just broke up with someone. Even though it was that stick figure with a pulse," I said, and that got a small smile out of him. "Maybe all of this is just because you were trying so hard with her. You were trying to prove to yourself that you could do the relationship thing, and you did, but it didn't work out. So maybe you're just trying to make something work with me because we've been friends for so long and it would be easier, or feel safer or something."

"Maybe you're right," he said. "I think I just need to sleep on it."

"At least you have comfy, fresh sheets to do that on now," I smiled hopefully in his direction.

"Yeah, and thanks to you they're not emo black."

"Next time you should get pink," I suggested with as straight a face as I could muster.

"Ha!"

"Oh come on! How adorable would you look rolling around in pink sheets? We could get you some faux fur pillows or something," I suggested, only because it was completely ridiculous and I wanted to get that sad panda look off his face.

He snorted. "When I decide I like cock, effeminately, I'll give you a call."

I burst out laughing, my mind going back to that time he got wasted and tried on my prom dress. God, what a nightmare in pink he was.

"You better," I said between laughs.

"And you can bring the prom dress."

"Ha! I really should bring pictures of that to the bar. I think the staff would love to see them," I teased.

"I think you think you're funny," he said.

"And I think that picture should be on the bar's website," I grinned.

"Ugh, why am I friends with you?"

"I think it has a lot to do with my boobs," I said honestly.

"And your ass," he said.

"Nice," I snorted, and switched lanes to get onto the off ramp.

"It's okay, you're only friends with me because of my abs."

"Keep dreaming, Northman," I rolled my eyes, and got off the highway.

"Oh that's right, you always did say Alcide's were better."

"Yes, I did," I nodded, and I knew that still chapped his ass.

"Then tell me, how badly did the steroids deplete his package?"

"He didn't use steroids," I rolled my eyes, yet again. "He didn't need to, and do you really want to hear me talk about Alcide's package? Because I could tell you stor-"

"Yes, actually," he said, shocking the fuck out of me. "I would love to hear how big his dick is."

Well that backfired.

"Eric, I'm not going to talk about that with you," I said as we came to a red light.

"You offered," he shrugged.

"Yeah, well, now I'm taking that offer off the table. There is no way that conversation can possibly end well, and frankly, I don't feel comfortable discussing it with you," I admitted.

"Why not?"

"Because you hate Alcide, and... I don't know, it's just weird. We don't usually talk about that stuff. Besides, what is your fascination with Alcide's bedroom prowess anyway?" I asked, since that particular topic really seemed to get Eric fired up.

"Because somewhere down the line, you and I are going to end up having sex, and I want to make sure I'm the biggest and best you've ever had."

I shook my head and said, "That is so never going to happen, so you don't even need to worry about it."

"Wait, that we're never going to have sex, or that you've already had the biggest and best?"

"Both, maybe? We definitely won't be having sex, though, so you can put that right out of your mind."

"So I guess that means Alcide's packing," he sighed.

"I'm not answering that question, and you can knock it off with that sad panda thing going on on your face," I pointed at him.

"Oh come on, one day it'll happen. I don't know when, or why, or if we'll be drunk out of our minds and not remember it, but there's way too much sexual energy between us for us not to fuck eventually. And I _will_ be the biggest and best you've ever had."

"Maybe... but then what?" I looked over at him. "Ten years of friendship gone down the drain, and for what?"

"You don't know that," he said. "Maybe by the time we finally fuck we'll be emotionally able to handle it."

"Or maybe it'll be the biggest mistake of our lives. Personally, I'm not willing to risk it."

"Never say never, Sookie. Don't make me quote the Biebs ever again."

"I should kick you out of my car for being able to quote him at all," I said in all seriousness.

"Sorry, one of the waitress' kids hung out with me in my office the other day and all she wanted was to watch Justin Bieber Youtube videos."

"Uh huh. I'm checking your iPod when we get back to the house," I said, because after the showtunes incident a while back, I didn't believe him at all. That playlist was still there.

"You can check it," he laughed. "I'm serious though. It was Arlene's little girl. Babysitter fell through, so I let her spend her mom's shift in my office. She's obsessed with the Biebs."

"Oh my fucking God, why are you calling him that? Scary little troll with a lesbian haircut!" I ranted, and Eric laughed next to me.

"He doesn't have that anymore, he cut it off, much to little Lisa's dismay."

I stared at him like he had three heads.

"Who are you, and what have you done with Eric?" I demanded.

"You mean you didn't know that I was good with kids?" he asked.

"No, I didn't know you were a fangirl for Justin Beiber. God, next thing I know you'll be getting a snuggy-"

"NEVER!"

"Never say never," I mocked him, and it was a good thing we had turned into the driveway, because as soon as the car was in park, I turned off the ignition and bolted from the driver's seat.

"You're lucky you have fast reflexes!" he called after me.

I just laughed and formulated a plan in my head to decorate his office at the restaurant in floor to ceiling Bieber shit. Pam would help.

* * *

**This outtake was all kinds of awkward for us to write and yet another prime example of Scribe and I arguing in the chat portion of gdocs while we were writing. There's me being like, "Dude, he is SO in love with her! He should just tell her the fucking truth." Then there's Scribe who is like, "He's not IN love with her... he just likes her bewbs." Uh huh. Seriously... if you like this outtake I think you're really gonna love the next one because wow... until tomorrow kiddies xoxo**


	10. Wonder Why We Ever Go Home

Outtake: Wonder Why We Ever Go Home

In the wake of what happened after Eric and Isabel broke up I started thinking a little more seriously about my future. My brother was getting married in four months, and to Pam, of all people. Pam... who had been into chicks before meeting Jason. The bright side to that situation was that it just went to show that you never knew where real love was waiting for you, and you might find it in the person you least expected. Lord knows Pam hadn't planned on falling for my brother, but it had happened.

I didn't want to be the bitter, depressed single girl, but it was hard not to be. I told myself that Eric's sudden change in feelings where I was concerned was more about wanting to prove to himself that he could be happy in a relationship than it was about really having those sorts of feelings for me. I thought back to the way I felt after Alcide and I broke up, and how tempted I had been to cling to Eric because it was familiar and safe.

But I had withdrawn from him because it wasn't right to try and make him into a person I wanted him to be. I was vulnerable and feeling sorry for myself. It wouldn't have been fair to him to use him as a way to make myself feel better, and I knew he would feel just as awful for doing the same thing. At the same time, the thought of us being more than just friends started to really plant itself in my mind.

I was sitting at home one night, playing with Sully and listening to Jimmy Buffett, when I got the idea that maybe I should finally make good on the plan I'd had for a while. I was settled into my condo, things were good with Sully, and even though I was going to Mexico for Jason's wedding in just a couple of months I decided I needed some time to myself. So before I could talk myself out of it, I got out my laptop and booked myself a ticket to the closest airport to the Florida Keys. I made a reservation for a rental car so I could drive myself down the rest of the way, and found a little house I could rent for the week.

Telling Eric I was going was going to be the hard part. Telling him I was going alone was going to be even harder. I knew he was going to want to come with me, and I knew even though he would tell me he understood why I needed to be alone, he was going to be hurt that I was leaving. The chicken shit part of me that didn't want to hurt him seriously considered not telling him until I already landed in Miami, but I knew that was only going to make things worse. He would be fine without me for a week. Besides, it wasn't like I was going to Saturn, or something.

But I wanted a week to myself. Even if I just spent it smelling tropical air, listening to the Beach Boys and reading books while I sunned myself on the beach, I needed to clear my head space a little. I would be leaving in eight days, which gave me just enough time to give my boss notice at work (Elle was fine with it since I agreed to take my laptop along with me), and tell Eric that I was going. When I told my mother and Tara, they were both supportive of what I was doing. Mom, maybe more than anyone, understood why I needed the break.

She didn't know about what had happened with Eric; I hadn't told anyone about that. I had thought about telling Tara, but I already knew what she was going to say. Tara liked Eric well enough, but I also knew she was suspicious of what he really wanted out of our friendship. Turns out she was right, and I spent a lot of time wondering just how new Eric's feelings for me really were. But I decided not to think about that too much until I got to the beach in Florida. Maybe a few beautiful sunsets would take the weight off my shoulders and the darkness out of my soul.

So I thought about the easiest way to tell Eric, and I figured being casual about it was probably the best way to go. If I made a big deal about it, Eric would only get more dramatic than necessary and that would mean we would end up fighting about it. I didn't want to fight about it, and I didn't want him to think that it was somehow his fault that I was going away for a while. He was a factor in my decision, but it wasn't just him, and I didn't blame him for anything.

I just needed time.

On top of all the heavier, philosophical stuff I was debating over in my head, I was exhausted. I'd been working nonstop for the last couple of years, busting my ass to get myself where I was. I finally had some money put away in the bank, I owned my own home and really, I didn't have anything to complain about. I had a good life... but I wasn't happy. Something was missing, and I needed to figure out what that thing was.

My independence and feminist side didn't want to think it was a man, but I wouldn't know that until I did some soul searching. I didn't miss Quinn, that much was for damn sure. He was one big disaster, and I should have listened to those doubts in my mind the night he approached me at the bar. My instincts were good, and always had been. They were what told me to stick around when I first met Eric. Something had told me it would be a mistake to write him off just because he stared at me like I was a four course meal.

Part of me wondered if maybe, just maybe, things with Eric would be better if we just fucked and got it over with like he said. But I also knew that would put us both in a precarious situation, and like I told him, I wasn't willing to risk losing my friend. I loved him too much.

It dawned on me that maybe that was the problem. Maybe Eric and I were too close. Maybe that was why all of my relationships failed. He had a point when he said that somehow nothing else seemed to work because there was the assumption that he and I were secretly carrying on something more than a friendship. I thought back to all of the flirting, and the day he and Isabel broke up. I thought about the way he looked at me when I tried to climb off the bed, and then there was the night when he first broke up with Isabel months before... bad sex or not, I had barely touched him and that was all it took.

I tried to tell myself I was reading too much into things, that maybe I was just hoping he had feelings for me because maybe I had them too. All that did was convince me that I really needed to get away for a while and put things into perspective. The morning after I booked my tickets for Florida I went to work like I usually would. I sent Eric a text in the early afternoon to see if he would be able to meet me for dinner somewhere other than the bar. I wanted to be somewhere public because I didn't want him to be able to make a scene, and I knew he would if we were at either of each other's houses.

We agreed to meet at Gene's & Jude's in River Grove to get hot dogs, and I stopped at home to change clothes before going there to meet him. When I pulled into the parking lot a few minutes late, Eric was already waiting for me, sitting on the hood of his car with a smile on his face. I parked a few spots over from him, and tried to smile when I walked up to him, but he knew something was off about the way I was looking at him.

He knew me too well.

"Hey! Hungry? I'm starving," I said, putting at much cheer into my voice as possible.

"Me too," he said, and hopped off his car. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing, really. I just have something to tell you and I know you're probably going to be pissed about it," I said honestly.

"Is this the kind of thing that waits until after we eat?"

"I don't want to make a big deal out of it. I think it's a good thing," I told him.

"Okay, then tell me."

"Well," I started walking toward the little restaurant, and Eric fell into step beside me. "I've been thinking a lot lately, and I've sort of been in a funk about some stuff. Do you remember when I broke up with Alcide, and I mentioned the idea of going away for a little while?"

"Yeah," he said.

"Well, I decided it's time to actually follow through on that," I looked up at him as I opened the door to the restaurant. "Last night I booked myself a ticket to Miami. I'm going to spend a week in the Florida Keys... alone."

"Oh," he said, and out came the sad puppy face.

"Don't make that face," I pleaded with him. "I'll only be gone for a week I just... I have a lot going on in my head right now, and I need a little space to figure some things out."

"Okay," he said as we got in the rather short line.

"So you're not mad?" I asked him, waiting for him to explode.

"I don't really want to talk about it in here," he said.

"Oh," I said, and took a deep breath.

I kept quiet after that, only speaking to order my hot dog and large fruit punch. Eric ordered his food, and I paid for us both before he could argue with me about it. A few minutes later we were back outside, and walking toward our cars so we could eat, since there were no tables inside.

"Your car or mine?" I asked him when we got to his car, since it was closer to the building.

"Mine's fine," he said.

I got in the passenger's side when he unlocked the door for me, and I reached across the seat to unlock his door. While he got into the car, I dug into my purse for the ketchup packets I'd thrown in there for him.

"Here," I handed the packets to him. "Just in case you wanted it."

"Thanks," he smiled. "I have a bottle in the glove box too."

"Of course you do," I laughed. "Want it?"

"No, I'll use the packets."

"Okay," I said, and started to unwrap my hot dog.

The awkward tension between us was thick. I didn't like it at all.

"It always feels like it's been years since I've had one of these," he said after his first bite.

"I know what you mean," I smiled, and stuffed an enormous, greasy fry in my mouth while Eric turned on the radio. "God, this is delicious."

"You can't have this if you move to Florida."

"Who said anything about moving?" My head whipped around in his direction.

"Oh you know, sun, sand, surf, hot tan guys."

"Eric, I'm not moving," I insisted. "I'm just going for a week, and then I'm coming home. I just need a change of scenery for a few days."

"Why can't I come with you?"

I exhaled slowly and said, "Because I need to be by myself to figure some stuff out. With everything that's happened lately, I think maybe some time apart could be good for us."

"I don't get it," he said. "I was there for you for months after you and Alcide broke up. But you're okay with leaving me?"

"Eric, you can't really compare what I went through with Alcide to what happened with you and Isabel. By the time you two broke up you didn't even want to be with her anymore! I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with Alcide; I _wanted_ to spend the rest of my life with him. I left him because I realized that was never going to happen. It's not the same," I argued, and then felt badly for saying it, even if it was the truth.

"Oh, right," he said, and went back to eating to avoid talking to me.

"Please try to understand where I'm coming from," I pleaded with him, but he just kept concentrating on his food. "It's only a week, Eric. You'll hardly even miss me while I'm gone."

Apparently that was the exact wrong thing to say.

"How the fuck can you tell me I'll hardly miss you?"

"Eric, I-"

"No," he interrupted me. "You mean a hell of a lot to me, and you being around is the only thing that's kept me from feeling like a total failure for the last month. Don't say that I won't miss you."

"I'm sorry I said that. I was just trying to make you feel better about it. It's only seven days, Eric. And you wouldn't be this upset if I asked you to come with me," I pointed out. "But this trip isn't about you, it's about me. I need this. I'm exhausted. I haven't had a break in a really long time and I just... I need to do this. Please try to understand that."

"Then I guess now is a bad time to tell you I was planning a trip for both of us."

For some reason the words 'weekend getaway' were flashing in my mind in bright neon lights, and I could see us shacked up in some cozy bed and breakfast somewhere taking long walks and being the same dorks we'd always been. The frightening thing about it was that it didn't really seem weird to me, and that was what freaked me out.

"I didn't... why would you do that?" I asked him.

"Because I noticed how run down you've been, and I knew you needed a break. I need one too, so I thought it would be nice to take you somewhere for a week or two. Hawaii would have been a week, but I was trying to work out the details on Italy for two weeks."

I sat there completely flabbergasted. It took a minute before I could speak again.

"I don't even have a passport," I told him. I had applied for one since I was going to Mexico for the wedding, but it hadn't come through yet. "And how did you think you were just going to swing by and whisk me off to Italy for two weeks without telling me in advance? I have a job, Eric. I can't just take off whenever I want. Besides, if you want to go to Italy, you should go. You don't need me to hold your hand for it. Go have an adventure all by yourself. Maybe it'll do you some good," I suggested, trying not to lose my temper with him.

"I'm not an idiot, Sookie. I would have given you plenty of time to get a passport and get time off work. And I'd rather not go alone. I like sharing with people."

"I can't go to Italy with you, Eric," I whispered, and stared at my food. I wasn't hungry anymore.

"I know. You're going to Florida instead."

"Even if I wasn't going to Florida, I still couldn't go with you," I said, and felt my eyes start to well up.

"Why not?"

I looked over at him, and he scowled to see tears in my eyes. "Because I don't think it would mean the same thing to you that it would to me."

"It's not like that Sookie," he said. "It would be no different than the time I took Pam to France when we were twenty."

I nodded and said, "I still couldn't go with you. It's not as fancy as Italy, but I'm excited about Florida. I didn't plan this trip to hurt you, or to punish you. I did it for me."

"I was trying to do it for you too," he said.

"And that's really sweet of you," I wiped the tears off my cheek. "I love you for wanting to take care of me, and do something nice for me, but I can't let you do it."

"Why not?"

"Because I want to do it all on my own. I need to. I don't know how to explain it to you," I put my trash in the grease-stained bag. So much for enjoying my dinner.

"Then go," he said.

"And you're going to be pissed at me the entire time I'm gone," I sighed, and rested my head against the back of the seat.

"Don't worry about me."

"Do you want me to go?" I asked him. I could tell by the flush of his cheeks that he was angry.

"Of course I don't want you to go!" he snapped, then took a deep breath. "But I want you to do what makes you happy, and if leaving is going to make you happy, then do it."

I took a deep breath, set my bag down on the floorboard of the car and slid across the seat to give him a hug. That probably wasn't what he had in mind, or what he was expecting.

"I don't want you to be mad at me," I whispered.

"Too late."

"You're a jackass," I said, but didn't stop hugging him.

"You've always known that."

"And I'm not going anywhere, Eric," I squeezed him a little tighter. "You're still my favorite, whether that's in the state of Illinois, in a gondola in Italy, on a beach in Hawaii or anywhere else in the world. Got it?"

He finally wrapped his arms around me and hugged me back. "Got it."

"Good. I'm not leaving you, I'm just leaving the state. I'll be back before you know it," I promised him, just as 'Free Bird' started to play on the radio. "Oh that's just perfect," I laughed.

He snorted, and turned it up, then started to sing along. I sang along with him, with my head resting on his shoulder. During the epic guitar solo I felt his lips on my forehead, and I smiled up at him. I knew he still wasn't perfectly okay with it, but at least he wasn't furious with me anymore. At the moment, it was all I could ask for.

* * *

**EPOV**

I was on my way to the airport to pick up Sookie, and doing my best to get my head on straight. She'd only been gone for a week, and she was right about the time flying by, but I really had missed her a lot. Since my breakup with Isabel, I'd felt like a jackass, both for dating her in the first place, and for being unable to both stay in a relationship and fall in some kind of love. I hardly had affection for her.

Sookie being there for me sent me into a tailspin at first, and I made myself believe that somehow, she and I could work in a relationship. When she left for Florida, I was pissed, and hurt, and felt like I wasn't good enough for her. As the time went on, I realized though that it was probably for the best that she went. It made me understand more than ever that we were probably best as friends, and only friends. If I wanted to keep her in my life, I needed to accept that, and I knew it now. I was willing to do it.

I got to the airport about five minutes before her plane was due to land, and headed into the baggage claim to wait for her. The board showing the arrivals finally listed Sookie's flight as having landed, so I got up to wait for the throng of people I knew would be heading for the baggage claim. While I waited, I kept an eye on the claims to see which one would have her luggage so she wouldn't have to figure it out when she got there.

After a few minutes, I saw a crowd coming toward me, and near the edge of it was Sookie. I started waving my arms at her, and when she saw me she grinned and came running at me. She looked great. Relaxed, tan, and happy. I braced myself just before she got to me so she didn't knock me over, and caught her in my arms when she jumped.

"I missed you," I said as I squeezed her, and then planted a kiss on her cheek. I didn't want to let her go.

"I missed you too," she said, and squeezed me back. "I wasn't expecting you to be here, but I'm glad you are."

"I couldn't let you come home without having someone to hug you silly."

"Well, I'm glad it's you," she gave me one more squeeze, and then I had to put her down.

"How do you feel?" I asked. "You look relaxed."

"I feel... fantastic. I'm really glad I went. I had no idea it was that beautiful down there. I definitely want to go back sometime. Maybe next time you'll come with me," she nudged me with her hip.

"Definitely," I smiled. "Gotta take any chance I can to see you in a bikini."

"Ah, there's the Eric I know and love," she smiled up at me. "You're going to love the pictures I took."

"Are there any of you in a bikini?"

"Several," she said, and started looking for her bags when they started coming down conveyor belts.

"You're on carousel two," I said, and took her hand to lead her over. "Now tell me, who was it that took these pictures of you? Did you meet someone?"

"Most of them I took myself, but I did meet someone," she confided.

"Oooh, do tell," I said in my best 'gay' voice.

"There isn't really much to tell," she shrugged, but continued, "I was just lying on the beach one day, reading my book and getting my tan on, and when I got up to cool off in the water some guys were playing with a Frisbee, and the wind blew it near me. I picked it up for the guy running toward me, and we ended up talking. We had dinner together and just hung out a little, but it wasn't anything important."

"So you went on a vacation and didn't even have a fling?" I asked. I was surprised at how well I was keeping my cool over her meeting a guy.

"Nope, no fling. The closest I got was a kiss on the cheek when he walked me back to my rental house. I didn't see him again after that," she explained.

"Dude was a pussy," I snorted.

"No, he was working on getting over a girlfriend that he didn't really want to get over," she told me.

"Oh, well I'm a jackass then."

"You're not a jackass," she said, and reached for a bright orange suitcase that her arms weren't quite long enough to reach. "Dammit," she muttered, and started walking around the carousel to chase her bag.

"Let me," I said, and pulled it off for her. "Is this the only one?"

"Yep, that's it. Thank you," she smiled, and pulled the handle up so she could drag it along behind her. "So how was your week?"

"It was good. I hired a new chef that is just amazing. If you're hungry we can have dinner at the restaurant tonight and catch up."

"I'm starving, but I should probably get home to do laundry and get Sully back from the neighbor. I missed him, too."

"Then go do all that stuff and I'll bring dinner to you," I said.

"Okay," she agreed, and we made our way through the airport to get to the parking lot. When we stepped outside she took a deep breath and said, "I miss the smell of coconut."

"It doesn't smell so bad here."

"No, it doesn't; it smells like home," she sighed, and I led her to where my car was parked.

I opened the trunk and put her suitcase in it while she got in the car, then joined her.

"What do you want me to bring you for dinner?"

"I'll take my usual. I haven't had anything other than Cuban food for a week, and they don't do seven pepper fries down there," she grinned. "And don't let me forget that I brought you a present."

"You didn't have to get me anything," I said, but smiled anyway.

"I know I didn't, but I saw something and I immediately thought of you so I had to buy it."

"Then I'm sure I'll love it," I said, as I pulled out of the parking area.

"I hope so," she kicked off her sandals and put her feet up like she always did. "Check out the super awesome tan lines on my feet."

"You do realize that I have a penis, right?"

"I do, which is my I'm not showing you my henna tattoo," she smirked.

"Where'd you get it?"

"On my stomach."

"I've seen your stomach before," I said.

"Yeah, but you're driving right now. I'll show you later if you still want to see it," she offered.

"You can show me when I bring you dinner."

"Deal. It won't last forever, but I should have it for another week or so."

"Did you get anything pierced while you were down there?"

"God no," she laughed. "I have holes in my ears... that's enough."

"What about Dexter? Did you meet everyone's favorite serial killer?"

"No, they aren't filming right now. As a matter of fact, I missed an episode while I was gone," she said with obvious disappointment.

"Then it's a good thing your bestest friend in the whole world still has it on his DVR."

"I knew there was a good reason why we're still friends."

"That, and my irresistible charm."

"And your modesty," she added with a wink.

"I have some of that?"

"Once in a while," she rested her head against the back of the seat and yawned. "I shouldn't be tired, but I could use a nap."

"Take one when you get home."

"Nope, if I do that I'll be up all night, and I have to go back to work tomorrow, so we won't be hanging out all night," she warned me.

"That's fine. I'll just bring you dinner and we can talk."

"I like that plan. So, tell me more about this amazing new chef," she rolled her head toward me.

"His name is Lafayette, he's very, very fabulous, and by fabulous I mean gay," I laughed. "He's down to earth, funny, has a great attitude, and can cook better than anyone I've ever seen."

"Can he handle Pam, and all of her personalities?"

"He can more than handle Pam. Those two... you just have to see it to understand."

"I'm sure I will. I hope you warned him before you hired him."

"I did," I said. "He said he could handle her."

"Well anyone who can put Pam in her place gets my vote."

"Mine too," I grinned.

"I still can't believe my brother is marrying her," Sookie laughed. "Oh! Amelia came up with a bridal shower idea... it's completely over-the-top and ridiculous. I told her there is no way in fuck I am paying for half of the stupid shit she wants to do, so there's a distinct possibility I may end up punching her in the face before all this wedding nonsense is over with."

"You should punch her in the face anyway," I rolled my eyes. It was no secret that Amelia and I hated each other.

"She's really not that bad of a person, Eric. I know you two don't get along, but she's not that bad," Sookie insisted.

"Not that bad? She glares at me if we're ever in the same room."

"I don't know what that's about," she shrugged. "You're perfectly likeable. Maybe she's just pissed because you won't give it up."

"Probably. Who knows though, she's a psycho."

"She's not a psycho," Sookie said, but it could have been more convincing.

"Uh huh... coulda fooled me."

"Moving on," she said with a smile.

"Yeah."

"Heard from Isabel at all?"

"She emails me from time to time," I said.

"Oh God," Sookie cringed. "You must have rocked her world."

"No, she just wants my money."

"That whore," she muttered quietly, but I still heard it.

"Did you just call her a whore?" I asked teasingly.

She sputtered for a few seconds before she asked, "What else would you call it? She was willing to trade boring sex for your money. Did she ever let you turn the lights on?"

"Nope," I said, popping the p. "I honestly can't say I know what she looks like naked, and I'm kinda thankful for that."

"Well based on what she looks like with clothes on, I'm guessing you didn't miss much."

"So mean today," I laughed.

"I'm just doing my job as a best friend to roast the bitch who delusionally thought she was breaking your heart," she said in her own defense. "Plus she called me fat more than once."

"I can't say that surprises me, but I'm sorry she didn't do it in front of me. I wouldn't have let it slide."

"She said a lot of nasty things to me when you weren't around," Sookie confessed. "I'm not going to bother repeating it all because it doesn't matter, but I'll just say that being fat was only one of many faults in her eyes. Although, she did ask a few people around the bar if I'd had a boob job."

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me any of this when I was dating her?"

"Because she was being a petty, simple bitch and I knew you would come up with plenty of your own reasons to cut her loose," Sookie shrugged. "Besides, she was so pissed when she found out the girls are homegrown and not store bought. I have no doubt if I would have paid for these she would have wanted the name of my surgeon."

I snorted. "You're right."

Sookie closed her eyes with a smile on her face, and stuck her hand out the window to feel the wind on it. She looked beautiful there, even with the goofy fedora on her head. I dropped her off at her condo with the promise of dinner when I got back. I was glad she was home.

"Thank you for picking me up from the airport!" she called from the back of her condo when I was on my way out the door.

"You're welcome!" I called back. "I'll see you in a couple hours!"

"I'll be waiting!"

I had a smile on my face as I left, and decided to head to the bar to get some work done before bringing her dinner. We had some things to talk about. I wanted to be a hundred percent clear with her that I had just been going through something, and all I wanted from her was her friendship. I felt a lot better just having come to that realization myself, and I needed her to hear it too.

When I got to the bar I did some paperwork, finished up the new schedule, and laminated the new cleaning lists to put up in the kitchen and behind the bar. By the time I was finished with all that, I was sure Sookie was dying of starvation, so I went down to the kitchen to put our order in. I got her the fries she loved so much, and also ordered my new chef's chicken sandwich. I figured she couldn't yell at me much since it was grilled chicken.

Once the food was ready I bagged it up and headed back to Sookie's. She'd left her door unlocked, so I let myself in and called out to her. Then Sully came running at me.

"Hey boy, where's your mommy?"

"I'm not his Mommy!" Sookie shouted from the back of the condo, and then appeared with her hair wrapped in a towel, and another one around her. "Give me two minutes to put some clothes on."

"Alright, I'll get the food out. And you're totally his mommy."

"I'm his owner, not his Mommy!" she argued from the back of the house. "And don't give him any people food!"

"I won't!" I said, but fully intended to sneak him a fry or two.

Two minutes later Sookie found me in the kitchen, dressed in a baggy t-shirt and a pair of tight yoga pants. She peeked around me to see the food I was plating up, and she grabbed a fry off of one of the plates.

"Mmm... that's so good," she moaned, and went to the fridge to get us drinks. "There's a Dr. Pepper in my freezer for you."

"Why thank you, favorite person in the world," I said, and went to the freezer to get it out. "I also ordered you a chicken sandwich that you have to try. It's one of Laff's additions to the menu."

"As long as there's no mushrooms, I'll give it a chance," she said, and grabbed the plate with the pepper fries off the counter to take it to the dining room. Sully followed, hoping to hoover up anything she dropped.

"No mushrooms," I said.

"Good deal," she said, and sat down at the table with Sully sitting obediently, probably with a beggar's look on his face.

I picked up my food and followed her in, taking the seat across from her.

"Feel good to be home?"

"Yes! Believe it or not, I missed the sound of the planes. If it wasn't for the noise of the ocean I probably wouldn't have slept the whole time I was gone," she said, and lifted her sandwich to take a bite. The roll of her eyes told me she liked it.

"Sooo, would you like to meet my new chef?"

"Sure," she smiled, and stuffed a pepper fry in her mouth.

"You're going to love him."

"Anyone who can make a chicken sandwich this good can't be all bad."

"He makes his own sauce for it."

"It's delicious," she said, and took another big bite.

I just sat there and smiled at her as she ate, thankful that I hadn't fucked up what we had completely.

Sully sat there whimpering, trying to get Sookie to give in and feed him some of her food, but she was a total hard ass. He turned to me with that sad look in his eyes that was hard to say no to.

"Don't do it," Sookie said, without looking up from her plate.

"I know better than to do it in front of you," I said, and she kicked me under the table. "Ow!"

"Don't do it," she repeated herself, no sympathy whatsoever for my sore shin.

"Alright, alright," I sighed.

"Thank you," she said, and wiped her hands on napkin. "So what else do you have planned for tonight?"

"I figured we could just watch TV until I have to go," I said. "And I need to talk to you about some things."

"Okay," she said, and waited for me to start talking.

"It's about the way I was acting before you left."

She waved it off and said, "Eric, don't worry about it. It's cool."

"No, it really wasn't," I said. "I'm actually glad you left now, because it made me think about some things. I don't think either one of us realizes how dependent we are on the other, emotionally at least. You were right, I was clinging to you and the idea of being with you because it felt easy and comfortable, but it wouldn't work. I'm sorry I ever put you in that position."

"Eric, it's okay," she reached over and put her hand on mine. "Remember when I stayed with you after Alcide and I broke up?"

"Yeah."

"The second morning when I woke up and we were both sleeping in your bed... I was comfortable there. It was nice to not be alone, and I realized that it would be really easy to try and change my role in your life. At this point there isn't much difference between our relationship as friends, and what a marriage would be like. The big difference is obviously the sex thing, and because my head was all fucked up then there was the thought that maybe we could go down that road, but... eventually my heart would heal and I would realize that I was just using you to make myself feel better, and I could never do that to you. So that's why I went to stay with my parents. It wasn't because you did something wrong, or because I didn't appreciate every single thing you did to help me move on," she said sincerely. "So I understand where you're coming from. There's no need to apologize for it."

"So the only difference is that I was stupid enough to say it all out loud?"

She laughed and said, "You were just being honest. You don't have to apologize to me for that either."

"But it put you in such an awkward position."

"It did, but we got past it. I'm not angry with you for it."

"Good. Because I don't want to fuck up our friendship."

"Me either," she smiled, and then got up. "Wait here. I'll be right back," she said, and then disappeared from the room.

I wondered what she had left to do, but then remembered she'd told me she got me a present. I sat there waiting like a kid told to sit still on Christmas.

Sookie came back and set a little black velvet pouch on the table beside my plate. "That's for you, obviously."

"Why thank you," I grinned as I picked it up and opened it. Inside was a silver necklace with an anchor pendant hanging from it. "You bought me jewelry."

She rolled her eyes and said, "Did you look at the pendant?"

"It's an anchor," I smiled.

"Yes, it is... and symbolism isn't your strong suit, is it?" she smirked, and sat down in her chair again.

"Perhaps not," I said. "Explain?"

"Well, the purpose of an anchor is to keep something in one place that would otherwise drift away. You're my anchor, Eric," she said with a small smile on her face.

"If I was a girl, I'd probably be crying right now," I said, then got up so I could hug her. "Thank you. You're my anchor too."

"You can cry if you want; I won't tell anyone," she offered, and hugged me back.

"That's okay," I said. "I really love it though."

"Good," she smiled. "If you want to butch it up a little you could put it on a leather cord or something if you prefer that to silver."

"No, I'll wear the silver," I said. "It doesn't look girly."

"I'm glad you like it," she said, and then got up again to take our plates to the kitchen.

"I wish I'd gotten you something."

"I only got it because I saw it and thought of you," she said with a casual shrug. "I'm not expecting anything return. The hug was good enough."

"How about a nice vacation to Hawaii next time you're feeling exhausted?"

"Hawaii would be nice," she agreed, and went to the living room. She flopped down on the couch and put her feet up.

"Then it's a done deal," I said, and followed her in there. "We could take surfing lessons and swim with dolphins."

"Go on long hikes and play in waterfalls," she smiled, and moved her feet so I could sit down, and then put her feet back on my lap. "Eat more pineapple than is rational for a single person to eat in a lifetime."

"Of course. But, I must warn you that there will be separate hotel rooms so I can get with all the hottie Hawaiian babes I can."

"Ha! You think it's like a Hawaiian Tropics commercial come to life?" she snorted.

"Isn't it?"

"I guess we'll find out. Oh! I can take hula lessons!"

"That would be hot."

"Might as well put these hips of mine to use for something other than holding my jeans up," she smirked.

"There's quite a few things you could use those hips for."

"I'm sure there are."

"Then you be sure to let me know when you want to show me some of them," I said and winked.

"I don't think you could handle it," she said, and rolled onto her side so she could grab the remote off the coffee table.

"Probably not, especially after Isabel."

"Aww you mean she didn't have an inner Shakira she only showed in private?" she snickered, and turned on the TV.

"You know better," I said, and put my feet up.

"Here," she handed me the remote. "You pick so I don't have to hear you whine."

"I don't whine," I said, as I flipped to _Kitchen Nightmares_. I found it fascinating since owning my own restaurant.

"I'm calling bullshit of the century on that one!" she laughed loudly.

"I don't!"

"You are so in whiner's denial!"

"Am not," I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

That just made her laugh harder.

"Fine! I whine a little bit. And only sometimes."

"Like when I try to make you watch _Teen Mom_," she said while gasping for air.

"I don't even know why you watch that shit."

"Because it's rather mindless entertainment, and because those babies are adorable," she said without a hint of apology.

"You just like babies too much."

"Shut your lips! Babies are cute. I'm sure once you got past the shock of having one, you'd think your kid was the cutest little shit machine in the world," she challenged.

"I think it's time I told you something serious," I said, and hit mute on the remote.

"Okay."

"A condom broke once."

"Oh God... not with the human stick figure, I hope."

"God no," I shuddered. "This was years ago, before you and I met."

"So is there a baby Northman running around?" she asked, eying me curiously.

"Do you really think I wouldn't take responsibility for my kid?" I asked.

"I'm just asking," she shrugged.

"No, there isn't a baby Northman running around," I sighed. "But the situation scared the shit out of me. It was a one night stand, and I didn't even remember her name when she came to me a few weeks later."

"Ouch," she hissed. "That's an awkward moment."

"She knew how I was," I shrugged. "But it was scary. She told me she'd taken an at home pregnancy test that had come back positive, and wanted me to go to the doctor with her for a blood test. Of course I had no clue whether or not I really was the only possible father, but she seemed genuinely scared, so I went with her."

"Wow," she said, and sat up a little.

"The blood test came back negative," I said. "I almost pissed myself with relief, and she actually cried she was so happy. I'm glad too, because it could have been a gold digger situation. We went out to lunch after and she kind of chided me on my behavior."

"For going along with her to get a blood test when you two didn't really know each other? You could have slammed the door in her face and told her to fuck off, but you didn't."

"She didn't chide me for that. She was a good girl type. Going to college, really smart, never did anything wild and reckless, the whole world at her feet. I never really thought about the girl I was sleeping with, and what it would mean for her if a mistake happened. I did learn a lot about myself through the situation though. I know that I would step up to the plate, even if that didn't include a relationship with the mom."

"Well I'm glad something good came from that situation," she shrugged, and leaned back against the couch again.

"That's all you have to say?"

"What else do you want me to say? You learned something from what could have been a bad situation and it made you a better person. I'd say that's a pretty good deal, especially since you walked away from it without having a kid with a girl whose name you couldn't even remember."

"But does this mean you'll stop teasing me about my aversion to babies?"

"Only if you're going to stop acting like they all have the plague every time you see one."

"That's just because they're so tiny … and breakable."

"Nah, they're way more resilient than you think. Now if you drop one on its head, that's a whole other ball game. I think you'd look cute with a kid," she told me.

"I'm cute anytime, what are you talking about?" I laughed. "But I think it's more about how I've never really been around babies, so I just don't know what to do with them."

"You'd learn," she shrugged.

"I'm sure I would, but I'm not planning on having a baby just to do that. I can wait for Pam to have children."

"You want Pam to spawn?" she shuddered.

"Oh, yeah, you're probably right. There's always Tara's."

"Hey! What about me?" she nudged me with her foot.

"You're not pregnant."

"Well duh, but I'm going to have kids someday," she glared at me.

"And hopefully by then I'm more comfortable with babies, because you would cut my junk off if I dropped one of yours."

"Awww, you're sweet," she smiled.

"Thanks, shnookums."

Sookie glanced at the TV, made a face and then hid behind a pillow. "That was disgusting, and I'm sorry I looked!" she whined from behind her hiding place.

"Oh I love this episode!" I said, and unmuted the TV.

Sookie stayed hidden behind her pillow, and when I pulled it away from her face a few minutes later it looked like she was sleeping.

"Did you pass out?" I asked, and poked her cheek.

"Mmmm," she grumbled, and turned further on her side.

"Want me to leave so you can get some sleep?"

"Mmmm," she said again, so I had no idea if she was really hearing me or not.

"Alright," I said, and flipped the TV off.

I pulled the pillow off her lap, and picked her up off the couch. She just curled into me and didn't argue, so she had to be out of it. I carried her back to her bedroom and got her under her covers, then made sure her alarm was set for in the morning. She didn't come to at all. Before I left, I cleaned up her kitchen and let Sully out.

It was good to have her back.

* * *

**So this is the last outtake that we've written from before the story began. We've already written a few for After the Storm after the story ends, but I won't post those until we finish writing that story. But now you know how Eric and Sookie got to the point they were at in Mexico, and really it was a long time coming. But at least they were both going into it without having feelings for someone else, and it wasn't just a matter of convenience. I tend to think Sookie did have feelings for Eric but she didn't bother to examine them because it seemed like a bad thing. But oh well *shrugs* It all turned out okay in the end. Thanks for reading!**


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